Confessions of a Geek

DISCLAIMER: If you came looking for something to encourage you on your faith journey, this post probably won't be it. If you came looking for someone to laugh it, this is your lucky day. I'm taking a break from the usual today in order to love life.

Last night, I confirmed to myself what I have known all along. I AM A GEEK! My wife gave me two of the coolest toys ever. The first was a Darth Tater (Mr. Potato Head dressed as Darth Vader). The second was a Jedi light sabre training game. It has a little camera/sensor you mount on top of the tv and a play sabre you hold while fighting bad guys and going thru training exercises on the screen. I waited all day Christmas to get a chance to play it while my kids played with their new video game or I set up all their other toys. Honestly, I was hoping to get them involved in something else so I wouldn't have to share.

I finally got to play. And I did terrible. Couldn't get past stage 1 of my training. To add insult to injury, I finally let my oldest son play and he cruised right along to stage 2. Then I let my six-year old play and it was really quite funny to watch him jump all over the living room. BUT, he too cruised right along to stage 2. Humility is too mild a word to describe what I was feeling. This must be how it feels when you realize your teenage son could kick your butt in a fight and he knows it too. He just doesn't out of respect.

I resisted the urge to play. I nursed my ego all evening. "I think I need to recalibrate the settings for my player" was my excuse. I finally gave in. Once the boys were in bed and asleep, I gave it one more try. For the record, recalibration actually helped. I finished the evening just a hair's breadth from completing stage two. I can now proudly say I am once again better than my 8 1/2 year old and my 6 year old sons. If only my father could see me now.

But that's not what makes me a geek. As I was playing, I found myself speaking to myself as if Master Yoda was coaching me. At one point, I found myself slipping into scenes from the movies. Before I realized what was happening, I was fighting with the light sabre in my right hand while holding up my left, using the force to knock back my enemies. During this display of geekness, my wife sat on the couch, watching, wishing she was video taping the whole affair, and generally making fun of me. That's ok. She can laugh if she wants to. She'll thank me the next time we are attacked by battle drones or some punk gang of Sith wannabe's.

BTW, my kids wanted to watch Episode I the other night. That gave me an excuse to watch the other five when we were done. I managed to get II & III in over the weekend. Maybe I can get Episode IV in tonight.

Gotta go now. I have a training date with Anakin.

A Christmas Wish

Merry Christmas!

May it be filled with the joy, life, light, hope, peace, and love it was intended to bring.

And I hope your faith journey take you places like that everyday :-)

Survivor Part 2 - Beauty that lasts

Ok, here's my second set of thoughts from watching the Survivor finale Sunday night. Imagine how you would look if you spent 39 days on a remote island or in a remote jungle without any basic facilities like showers, running water in general, toilets, etc. Well, that's how these people look too. My wife is so glad we don't have smell-o-vision yet.

WARNING: The next paragraph or two may come off as chauvinistic, sexist, and just plain ol' male drivel. However, read through it and you will see a wonderful recovery at the end.

Every season there are one or two women on the show who try to use their feminine charms to get them through the game. They are usually quite attractive in every sense of the word. The other women often recognize this. The males usually do too, but only if they are over the age of thirty and know they really don't stand a chance with these women. BTW, the attractive women usually target the under thirty set anyway.

Now for the recovery. Remember the fact that there are no facilities of any type. That includes make-up. I am always amazed at how different most of the women look on the finale show. They have had showers, done their hair, and put on make-up. The guys usually don't look much different with the exception of maybe a shave. And almost always, we (the missus and I) agree that we liked the physical appearance of the women on the island/jungle better. It's not that they are not attractive with make-up and done hair, you just get used to how someone looks and that's how you like them.

OK, maybe that not's a recovery in your mind, but I know I'm no chauvinist. Just ask my wife. She'll tell you that I find her the most attractive when she feels she is at her worst.

Faith journey connections - where are they? The real rewards of a faith journey come when you are in the trenches, getting dirty, struggling with life, and when you generally feel like you are at your least attractive, at least in terms of your faith journey. When you come out of those struggles with new understanding, that "natural beauty" shines through and people take notice. When we put on our best face and pretend this is how we always are, it may look good, but it doesn't last. I prefer natural, honest beauty (and faith).

Just a Thought.

Statistics, Schmatistics

Did you hear the good news today? According to a recent study, 95% of all people have engaged in premarital sex. This includes women. Glad to hear that, who else would all those men been engaging with? It also includes people going back to the 1940's. The whole point of the story was to say that we as a society have not been as chaste historically at we would like to believe. It is also being used as "evidence" to discredit abstinence only education.

I don't know what to think of this. Ninety-five percent sounds pretty high. Is this an agenda driven report? Most likely so. But if it's true, if it's accurate, now what? My first thought is this - If a gazillion people do a stupid thing it's still a stupid thing. Having premarital sex is not a stupid thing, but I do think it is an unwise thing. Just because everyone else MIGHT be doing it doesn't mean you have to.

On a deeper level, the debate about all things related to Christian morality will rage for a few days before drifting off into irrelevancy, waiting for the next heat-of-the-moment piece of fuel. People will try to determine what was meant by "premarital sex" and how far is too far before you cross that line. High schoolers, college-aged, and young adults will be the most common participants in this discussion. There will even be the "what about engaged couples" debate. I know this will happen because I used to take part in every one of them when I was a high schooler, college-aged, young adult, and engaged person. The church will shake its head, wring its hands, and cry out in despair and frustration at the declining mores of society and general loss of its young people.

OR, the debates will take place. High schoolers, college students, young adults, and engaged couples will ask the questions. And those of us on a faith journey will answer with this question - What is the place of sex on your faith journey? That's really what's it all about. It's not about looking for loopholes, special permission, or adjusting the meaning to fit cultural dynamics. You can say the same about gambling, slavery, abortion, drinking, smoking, divorce, racism, wealth, greed, war, poverty . . . any issue you would like.

Where do we find the answers? You find them in community with other people on a faith journey. That's not what you thought I was going to say is it? You know, 95% of people asked would have said "the Bible."

When you gather your community around you to determine what place _______ has on a faith journey, make sure your community is made up of people actually on a faith journey. You can't just assemble the people around you who will tell you what you want to hear. If your community is a faith journey community, you will get your answer. The answer will come from their experience, the traditional perspective on the issue, their reasoning, and yes, even the Bible. I don't want you to "go to the Bible" by yourself because a committee of one is pretty easy to convince.

The really cool part of finding answers in community like this is that God, the author of all faith journeys, is usually right in the midst, guiding this part of everyone's journey. He really is one you want to please anyway, isn't it? Isn't a faith journey supposed to lead you to Him?

By the way, 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999 % of the world's population won't care how you answer the question. But there is One who always will.

Survivor Part 1 - Power, Bitterness, & Games

One of my favorite shows to watch is Survivor. I don't watch a lot of tv, but this one show I will not miss. We tape it every week. In fact, it's a date for the missus and me. We can count on the other person stopping so we can watch it together.

I'm writing while watching the finale. Before I finish writing, the winner will be named and someone will win $1 million. (BTW, it was Yul, the tall Korean?? guy) One thing I always find ridiculous in watching the finale is how bitter the losers, uh . . er. . .I mean the jury is. There is always a group of people who were outwitted, outplayed, just plain outsmarted that cry like a bunch of babies. They inevitably ask the final players questions that demonstrate that they, the jury, now have the power.

The premise of the game is to outwit, outsmart, outplay your competitors. I'm not condoning dishonesty or weak ethics in life, but the bottom line is THIS IS A GAME! I'm willing to bet my 401K that those who are the most bitter would have done the same things had they been given the opportunity. They never got the chance because they did not play as well.

This is a blog about finding connections in what happens in our ordinary lives to what God wants to do in our lives. It's all about our faith journeys. On our faith journeys, there will be a lot of times where we are in the losers seat. Life will not be fair. People around you will take advantage of you and they will use you.

When this happens, we get to choose how we will respond. We don't have to like it, but bitterness is not the answer. Power has nothing to do with how you control others or how you have been controlled. Power can only be used against us when we give it to others. Our response is the real indicator.

What's any of this got to do with our faith journeys? Jesus, whose birth we celebrate this month, modeled real power. Jesus, the son of God, gave it all up to take on human form. Not only did he take on human form, but he obeyed the limits of that form, even unto death. Death couldn't hold him, which is why we celebrate Resurrection Sunday, commonly called Easter. And in the end, his name was made greatest of all. That is real power.

We too can experience that kind of power by entering into a faith journey and losing our self in Christ. Life's experiences will bring moment of potential bitterness. It helps to know that we are on a journey and this is not our final destination. Besides, we are told to count it all joy when trials and troubles come our way. Just like on Survivor, it's how you play right up to the end that determines whether or not you win. Only the prize is worth a lot more than $1 million.

Putting it all on the line

Humility has been my watch word and song this week. There are lots of reasons why, but I'm only going to tell you about one. I joined an online writers group this week. If you've read my profile, you know I aspire to publish a speculative fiction novel one day. BTW, "speculative fiction" is a new term I've picked up in the last few weeks. It is essentially sci-fi/fantasy, but that's not important, at least not here, not today.

On this online forum I've joined, aspiring writers can submit the first 13 lines of their work to receive feedback by folks who at least sound like they know what they are talking about. I spent the first week reading all the other stuff that had been submitted and their critiques. Boy, was I intimidated. I could see the reasoning behind every criticism and suggestion AFTER I read every criticism and suggestion. When I compared these submissions to my own work I thought, "I'll never get published."

I swallowed my pride and my nerves this morning and submitted my first thirteen lines. I received two immediate feedbacks, one not so nice. I wonder if I will ever make it. I submitted a revision and am waiting for the wrath to come.

This whole process is a lot like a faith journey. No really, it is. Most of us want to be something greater and we sincerely try. In private, where nobody knows. If we put it all out there where others can see and evaluate it, somebody's gonna eventually give us some corrective and instructive feedback. We don't always want to hear it. Sometimes we become so defeated after receiving it that we stop altogether.

We should see those opportunities as growth opportunities. We should be thankful that someone is willing to help push us along on our faith journeys. We should never give up, retreat, or just hide. That's not a journey - that's a bus stop. Does it require humility? Yes. Does it bring great reward? Yes. Is it worth it? You know the answer.

slowing down

Life happened this weekend, so it kept me from posting on Monday. Today, I've got so many things floating thru my mind that I dug into the archives of some unposted thoughts, looking for something I could post. Here's an unposted and edited thought from a couple months ago that seems appropriate right now.

I'm noticed something about myself lately. I'm slowing down more often. Not just when I'm unwinding, but in general. On the road between home and the office, the speed limit is 55 mph. But I regularly only drive about 45, rarely ever above 50. It becomes really obvious when the cars begin to line up behind me, right on my bumper, edging across the yellow line and looking for a chance to pass me. Luckily it's only four miles because the folks behind me are not all equally patient.

My taste in music seems to be changing. I still enjoy rock & roll with hard driving guitars, urban contemporary with a good bass line, and the occassional feel good pop song. I find myself gravitating towards things a little softer and more on the "easy listening" side. When I do get a chance to sample the latest rock, pop, or R&B, I found myself struggling to make out some of the lyrics. Maybe it's the ear-piercing volume at which I used to enjoy my music that now makes it difficult to hear the lyrics properly. I recently read where someone is marketing higher pitch ringtones to teens because adult ears do not hear them as well.

As I made my 47 mph drive home while listening to the soft easy rhythms of my music, I had a horrifying thought. "I"m getting OLD!!!" I don't mind the benefits of age like increased wisdom. I have even welcomed my gray hair because people tend to take to you more seriously with a little gray. I just don't want to become one of those people I always made fun of.

But I do want to slow down. In fact, my family already has several important changes planned for 2007 to assist in that. And I fully expect them to work. We're looking forward to more time together and a recapturing of the higher ideals we have for our family.

Other parts of my life I want to speed up - like the growth of my IRA's. ;-) Or the good fruit from the things I do. I look at the faith journeys of those around me and for those whose lives in which I have some influence, I look forward to seeing some parts of their journeys speeding up. Well, maybe not speeding up, just moving along at a good pace. I know that if I slow down and really evaluate what's important, I will see others speed up because of how it changes our interactions together. I'm sure I will focus more on what's really important in our relationships. I'm sure it will increase the amount of grace that operates between us. That sounds like a good thing.

I guess life in the slow lane isn't so bad. Just a thought.

Remember when . .

Words will always come back to find us. Hopefully we say enough good things in our lives that those things we wish had never said won't find their way back home as often. This morning, I was searching through some old files looking for something to spark a blog entry. I came across an article I put in a church newsletter a couple of years ago. I remember writing that column, hoping to provide some encouragement, cast a little vision, and stir up some positive change for the people in the church. When the year ended, things were worse than when it began.

I've reread that particular article several times in the years since first writing it. Every time my thoughts were, "How could I have been so wrong?" or "I guess that didn't work." As I read that same column this morning, I was filled with hope and satisfaction. Why? Because wonderful things are happening at that church. I keep hearing stories about all the great things occurring there. All the things I had hoped that article would spur are taking place.

I'm not saying I deserve credit for this wonderful change that's taking place. I'm just saying it's nice to see some of it happening. That newsletter article wasn't the only time I referenced some of those ideas. I had a lot of one-on-one conversations with people about those ideas in the months after that. Whether those changes are the fruit of some seed I planted I don't really know. But I'd like to think they are.

This week, look at your faith journey. Think back and remember when someone said something to you, or did something for you and over time it had a positive impact on you. How can you do the same thing for someone else in your life? What can you continually say and do that will positively affect the faith journey of someone else so that one day they will say, "Remember when you said . . . "

I hope that one day, your words come back to find you. And I hope your pleased with what they did while they were gone. Just a thought.

It's beginning to look a lot like . . .

We put our Christmas tree up this past weekend. I dislike the Christmas rush more than most people. I dislike seeing the trees and decor out on the shelves in September. I love the celebration of Christmas and all the warm fuzzies that come with it. But each year I grow a little colder and a little harder in response to the mainstream treatment of it.

It honestly felt weird to put the tree up. It did not help that is was seventy-two degrees outside. We ALWAYS put the tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving. This year it just seemed too early. I'm still glad we did it though. The boys had a great time and the tree is really more for them than it is for me. Once I put the cookies in the oven and the Christmas CD's in the stereo, my mood changed.

As we pulled each ornament out of its box, I got more and more into it. Every ornament has a story. Every ornament evokes a memory. My kids are getting old enough that now they are able to recall their own stories for each one, not just recite the ones they hear their mom and dad recite.

It's beginning to look a lot like . . . it always does. And that's why we do it. My wife and I decided early in our relationship (pre-marriage) that we wanted to establish some speacial traditions in our family. Tradition sounds like a strange word to come out of my mouth I know. I'm not talking about a stuck in a rut attitude that says we have to do it this way because we've always done it this way mentality. It's a "let's set some traditions to use as rituals and rites of passage to mark the passing of time."

The Christmas tree and the annual ornament shopping trip are just two of the traditions we observe. Every summer we try to spend a few days at the beach with GrandMa and GrandPa. The boys ride down with them as they pull the camper behind them. And that rounds out our set of annual things. We need more traditions to be honest. We have one "weekly" observance. Every Friday night is family night for us. The boys can count on us stopping everything else and devoting that time to them.

Traditions and rituals are important because they create an atmosphere where it is beginning to look like it always does. When you are on a faith journey, it's good to have a few traditional stops along the way. They allow you to reflect on past memories and the things God has done for you. They allow you to "reset" and remember what is important when your life gets out of kilter.

A good weekly tradition is attending worship service with other folks on a faith journey. My faith journey has the typical traditions that are part of the usual faith observance - Christmas, Easter, sometimes Pentecost. Others are things like going to camp every summer. I have important decisions I have made on my journey and decisions my children have made on their own journeys in my PDA. When those dates comes around, I'm reminded of what happened "when. . ."

It's beginning to look a lot like it always does in my house. That's a good thing.

Giving Thanks

This week I'm going cliche and writing about giving thanks. If you know me personally, you know how difficult that is. But I can't help it. There are lot of things to be thankful for.

Our church said good-bye to Charlie Strickland this weekend. His battle with a series of brain tumors ended Saturday night. Most of us in the church, myself included, had only know Charlie for about three months. But they were three great months.

Charlie entered our lives as a result of getting serious about his faith journey. In fact, he really liked the "journey" terminology. Whenever I talked to him, whether in the hospital or out, he would say, "We're on a journey. But it's a good one." Charlie held no illusions about his prognosis. The closer he got to the end, the more excited I believe he became about his journey. He knew the final destination on his journey would be amazing beyond belief.

What's all this got to do with being thankful? I'm thankful I got to know Charlie. I'm thankful I got to see his enthusiasm about his faith journey. I'm thankful that as his pastor, I can say with assurance where he is tonight.

Of all the things I have for which to be thankful - my wife, my kids, never going hungry or cold, and so on, I am most thankful that I have assurance about the journey I am on. I am thankful that one day my journey will end and Charlie will be one of the folks who will greet me at my final destination. Just a thought.

GASP! The Impossible Happened!

It's nice to return from the land of the almost dead. That's how I felt yesterday. I had some kind of bug that mimicked the flu, but without the fever. I had chills most of the day. Ironically, I took some acetaminophen to battle some aches and it created hot flashes. Puzzled, I wondered why since we use it to treat our children's fevers all the time! Anyhow, I spent most of yesterday asleep or otherwise just lying around. Today all my muscles are tight and I can barely move.

My wife was most shocked to see me in that condition. I NEVER get sick. She told others, "He NEVER gets sick!" "That's impossible!" you might say. "You got sick yesterday." True, but I get sick rare enough to be able to say "NEVER" with a clear conscience. The other aspect of this trait of mine is that when I do get sick, it is usually only for a small fraction of the time that everyone else did. The average 24 hour bug will last around 4 hours for me. Which could mean I get sick more than I realize, it's just too short for me to notice. Hmmm. . . that's an interesting theory.

There's been a lot of talk in the media and on the blogosphere lately about the fall of prominent religious leaders. Anytime another one falls, we always dig into the back of the closet and pull out the skeletons of past fallen leaders, raking them over them coals once more. People who call themselves Christians are then forced to take a stand - do they defend the fallen or do they distance themselves? Usually they waffle in the middle with a statement like this - "Christians aren't perfect. Just forgiven." Or "We all sin in some way." People of faith then find it hard to defend their faith to those not also on a faith journey.

Wouldn't it be great if on our faith journeys we NEVER got sick, er, I mean, sinned? Or what if our failings were so small or insignificant that they were virtually unnoticed as such? Before some of you take that proposition too far, that last question is not the same as keeping a long term and continual sexual sin in the closet as has been revealed in the last month. I'm talking about things like stubbing your toe and saying the wrong thing or getting a little more than miffed at the guy who cut you off on the freeway.

I believe that such a possibility exists for our faith journeys. Getting sick or sinning does not have to be normal or acceptable. I want my faith journey to be characterized by as few setbacks as possible. Honestly, I'm not sure it's all that attractive of an option if there isn't such a possibility.

For those of you new to such thinking, this will raise a lot of questions. Questions on a faith journey are good. Questions like what exactly is sin? How do I avoid it? Is sinlessness really a possibility? Is there more to this than just avoiding sin?

I've got thoughts and answers to all the above. I've even got more questions. What about you? What do YOU think?

Cleanliness anyone?

The other night the missus and I went out on a date. We went to a local comedy club for "Clean Comedy Monday". For $20 a head, you get dinner and a show afterwards. We were quite surprised at the overall demographic of the audience. In the small group of about 30 or so, approximately half were families. The kids there ranged in age from 10 to 15 years old. Another noticeable trait was prayer. We noticed that at least half of the groups prayed before their meal. My wife wasn't surprised. She brushed it off, saying, "Who else would be looking for something advertised as 'Clean Comedy'." She's got a point.

As you walk in, they have a rating posted on the door, similar to what you would find at a movie theater. The show for that night was advertised as rated PG. The headliner for the evening was a master hypnotist. Come to find out, he was the same performer advertised on the club's website for the "X Rated Hypnotism Show." I have no desire to even know what that means.

Honestly, the show was not that great. The people who volunteered to be hypnotized were doubtful in their credibility. After about 30 minutes of listening to this guy talk in his smooth hypnotist voice and snapping his fingers every 5 seconds, he finally ended that portion of the routine. He proceeded to tell a few jokes to end the show. He obviously struggled to keep it clean. You could see him correcting himself split seconds before saying the wrong thing. All his jokes were quite prejudicial or poked fun at disabilities.

Now, if you know me personally, you know I am no prude. You also know that I like to make fun of people with the best of them. This guy was uncomfortably cruel in my opinion. He made jokes about people wearing turbans, advocating violence toward them. Yes, I know. He was only joking. But do we need to make light of violence prompted by hatred? I became disgusted at his imitation of the person with a disability who worked as a Wal-Mart greeter. I don't know. Maybe I'm becoming a stick in the mud and need to loosen up.

Needless to say, we were disappointed as we left the show that night. We had hoped for a fun-filled evening of clean comedy. The comedy aspect was questionable, and while it may have been PG, it didn't feel very clean. At least not dignifying. Which leads me to this thought. Why is it so difficult to be clean?

I think the nature of our society is growing increasingly comfortable with those things that only 20 years ago would have been unthinkable or at least unmentionable. It is not so much that we have become immoral, but amoral. Few things have any moral value associated with them. Cultural diversity has lead to extreme relativism. There are no standards, it seems, to govern what is acceptable.

I'm not just speaking as some ultraconservative Christian who would be obviously concerned with such things. I had a staunch atheist tell me one time that morals were necessary for the functioning of society and in fact good for business. He was a successful management consultant. As he explained, in the same manner he advised his clients, if you want someone's business or desire a business partnership with them, they need to be able to trust you and your moral conduct. Makes a lot sense. The last five or six years have seen the collapse of several big corporations because of the lack of moral conduct.

So, why it is so hard to be clean? Is it from lack of desire? Is it from looking for it in the wrong places? As they say, wrestle with a pig and you both get dirty. But only the pig likes it. Is the lack of clean-ness a result of trying to make chicken salad with . . . well . . . you know?

Our faith journeys can help us with that. Our journeys usually have several washing stations along the way. Sort of like a drive through car wash. If you are looking for clean-ness and can't find it, maybe the journey you are presently on is not the right one. Just a thought.

My Favorite Time of the Year

This week has been amazing in terms of visual pleasure. The leaves in our area have suddenly taken on the beautiful and vibrant hues of fall. I find myself just walking around my own yard, taking in the colors. I wish I was able to take some time lapse photography of it all because it is amazing how fast it happens. Given the opportunity, I really do believe I could sit around for a week or so and just watch the show.

And that's my thought.

I Forgot!

Don't you hate it when you are getting ready to say something, and it's really profound, then you open your mouth to speak and POOF! the thought is gone? The older people in my life tell me I'm way too young to have that problem. Something must be seriously wrong with me then because I've had this problem for a LONNNG time. I sat down to post something this morning and I was really excited about it. As soon as my fingers hit the keyboard, it was gone! How does that happen?!

My children frequently tell me they forgot. "I forgot to fix my bed" "I forgot you told me never to bludgeon or drop kick my brother" "I forgot you told me never to throw rocks at the car or the house" "In the 10 seconds it takes me to walk from the kitchen to the bathroom I forgot you told me to brush my teeth" and so on.

Voters forget all the time. And so do their representatives! Politicians conveniently forget what they promised their constituients they would do in office and the voters forget to hold them accountable for it come election time.

We forget to pick up the drycleaning or the milk on the way home. We forget to pay the credit card bill. While we are in the shower and already 10 minutes late for work we realize we forgot to pick up more shampoo & deodorant and we forgot to do any laundry the night before. How does that happen? Why does our memory become so clear at the moment of crisis, standing there dripping wet with nothing to wash with, nothing to keep us from sweating and smelling, and it not really not being an issue anyway considering we have nothing to wear?

So many times on our faith journeys we forget a lot of important stuff. We conveniently go along with our lives, forgetting what God has done for us. The nation of Israel sure did it a lot. Read the Old Testament. But, as soon as they realized they were out of shampoo or the Assyrian army was knocking on their door, a moment of clarity came to them. Didn't God get us out of this before?

Those of us on a faith journey today are just as guilty as those Israelites. We bee bop along living happily ever after, many times forgetting the big and small things God has done for us along the way. Does it make him love us any less? No. Is that reason crises comes along? Not necessarily. Would life be better if we didn't forget? You betcha.

Some of us haven't forgotten because we never really knew. Some people are still contemplating whether or not to buy a ticket for this journey. Even for those people, I bet if they looked back on their lives, they would find something they could point to and say, "God did it." I'd grab that memory and find out how to make more.

Forgetting can be good if it helps us to remember the next time. Even that can be redeemed. By the way, don't forget to bring home more milk.

A New Look (inside)

First, thanks to those of you who commented on my last post. Second, thanks to those who came back this week to see if I did resume posting. Just a Thought will continue with something new each week (hopefully). Yeah, I know what you are thinking. "Whew! I don't think I could get by without it." I do hope that for someone each week, this blog will provide some insight that the other 55 million and growing blogs do not.

Which brings me to my purpose. I began this blog for two reasons.
1) To encourage those on a journey of Christian faith to go deeper and farther in their journeys. I set for myself the probably impossible goal of having the impact of a 30 minute sermon in the space of a pocket devotional. From the few offline comments I have received, I think I'm on the right track.
2) I want this blog to be a place where someone not on a faith journey can find connections from matters of faith to their own lives. I had all sorts of visions of the cool, relevant topics that I might write about. I think I have missed the mark on the "cool, relevant" part. But I do think that a person searching for faith and meaning can find those connections here.

Another issue was at work within me two weeks ago when I pushed pause on Just a Thought. I was feeling terribly shallow in my understanding of my own faith. I felt inadequate in my knowledge. I felt I had grown complacent about my own spiritual growth for the sake of my growth as a leader and "producer". I believe God directed me into self-diagnostic and repair mode through several different avenues - other blogs I read regularly, discovery of rusty skills and forgotten knowledge when preparing for a particularly theological heavy sermon, and the growing dissatisfaction of just going about the regular routine and not seeing anything new happen.

So, I did something new. I started a new blog last week. It's very different from this one. It's more like a systematic Bible study and theology class. Actually, it's not like that, it is exactly that. It's there to help me keep my mind sharp. I've also opened myself up to further criticism if people much smarter than I ever read it. And it is a place where I will probably be much more introspective. Though it will appear to be more academic, I hope to keep it plain enough that anyone could understand. That shouldn't be too hard, considering the skill level of the author ;-) BTW, if you do check out the new blog, be sure to start at the bottom of the page. I've already got a few posts there.

But what about here? Do I have any thoughts for this space? I sure do. I spent last week writing a bunch and storing them as drafts for when the time is right. For now, let me encourage you to enter your own self-diagnostic mode. Whatever your stage on your faith journey, it's good to just evaluate your progress. Are you satisfied? Is there anything you'd like to change? Any questions you need to tackle or have someone answer for you? If you are still contemplating the leap into a faith journey, look inside and figure out why.

Thanks for coming back. See you next week.

What are your thoughts?

I read this week that the 50 millionth blog appeared this past summer. 175,000 are added every day. The blogosphere doubles in size every six months.

Which got me to thinking. Out of what is now probably close to 55 million blogs, what makes mine so special? Why even bother? I know why I originally started it, but I don't think it is living up to my vision, if you catch my drift. Maybe it's the pressure of feeling like I have to write something powerful and thought provoking every week.

I had hoped there would be more interaction here with whomever reads it. Perhaps that has been low because of the way in which I have written.

I need your help. Please post some kind of comment. I'm begging for attention. Please notice me! Seriously, I would like to know if anybody really reads this. If they do, I'd like to know what they think. I'd like to know what they'd like to read more of. What do you think this blog's purpose should be?

At any rate, "Just a Thought" will go off the air until Oct 30. In the meantime, tell me what you want to find here.

In the words of Walter Cronkite, "Thank you, and Good Night."

What time is it?

Someone's going to accuse me of being lazy because I've not posted anything new this week until Wednesday. But timing is everything. You gotta have time to do it. And you gotta have someething to say. Some weeks I have more to say than I have time. Others I have more time than I have things to say, at least meaningful things to say. Some weeks I have neither. I'll let you decide which kind of week this is.

Timing is everything in many areas of life. Just ask a major league hitter. Or an all-pro quarterback. Or a race car driver. I know a guy who drag races as a hobby. He says that races are lost by THOUSANDTHS of a second. Timing is everything.

Timing is everything in the world of business. Analysts always offer critique on how some corporation released their product too late and lost out to the competition. Anybody remember the tech stock bubble of the late 90's? I know a lot of people who wished they had been given more time.

Timing is everything in a faith journey. Many people don't realize this. I like to think of matters of faith as equivalent to matters of my health. If I wait too long to go to the doctor, things can become worse, much worse. I read the sad account of a woman in her 30's who just refused to go to the doctor until she knew it was too late. I was reading about her funeral.

For those of us on a faith journey, there will be numerous opportunities to speed up or take a turn to unexplored territories. We might debate them, then decide to go for it. But we miss out on some important gains because we got in too late. Sadly, we usually decide to stay on our current course and not take the risk at that time. And time passes as we miss out.

Timing is everything for people not on a faith journey. Things happen in life that point us in the direction of faith, in the direction of God. We wonder if now is the right time. We decide maybe not. Then another opportunity comes along. We wonder if the right time is then. If we choose not, the cycle repeats. Usually.

I think we eventually run out of time. I don't mean that someday we all die so sieze the moment, although that's not a bad idea. I think you can live the remaining 30 years of your life, yet the time has run out on your chance to take a faith journey. I have no hard evidence, but I have enough anecdotal evidence to rival War and Peace in its length. You can only say "No" so many times before people quit asking.

What time is it in your life? What step of faith, if any, is being asked of you?

Painful thinking

Today I received a phone call that disturbed me in many ways. It will take several hours to recover from this call. The caller asked for the singles minister because he had some questions about Christianity. I let him know that I was the only staff person and would be happy to answer his questions. He quickly let me know he was not interested in talking to the pastor of any church.

We did talk for probably about 30 minutes, maybe more. Probably more. I honestly lost track of time. Most of it was about everything that was wrong with the church, especially pastors. I listened to the well-rehearsed and deeply felt opinions of this gentleman regarding the financial racket on which the church is built. I answered his questions about my ministerial experience and background, the grounds for which I left all my other previous ministerial posts, etc. Throughout this conversation, it was clear to me that I would not be changing his mind on anything. In fact, when I agreed to enter this conversation with the caller, I knew it would end with me confirming everything he believed about the church, and especially pastors. And it did. I finally chose to end the conversation and did what he told me I would do in the beginning - I hung up on him.

After hanging up the phone, I waited for an immediate callback, even though I knew it would not come. I had already proved his point. Then because of some things that were said, I spent a considerable amount of time in prayer, trying to clear my mind and settle my emotions. Lest you think I hung up in anger or had to take a chill pill, that was not the case. Without any better way to put it, I was disturbed. Deeply disturbed.

It was clear in the beginning of our conversation that I was talking to someone who had been deeply hurt. He even gave me a count - eight times he had been "burned" by the church and pastors. He did not give me any details and I would not share them with you if he had. I have some guesses as to what may have happened. This much I know. This gentleman was carrying around a significantly sized wound that had turned into a rather ugly scar on his emotions. And that scar was preventing him from actually being able to receive the healing he so desperately wants and needs.

I later determined why I was so disturbed. Underneath all this guy's pain was evil. There was something in his voice that rang out evil. The caller was not evil. Nor do I believe him to be a particulary bad person. But his pain was evil. It was caused by evil. And evil was taking up residence in order to ensure his pain never left and forever kept him crippled.

Why do I tell you this? Because we live in a world where things sometimes go wrong. And they go wrong in the church too. Despite being the Body of Christ, the church itself is made up of fallen creatures who have been redeemed, who are in the process of being made perfect but aren't there yet. That is still no excuse for any of the atrocities that have been perpetrated by the church or its leaders. But is the reality.

Why do I tell you this? Because we live in a world where things sometimes go wrong. And there are a lot of casualties out there. The journey to healing is a faith journey. It is a journey to and with the source of ultimate healing - Jesus Christ.

Some of you may have scar tissue building up right now. For whatever reason, your pain and suffering, in whatever form it has taken, has become so familiar to you that it is easier to hold onto than it is to let go. The pain you know by keeping it is preferable to the pain that might come and you don't know if you try to let go of it and seek healing. My prayer for you is the same as my prayer for the caller - God, I pray that the power of your healing will somehow sink in and penetrate beyond the hurt. God let them find healing.

I don't usually use this space to blatantly "push Jesus" on people. I created it to provide a place for people to find a connection to their own thoughts and experiences. I always hope that connection leads them to Jesus and that they see him as the journey itself. But, if your thoughts today are painful ones, bitter ones, thoughts that keep healing away, I think you should know about some of your options.

Just a thought . . .

Just no thoughts

I have nothing profound this week. I tried to get my wife to be the guest host and write something. "I'm not a writer," was her response. I said, "You don't have to be a writer. You just need to have a thought." She then replied, "I don't think. I'm a mom." I gave up.

I've reinstituted part of my exercise routine. I've begun jogging again. I've even revived my almost 30 year old goal of running a marathon. I made a public statement the other day that I will run a marathon before I turn 40. That gives me a little better than two years to go from an overweight, out of shape desk jockey to a plain old desk jockey.

I forgot how much I like to run. My mind sorta shuts down while I run. Thoughts and ideas run in and out of my head. I'm somehow able to process them without allocating any storage space to them. When I finish my run, those thoughts are all gone. Yet I'm sure that later that day or that week, I will act on the basis of one of those processes.

On most days, I just move along on my faith journey without any great divine revelations or major crises to deal with. My mind is sorta shut down. Lots of thoughts will run in and out of my mind and I can process them from a faith journey perspective. I usually don't make any major conscious decisions regarding my faith and how I interpret the world around me. At least not on a day to day basis. But somehow, as a result of the offline processing, new understandings or affirmations of prior ones get stored in my mind. Then on those days when I do need to make an important decision, interpret an important event, or even deal with a crisis, part of the work is already done. I can summon from mental storage my understanding and belief on the matter, then make that all important decision.

One nice thing about shutting down is getting to just listen. When I'm out jogging, leave the iPod at home and I listen to the bugs, the birds, and even the traffic. Going offline on my faith journey with no particular issue to deal with allows me to just listen to voice of God. The lack of noise from everything else, especially my own thoughts and agenda makes it easier to hear him. I can process his words and put them away for later use.

Maybe having no thoughts is the best way to just have a thought.

What about Faith?

This morning I planned to comment on the movie Glory Road but as I quickly scanned the news headlines when my home page came up, I felt moved to do something different. Today's the 5th anniversary of 9/11. It's something that for the most part I think is "forgotten" by the American public at large. It's more like something we view as a historical event event, akin to Pearl Harbor. We know it happened. We know it was devastating on many levels. We know it deserves recognition every year, but our day to day lives are mostly untouched by it. Those of you who fly on a regular basis or who may work in the industries associated with national security may feel differently. But Average Joe American leads a life untouched.

I'm Average Joe. It was not mentioned in my church yesterday. I'm the pastor so that was an oversight on my part. I even made myself a note last week and posted it in a spot where I would see it on Sunday morning to remind me to acknowledge the effect 9/11 has had on our country and the lives of its victims. Yet in the course of the average Sunday morning service it was forgotten.

My life has been untouched. Until this morning. I had turned on the news to get the weather forecast and I saw a live shot of the many people and officials lined up at the Ground Zero memorial. My oldest son asked me what they were doing. I simply replied that they were commemorating 9/11. He proceeded to ask why. When I asked if he knew what 9/11 was, he knew it had something to do with planes and buildings blowing up. Despite having factual knowledge, he could not comprehend the implication such an event had on our national security or just our sense of feeling safe.

So I stood there, wondering just how deep to go. How much do I share about the reality of 9/11 and shatter my son's feeling of safety in the world around him? How much do I educate him on the reality of bad things happen in the world around us and many times there is not a lot we can do about it? How do I explain the reality of war while trying to provide a proper description on valid uses of it without getting into the minutae of our current political situation and whether it fits into that matrix?

My life has been touched by 9/11 in a way I never imagined. As I stood with my 8 1/2 year old in the living room, I assure you I had more than just one thought. "How do I protect my son?" "My children are growing up too quickly." "What do I really believe about the war in Iraq?" "Why does the world have to be such a scary place sometimes?" are just a few.

Honestly, I'm not sure how to relate this to our faith journeys, which is the real reason for this blog. There are lots of paths I could follow. I could address the problem of evil. I could address the reality of you never know when your life might end, so live each day to its fullest and make sure you are ready to face life after death. Those seem too easy, too simple, too much like pop theology or bumper sticker fodder. Today I am hit with the gut-wrenching reality of real life, led by real flesh and blood, that has real responsibilities in the here and now for not only my own life and ideas, but for the lives and ideas of others. My family is the most important set of others. I have a certain level responsibility for even more - for those people who call me "Pastor". If a faith journey is all I say it is, then it has to apply to THIS reality.

Actually I know to relate it to my faith journey, but not with hard statistical data. I know how the mystical side of me experiences peace I don't always understand. I know that I sometimes possess wisdom that cannot be accounted for on the basis of my knowledge or other experiences. I know that life is sometimes complicated yet it can be fairly easily figured out by following the mostly simple guidance of how to live it found in the ultimate faith journey guide - the Bible.

Sorry for the unusually heavy thoughts this morning. I'm sorry that some of you will be disappointed that I didn't give you a sufficiently explained tie-in. I can only respond to that by saying isn't a faith journey supposed to be about faith? Sometimes we aren't going to have the answers. We're just going to have our lives before us. Just a thought.

If I Had a Hammer

I have a hammer that is of immeasurable value to me. There's nothing particularly fancy about it. Just a standard hammer with a soft rubber like grip of some sort on the handle. It's covered with paint and caulking. The hammer is at least forty years old. It belonged to my great-grandfather, Poppy.

I once thought I had lost that hammer. I nearly instantaneously vomited at the thought. That's how much it means to me. Someone needed to borrow a hammer one time. Luckily they said, "Do you have a hammer I can borrow?" instead of "Can I borrow your hammer?" I was able to answer truthfully and without selfish guilt, "Sorry. I don't have a hammer you can borrow."

I'm not a carpenter. Just your average family handyman. I use that hammer for all my hammering needs. Occasionally I will use one of my kids' hammers if I need something light because of the nature of the job. I once used a hammer in the toolbox I keep in my wife's car for emergencies. It just didn't feel right. I have Poppy's hammer and it works great.

Poppy was a boat builder. He built wooden boats the old fashioned way in his backyard (which was my front yard). He even lost two of his fingers doing it. So the hammer is a sacred relic that connects me to my coastal heritage which has no contemporary manifestation. Sometimes I can hold that hammer and I swear that I can smell the sawdust as Poppy cuts and planes those juniper planks. I smell the paint and varnish used to help keep barnacles from growing on the bottom once the boat was put overboard. I can even smell his sweat and the sweet smell of Red Man on his breath.

Sometimes I hold that hammer and I think of Poppy's celebrity. The big town newspaper from Raleigh, The News & Observer, did a couple of stories on him before he died and his dying vocation of boat building. (I was even in one of those. I'm the cute four year old sitting on the bow of the boat.) He was in a book written by a journalist who traveled down the Intracoastal Waterway by boat. Somehow, this guy ended up on Harkers Island and met Poppy. There was even a picture of him in the NC History textbook used by many of the elementary schools in our state with a caption referring to his use of natural resources. When that book came to the schools back home, it generated quite a buzz.

I think a lot of just who Poppy was. Even though he died thirty-two years ago, there are still quite a few people back home who are old enough to remember him. And every single one of them have nothing but respect and good things to say about Mr. Stacy.

Right after I graduated from college, my father gave me Poppy's hammer. He gave it to me in part because I simply needed a hammer and had no tools to speak of. But he also gave it to me as an exercise of trust. He made me keeper of the flame. I'll never forget his words. They were few and simple. "This is Poppy's hammer. Don't lose it." and that was it. We both knew nothing else need be said.

Last fall I sorted through my deceased father's tools. My boys called him Poppy. My Poppy and their Poppy had a lot of similar character traits. My dad was an civilian aircraft mechanic at a Marine Air Station. I took some old ratchets and sockets and divided them up into two groups. At Christmas, I gave each one of my boys a set. I gave them these simple words. "These were Poppy's. Don't lose them."

Some things are too important to not pass on. Faith, character, and values are at the top of the list. Poppy passed all these along to my father, who passed them to me. Hammers and other tools follow close behind in importance. Arlo Guthrie (no relation, but quite interestingly an appropriate reference) sang, "If I had a hammer, I'd hammer all over this land." Well, I've got a hammer. I intend to use it everywhere I go.

Speak softly and carry no stick

I've relearned an important lesson this week. It's amazing how powerful a soft response (or even no response) to a bitter, angry, outburst can be. This is true whether it be your child, parent, spouse, co-worker, employer, ________ , you fill in the blank. As I was dealing with one such situation this week, I was talking to myself the entire time to not lash back at the other person. During this me, myself, and I conversation, another voice entered in and posed the following question, "What secret hurt do you think is causing the other person's pain?"

WOW! I thought. How easy it is to forget little simple things like that. When I began to try to get inside the other person's head and hear his or her self-talk, it really made a difference in how I viewed the situation. I no longer felt like the target. I realized I was just collateral damage. I no longer felt like a failure in my inability to manage the situation. I began to think of empathetic solutions that would not only promote healing in the other person, but also move us beyond the impasse.

When it was all over, I remembered all the other times this has proven helpful. In fact, someone who witnessed one of this events was impressed and commented on my "excellent leadership." I don't think I would take that assessment too far. I just practiced something real simple and in the end, something real loving.

This isn't a new leadership lesson from the Harvard School of Business gurus. The Book of Proverbs in the Bible, chapter 15 and verse 1, written between 2500 and 3000 years ago, says that a gentle answer turns away wrath. So besides just the interpersonal communication advice, there's another important lesson here. There are actually some important AND relevant things in the Bible. It's not just a book filled with fantastic stories. Of course, I personally believe all those stories are true and that even the most fantastic have relevance to my life. My faith journey is made possible in large part because of it.

So, while I continue to use my Bible to inform all things in my life, I will also try to speak a little softer. Just a Thought.

"Receiving" the Power of Forgiveness

I've written about forgiveness twice here already. Once about giving it and another about whether it's real. However, something hit me like a ton of bricks today. What about the power of RECEIVING forgiveness? On a real superficial level, a lot of us have experienced the relief of receiving only a warning ticket instead of a sure-fire insurance rate raising speeding ticket. Many of us have been caught in one or more lies and eventually forgiven.

I have offended friends, coworkers, family, . . . . . , in one form or another and caused sometimes very deep hurts. In those times where the offended party extended undeserved forgiveness, I remember the emotional release it created in me. I remember the freedom I felt to resume normal relations with that person. And I remember the awareness of grace that had been extended to me.

Today was one of those days for me. I was very graciously forgiven. I knew I would be eventually offered such, but not this soon. I gained a deeper appreciation of just how much that person cared about me. I witnessed and experienced firsthand the sacrifice of one's own feelings for the importance of relationship and the greater power of love. It was a divine thing.

Today's experience reawakened my appreciation for what has been done for me so I could be on a faith journey. My journey, like the journey of many people, is filled with events that moved me gradually in a specific direction. But it has a definite point in time when I said this is the journey I want to be on and I knew I couldn't start until I received forgiveness. I remember the rush of joy, sorrow, relief, and so many other emotions when I realized that I had been loved enough to be forgiven even though I did not deserve it. It was the moving of divine grace on my life.

As I bask in the warmth of this grace-filled day, I am filled with many thoughts. I'm thinking a lot about grace. I'm thinking about how I have received it. I'm thinking about the power it has given me. And I'm realizing how much power I hold in my hands to give to someone else the next time they need some.

Who you are when you don't think anyone's watching

Last week we took our annual summer vacation. We spent a week with Mickey Mouse. We had a blast. It was nice to forget about the real world and chase a few june bugs.

Something very cool happened on Wednesday. I woke up thinking, "Wouldn't it be cool to see someone we know?" I don't know the exact numbers but Disney World gets like a billion visitors a day, literally from all over the world. So the chances were pretty slim. But not slim enough apparently.

I was browsing some overpriced merchandise, trying to help my youngest child spend the money that was burning a hole in his pocket. A young boy, about ten years old came up to me and said, "Aren't you Pastor Matt from the Children's Camp?" I confirmed his suspicion and asked his name. I don't know all the faces but I know almost all the names. As soon as he told me his name, I quickly identified his church and told him to say hi to some adults he would know for me.

As soon as he left, I was reminded of another event from the previous day. While walking to some attraction in the park, someone inserted herself and her daughter into the middle of our group. My youngest was with me, so our pace was naturally slower. I yelled ahead to my wife to say don't let too many people get between us. The woman huffed, made some rude comment about being too slow, and rushed past my wife. I remember thinking, "What a great example!" as I also noticed the shirts representing what I presume to be her church that her entire family was wearing.

It's been said that who we are when no one's watching should be the same when everyone's watching. What about when you don't think anyone's watching? I'm pretty sure more people are watching than we realize at all times. Unless you live alone, someone is always watching. I'm glad that right before that kid came up to me that I was not engaging in some less than honorable behavior.

Two thoughts. We must be mindful how our actions affect the faith journeys of those around us. We've all heard the hypocrite stories. Second, if you are one those watchers who is contemplating a faith journey, don't let the missteps of others discourage you. Keep on the journey that you're being called to. Move on around them if they are going to slow or are temporarily blocking your way, but do so with grace.

Just a thought.

Forgiveness & Hollywood revisited

I'm glad I'm not Mel Gibson. If you were to write his bio right now, you might call it The Crucifixion. You could sell it as a special boxed set with his movie The Passion of the Christ. In fact, a friend of mine even said that Mel is getting raked over the coals because he made that movie.

I just find it interesting how fickle our society is. Two years ago, Barbara Walters couldn't say enough good things about Mel. Now that Mel made some inappropriate comments due to the high levels of alcohol in his system, she wants nothing to do with him. The rest of Hollywood has followed suit. The average guy and gal on the street stands up and cheers, saying, "Down with Mel."

I'm not trying to justify what Mel said or did. Nor is he a close personal friend of mine whom I'm sticking up for. But come on people! How many of us have not said something totally stupid that we knew after the fact was going to cause a lot of ripples? Some have argued that a person in his position and influence should be more careful. True. But Mel Gibson is an actor, not a world leader. Incidentally, where were all these people when Jesse Ventura made his bone-headed statement about people of faith being stupid? He was a governor at the time and he was sober.

I'm starting to rant now, so let me reel myself in and get to the point. At some point, after many stated apologies by both Mel and his spokespeople, the world will forgive him. They'll forget it ever happened until the next time he even thinks about saying something derogatory about anything. Will this be real forgiveness? Or will it be some cheap version that only ensures the cash flow of those involved? Do we even know what real forgiveness is? Just a thought.

settling in - part 2

I began week 5 in my new office yesterday. It looks the same as it did last week. I don't know when I'll get around to unpacking it. Last week I said it was getting to me, hindering my productivity. Now it's just annoying. My fear is that soon I will become immune to its presence and not do anything about it, except maybe in 12 months.

That's the dangerous part about settling in. Sometimes settling in means settling for something less than you desire. That perspective will many times cause you to move backwards away from any of your goals. I can think of times in my faith journey when there was something I needed to correct. I knew it was unhealthy, counter productive, even counter active to anything good about my life. If I put it off long enough, I got so accustomed to it being there that I no longer noticed it. Twelve months would go by and my faith journey would be seriously suffering. If I traced my path backwards, I could pinpoint that unaddressed issue as a marker in time that caused my journey to deviate from the desired and preferred path.

Whatdya do in a case like that? The best thing is to fix it right then. I blew up my car by not addressing the issue right then. $2500 later I'm wishing I had acted a little more quickly. We have to not be embarrassed to let others help us if necessary. I need to get settled in the right way instead of settling for less. My office needs to be unpacked too. Just a Thought.+

Settling in - Part 1

We've been in our new house for three weeks now. It's mostly unpacked. We are at the dreaded 90% point where the house is set up and very livable. There are even a few pics on the wall. But, here and there, in the corner or behind the couch, lie the ever present yet to be unpacked box, waiting for us to decide if the stuff in it is a keeper, and then whether we will actually use it or just store it for another millenium. My office is even worse. After three weeks, I am 30% set up at best. I'm embarrassed for people to come in. I usually meet them at the door and say, "Let's meet in the conference room. I'm not quite unpacked yet."

I have intentionally neglected the office because there are some other matters that I feel need the bulk of my energy and focus right now. Putting books on a shelf and organizing a desk aren't necessarily mission critical activities. But the clutter is getting to me. It's like the steady beat of the Tell Tale Heart, reminding me of my sinful act of neglect. I find it hard to focus appropriately on those activities which ARE mission critical.

Our faith journeys are filled with times of moving. Sometimes they actually involve a physical move, but it is usually a time of change, marked by important decisions. Depending upon the uncertainty of the future or amount of personal change involved, these decisions can often necessitate a lot of follow up decisions or actions to take.

I can think of many times where moves such as this came in my faith journey and I very quickly got to the 90% mark. The last 10% was not as fun and took longer to accomplish, but I did it. I can also testify to times where 30% would be guessing high. And unfortunately, I never got beyond that point. You might even characterize some of those times as moments where I began "repacking" boxes and moving backwards.

In all parts of our life, we have to decide what is important. What are the mission critical elements that merit our time and energy? Our faith journeys are no different. The trick is deciding what those elements are. What things are going to get us closer to our goal, perhaps even further away from where we were? Once we do, we can get to 90% very quickly. Making moves are sometimes hard, but with effort we can get settled in pretty easily.

Incidentally, I tell everyone who asks about our move that this has been by far the easiest move we have ever made. And that includes at least two moves that were simply across town. You wanna know the secret behind why this one has been so easy? It's something you've read before on this blog. We didn't do it alone. We had so many supportive friends, new and old, who helped make it happen. Getting to 90% is a lot easier once you identify the crucial elements AND you get the help of people around you. Just a thought.

Chase the June Bugs

Last week we processed a batch of mixed emotions. My wife's grandfather passed away. He was a retired pastor and a wonderful man. We were obviously grieving at our loss, but we were peaceful at the same time. His suffering was over. And we know that he has reached the end of his faith journey. All the aunts and uncles were with him the moment he somehow found the energy to raise his arms above his head in an act of adoration, breathe three more breaths, and die. At that moment, when his body breathed its last breath, his soul left the fleshly body and arrived at the finish line that he had been racing toward most of his life. Honestly, despite the grief, it's hard not to celebrate at times, knowing the joy that GrandDad now experiences.

On Friday, as we stood in front of the church waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, I watched my youngest son play in the grass. He was chasing june bugs. He did not have a care in the world. He knew the situation and circumstances around him, but it did not stop him from enjoying life. I watched and grew envious of him. How come I seem to be unable to stop and chase june bugs?

I have a tag line that goes out on the bottom of most of my emails. I even had it engraved on my iPod. It says "Give Hope, Love Life, Praise God". I do really well at #1 and #3. My job makes that really easy. But the loving life, at least enjoying it, seems to be a constant struggle. Saturday, I beat myself up for not being able to do so more easily. Less than 24 hours after watching my son chase june bugs, I was ranting and raving, impatiently hurrying the boys to eat something so we could get out the door and not be even more late for an engagement. The whole time I'm doing so, I telling myself, "chase the june bugs". But I couldn't. At least I didn't.

Back in December when I came up with that tag line, I wanted something that communicated my perspective on life. Again, giving hope and praising God were easy. But I also needed to include a growing edge, a point of accountability, something others who know me well could look at and say, "Lighten up" when I need to. It's also a constant reminder to me that I need to work on it. In the middle of giving everyone else hope and enjoying the presence of God while on my faith journey, I need to enjoy life.

A faith journey isn't only about the end. The journey itself is supposed to be fun too. So before I join GrandDad and a lot of family and friends, I need to chase a lot more june bugs. Just a thought.

Unknown Connections

I don't if this is exactly true, but I heard someone say that you can in a crowd ANYWHERE and not be more than 10 people away from a connection to ANY person there. To further explain, I randomly pick a person from a crowd. We begin to talk and share about people we know or are related to. Soon we discover that we have mutual friends/relatives/acquaintances and if we trace the connections between the two of us, there won't be more than 10 people between us. It's an interesting theory to test out if you have the time and patience. I saw it demonstrated once at the conference where I heard it. If I remember correctly, there were 6 connections between the speaker and the randomly chosen contestant.

Last I went to our annual denominational conference for our district of churches. It's filled with the usual boring business and sometimes seemingly purposeless rants. But it can also be an enjoyable to time reconnect with old friends and colleagues you don't get to see on a regular basis. It was at this year's conference that I became acutely aware of the value unknown connections hold for our faith journeys.

Several years ago my family moved to the 'hood to begin an inner city ministry. During our five years there we spent a considerable amount of time networking in the city and throughout our district churches. The basic scenario for our district churches is that we would be invited to come to a church and share about the work we were doing. I never counted heads, but two years after leaving that place of ministry, I am confident there were several hundred people who were regularly praying for us.

There was particular church that I will always remember. It was a small rural church, more than 2 hours drive away. I was invited to come one Sunday night. During that time I shared about our desire to take as many of our neighborhood kids to camp that summer. Most of those kids would not have the basic toiletry items necessary to take for a week. Immediately, a group of women from this church rallied and put together kits for at least twenty kids. These included hand sewn carrying bags, as well as towels and washcloths. To top it off, one of them personally drove these to my home, two hours away.

This church did not stop with a one time material donation. They stayed connected. They sent encouraging emails. They always asked how the people in our neighborhood were doing. And they were crushed two years ago to hear we had a reached a decision to close down our organization.

Last week at our annual conference, I ran into a group of women from that church. I was amazed they were still so interested in that ministry. They really wanted a detailed explanation as to what happened. So, I sat down and shared all the details that went into that difficult decision - the struggles, the hardships, etc. As I shared, I saw my own pain echoed back on their faces.

When I stood to walk away at end of our conversation, I had an "a-ha" moment. A little voice spoke to me and said, "Can you imagine how hard it would have been if those women and many others like them had not been praying for you because I connected them to you?" I began to realize that all of us have people who are part of our faith journeys and we don't realize it. You never really journey alone.

As you reflect on your own journey, no matter where you are on that journey, remember you have unseen guides helping you along. Keep your eyes open because you just might see one.

Making a return on your investments

I just finished up two weeks of camp with first through sixth graders. During week 2, I had a thought about the whole process of camp and everything that happens there. For the four or five of you who read this blog regularly, you know my big issue of the moment is never take a faith journey alone. I usually talk about it from the perspective of what we receive from other people on our journeys. Over a bowl of ice cream with some teens serving as junior counselors, I began to look at the group journey a little differently.

Every year we have adult volunteers who use their vacation time to come and assist a group of children in their faith journeys. Each morning and each evening I get to hear stories of how they have helped a child or a group of children further their relationship with God. These adults are here because they want to invest in the spiritual lives of these children.

My wife and I have been fortunate here lately to hear how we have influenced people. We are preparing for a move to another church. Now that we are leaving, those whom we have influenced are kind enough to let us know how. Last week we had the privilege of expanding our influence. It was not in these exact words, but the basic message given to us by one individual was that we were the role models she hoped she and her future, yet still unknown, husband to be like one day. I cherish each moment like that. It's one of the reasons I exist. Because of my role as camp director, I was given even more opportunities to shape young leaders in training as I attempted to help them realize how God had created them and how they could in turn use their own influence in a postive way.

We all have a different sphere of influence. The people that my wife and I have influenced are different than the people another person might influence. I could never influence the people that the guy down the street can. And we each have a different way of positively impacting people. The important thing is that we wield that influence.

People with money say that in order to make money, you have to spend money. The same can be said for our faith journeys. In order to move along or grow, we must help others move along or grow. Journeying together means helping others, not just getting helped. Just a thought.

Calling Home

Last month I wrote about my father on Mother's Day. I promised to do the same on father's day and write about my mother. Well, I'm gonna keep my promise. The problem is my mother is still living. Well, her being alive is not a problem. That's actually very nice ;-) But I have to be careful what I say because she's still here to react to it ;-)

On this Father's Day, like the last four or five, I woke up at camp. The church camp where we take our kids every summer always begins on Father's Day it seems. While I was lying in the bed for those last few minutes before forcing myself to get up, I thought about all the kids who will be here this week. Some will get homesick. Many more Mom's will get "kid sick". They will worry about their child. They will call. They want their children to call. They want to come out and check on them. Dads don't do that. Only Moms.

I actually began to understand the phenomenon a little better when I thought about my relationship with my wife. There is a bond there that is not easiily broken because we have become one. We are part of each other's flesh. When a child comes into this world, it has to literally separate its flesh from the flesh of its mother. Yet despite being two totally autonomous beings, there is a bond there that is not easily broken.

I remember going on a trip to Washington DC with my class in middle school. Before getting on the bus, my dad told me to call home. I did not want to. I insisted I would be okay and would not need to call home. He looked at me very seriously and said, "Your mother needs you to." I've never forgotten that. Yet I don't much better at calling home enough. Sorry Mom.

So, what about our faith journeys? There is something inside of us that calls out to somebody. Something that leads us to begin or continue our journey. There is someething inside of us that yearns to call home to somebody. It's an urging that is not instinctual nor programmed. It's not a psychological need. It's a reality of having been connected to someone greater than ourselves and now wanting to reconnect.

On this Father's Day, think about the connection you have to your mother. Then give a thought to the connection to the Father on your faith journey. Give him a call. And Mom, I'll try to call this week.

Just a thought

The Long Haul

One of the four people who read my blog reminded me this weekend that I went almost a month without posting. In fact, he just quit checking and assumed I had stopped. I've done the same with a blog that I used to check regularly. I got tired of finding nothing new, so I stopped checking.

Life is like that. At least we live it like that. If something doesn't have some new upgrade or feature often enough, we abandon it. Our children are growing up believing that everything happens in 3-5 minute multimedia segments.

Last night my family played Monopoly. Because our boys are young, we set a time limit. We may have played for an hour. And the game ended up the same way it always does. I came in last because I spent all my money on property. And they were the good properties too. I had all these properties lined up but my oldest son had twice as much net worth in the end because he never spent his money. We talked about the outcome of the game and how my strategy would probably pay off if we played a longer game and I had the chance to enjoy the fruits of my purchases - collecting rent. But my son won because we played the short and sweet version. The strategy needed to be make as much money as you can in as short a time possible.

In my relatively short life, I have noticed that if I just sit back and let things play out, they usually turn out better in the end. Sometimes I am too quick to intervene with plan B. Things in the business world are the same. Think about the fast food resturants out there. Which ones are doing the best? Are they the ones that have stuck to one or two things or the ones who are constantly changing? A few of these resturants change their marketing campaigns every 3-6 months. And when I drive by their establishments, the parking lots are fairly empty. Their competitors right next door who stick with something have a full lot. Hmmm . . .

And yes, you guessed it. Our faith journeys fall into this same trap. We love our journeys in the beginning when it is exciting and new. But then things settle down and it's just enjoy the ride for a while. We wonder if God really is out there somewhere. When no new gadgets or upgrades come along, we begin searching for another way or checking out plan B. We need to look at our faith journeys as investments that need the long haul to mature. There will be short quick turnarounds, but by and large, the long haul is where the money is. And staying on your faith journey will bring the biggest payoff possible. Just a Thought.

Changing my reality?

Well, I've been very disappointed with my reality lately. At least my reality tv. First, Chris Daughtry got voted off American Idol and Taylor Hicks won. Then, Terry Dietz did not win Survivor. IMHO, these guys were the best and should have won.

My "real" reality hasn't been all that great lately either. I was struck by an extended period of introspection while watching the Survivor finale a few weeks back. Everybody who has ever been on that show talks about how they have been changed forever. They will never take things for granted again. They will really appreciate life.

I listened to all these comments and wondered if I would say the same things and if I would really stick to it. I thought about it in the context of my family. I would LOVE to give Survivor a try, but honestly, 40 days away from my family is not appealing to me, especially since there are at least 15 other people who could win the $1 million. If I came home empty-handed in that way, I would be extremely disappointed.

So as I listened, I thought to myself, why do I have to wait until I've been stranded away from civilization for over a month to change my life? Why don't I enjoy life more now? Why don't I focus all the energy on my family like I would like now? Why isn't permanent change possible (if it's possible) without going thru such a crisis?

My life is definitely too busy. I've not posted in almost a month because of it. Four years ago I was crippled emotionally because of job-related stress and burnout. It took several months to recover. I never want to go back there again. About three weeks ago, I recognized the signs of the same thing coming around the corner pretty soon unless I did something about it right then. I took a day off for the first time in months. I knew I needed to change my sleeping, eating, and exercise habits. They haven't. Life just got busier. So whatdya do?

Yes, I typically make spiritual applications to our faith journeys in all my posts. And there certainly are plenty to make with this one. But I'll leave that up to you. Right now I'm going to try to survive my reality so I can hopefully change some of it after the storm has passed.

Just like my Father

Yes, I know, tomorrow is Mother's Day. So why am I writing about my father? Because I like to be non-conformist sometimes. I'm a closet revolutionary. I don't like doing stuff just becuase everyone else does. But that's not why I'm posting.

I'm sitting here in my office burning CD's I promised some kids. As I was writing the title on each one with a Sharpie from my hidden stash, I stopped and thought to myself, "I recognize that handwriting." Before you begin wondering about my mental soundness let me get to the point. It's my dad's handwriting. Frequently when I jot something down, I realize that our handwriting samples would almost be indistinguishable. Especially when I sign my name. What I find so hilarious is that growing up he used to give me so much grief about the neatness (or lack thereof) of my penmanship. Then one day I made him compare the two. He stopped.

How did this happen? To my recollection, there was never a time in my life when my father sat down with me and said, "Here's how you should write . . ." Yet our handwriting is almost the same. It must be some weird genetic thing. I wonder if some biotech company out there could isolate which gene caused this.

There's a bunch of other things in me that I hope are like my father. And I hope I pass them to my boys. I hope that one day there are sitting somewhere and say, "OMIGOSH! I'm just like Dad" and without them realizing they are really like their Poppy. One of them already is in some ways. I'm hoping to break him of that ;-)

In my faith journey, there are people who have influenced me and I hope some of their traits show up in my life. I pray that I can in turn pass those along to others as well. That's why it is so important to never journey alone.

Sorry Mom, but these are my thoughts for tonight. I promise to give you top billing on Father's Day. Just a thought.

The Good Ol' Days

Things have been so hectic lately. I'm at one of those points again where I think the Unabomber might have been right. Forget technology. Forget the fast paced life. Remove yourself from society and live in the woods all alone. Live off the land as best you can and trade with other people only as needed. I'll even give up my iPod.

Of course that's a little extreme. But we have all had days where we wish the phone had never been invented. Nine months ago we decided to turn off our mobile phone. We really didn't need it. We've saved money each month and with the exception of those times when one of us is Wal-Mart and we can't find an item on our list or someone at home wants to add one more thing to the list, we have survived quite well without it.

If you talk to the "old timers", many of them will quickly tell you that the good ol' days weren't always so good. They like having a wash machine instead of a washboard and tub. They like indoor plumbing and electrical lighting. Almost any non-white older person will quickly tell you the good ol' days definitely were not good.

Sometimes I miss the good ol' days when my faith journey was just beginning. I remember the excitement of my new relationship with God. I remember the unexplainable hunger I suddenly developed to read the Bible. I remember the strong "feelings" orientation of my journey in its early days.

Some days I just miss being simple and green in my faith and my responsibility and accountability were relatively low. There are times when I don't want to live up to the expectations of a person in my position and at this point in the journey. Since I'm a guy, I'll use a sports analogy. Did you ever wonder if Michael Jordan ever came home wishing he could go 1 for 26 from the field without it making the headlines the next morning? Not that I consider myself the Michael Jordan of spiritual matters, but I think you get my point.

Despite wanting to go 0 for 12 from the line and not catch any flack, I don't really have a desire to go back to the good ol' days of my faith journey, just like I don't want to go back the first year of my marriage. I am very comfortable in my relationship with my wife. There is an understanding, trust level, and intimacy that only exists because we have been married twelve years. There are many experiences that I would miss on my spiritual journey if not for the intimacy, knowledge, and yes, even responsibility that I have developed over the last twenty years. I think the old timers are right. Just a thought.

Rainy days & Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, etc. get me down

What a dreary day outside. It has been raining since some time last night. It was much needed as our year-to-date totals are way behind and we have been in an official drought since last summer. But isn't there some other way to relieve the drought without the gloomy sky and having to be shut in with 120+ screaming kids?

A woman was in my office today who just recently and unexpectedly lost her mother. The last couple of days have been hard for her. She had been doing fine until she turned the corner at the grocery store and came across a display for Mother's Day cards. I sat and listened so she could process. Just talking helped her bring about her own "relief".

As I drove through the rain a little while ago, my mind ran through its own set of overwhelming thoughts. I too have many things, TOO many things, happening in my life. The very thoughts I wanted to share with the woman above kept coming back to me. If I was not able to handle this time, I would not be going through it. I firmly believe that. I do not think that our circumstances are random nor beyond the governance of any outside force.

I know that three months from now when 95% of the issues and deadlines I know face have passed that I will be stronger and wiser. I know that during this "storm" of activity I will be okay and will get through it. However, just because I know the boat will get to the shore safely does not mean I have to necessarily enjoy the ride. Riding across stormy seas in a little boat is not fun. I've done it enough - both literally and figuratively. Do the journeys that always teach us the most always have to be so trying?

Amazingly, I don't mind. If I could choose, I would turn the wave generator off in this great big pool. But because I know a shore awaits and that I will somehow be better, I'm okay with it. Perhaps it is in the listening to the Navigator that makes the journey bearable and enjoyable. Rainy days and Thursdays don't have to get me down.

Going home

Saturday was a weird day for me. That feeling that hits me every time I go home struck again. We took a few vacation days to spend at my mom's down on the coast. She sold the ol' homestead where we grew up last fall, so things are a lot different now when we visit. At least they were until Saturday.

We drove over to the beach. We didn't do the sand, sun, and surf thing like we usually do. We did the tourist thing and checked out a local historical site, Ft. Macon. The fort is located on the end of the beach and you can see, hear, and smell the surf as it breaks. To get there, I had to drive past all the familiar surf breaks. As we left the fort and drove over the bridge back to the mainland, I looked at my wife and said, "Coming home is always hard. I wish we could live here."

It's odd how that works. There is nothing particularly attractive about the area that draws my soul here. Except for family or access to the ocean and a slower pace of life for people looking to retire or vacation, the usual relocation factors just don't exist here. I was fine until I got a good whiff of that salt air and heard the surf crashing. Like my profile says, my soul yearns for the salt water. I was born and raised in it. It's a huge part of who I am.

My wife knows how big a deal this is for me. We're getting ready to move to a new town and a new church. She saw the struggle on my face as we left the beach Saturday and asked in a very serious tone, "Do you think you've settled for something less?" referring to the move. My reply was no. I know we are heading exactly where we are supposed to be. The physical aspects of my faith journey are leading me to this new town and there are no doubts about it. But I do wonder why my heart aches as it does. It's interesting how the soil (or surf) your roots were originally anchored in still affects you, even if you have planted them elsewhere.

I think our faith journeys operate that way. I am convinced that we embark on faith journeys because there is some sort of homesickness that draws us to our roots. Our faith journeys are really journeys back to our spiritual roots. Like the salmon who instinctively swims back upstream to spawn, we go looking for our spiritual origins. And that leads us to our Creator. I have said it here before and will continue to say that there is something in us that draws us to God.

Not everyone will agree with me. Some would say it is a search for meaning. An atheist would certainly describe his life that way since faith is not a concern for him. While visiting the fort on Saturday, I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said, "May the god of your choosing bless you". That's how some people look at it. Others will say that there is only one god and that any religion you choose will eventually lead you to him. I think we are all on a faith journey, even those who deny the existence of anything beyond this life. I think the search for meaning or even the emptiness that makes you search for something to fill it with is homesickness. It is a beacon calling you home.

Sometimes I dread going home because I know I will want to stay. I like my faith journey most of the time, but I'm looking forward to my end desitination. Just a thought.

Starting Points - The End?

The DaVinci Code (again), the Gospel of Judas, and a bunch of other things have been hitting the headlines lately. For many people, especially those who have grown up in the church, these things have made them a little uneasy. Others who are searching for everything they can learn about matters of faith are fascinated by them. Some of these same folks are resentful that the church has "tried to hide them" from the rest of world because they might cast doubt on the established system of beliefs. One of the blogs I regularly read addresses these issues far more eloquently and completely than I. You can find a link to that post at the end of this one.

I'm not going to try and regurgitate anything in the post mentioned above. I'd like to address what the whole issue has to do with starting points and reaching an end. For Christians, the Bible is supposed to be the starting point of all things faith related. At some point, interpretation is necessary. There are some issues that the Bible does not explicitly address. In order to reach an end, you have to bring in other resources to reach your decision. And voila, you naturally end up with 3,453,618,912 different interpretations, opinions, churches, and denominations.

As people begin to sort out their faith journeys and come across the noncanonical gospels (the ones not included in the Bible), how you interpret those other sources depends upon your starting point. If you are naturally skeptical, you may come to the conclusion that it is a conspiracy to protect a system of power already in place. Or you may see it as another point in the "this is all make-believe" column. Some react to this additional information in another way. They start out with confidence in the system. They believe that these books were excluded for a good reason. These folks may even read the writings themselves. They consult scholars and historians. In the end, they do not change their faith position.

There are a few important streams that should always feed into our faith journeys. You can call them all starting points if you like. Starting out in multiple places at once fits nicely into the way we view the world nowadays anyway. In matters of faith, I think you have to start with the Bible. Along the journey, tradition needs to have some influence. What has been the historical perspective? Not just anecdotal events or blips on the radar, but the general accepted perspective over the course of time. Your personal experience will certainly shape the course of your journey. Along the way, it's not a bad idea to get some help from others. Getting perspectives from the experiences of other people is a good thing. It's always good to walk with others. Tradition, personal experience, and community are the streams that I use to help my journey with the Bible being my starting point.

Regardless of how long you have been journeying, don't get sidetracked by the circus that often surrounds new or different info. Take a good thoughtful look at it. Honestly, the starting point is not as important as the ending point. That's where the prize is. Just a thought.

Here's that link I told you about. It also has a multitude of links that will give you the texts of many of the noncanonical gospels. There's a bunch of other stuff for people who have either already made their mind up or are on the pastoral end of things.

Starting Points - part 3 Miracles

Are miracles for real? It all depends on your starting point. Last week a study by a University of Florida professor states that Jesus walked on ice, not water. His research has not been favorably received by all. I read somewhere that he receives hate email on average every three minutes. Some people of faith applaud studies like this because they say it shows the realistic possibilities of the miracles in the Bible. Others say that such work takes faith out of the equation; you just need to believe. If you could prove it scientifically then it has no faith value.

A former professor of mine explained miracles in this manner one morning. He was referring to the Ten Plagues the Egyptians suffered when Pharaoh refused to let the Israelites go. There have been numerous natural explanations of how that whole sequence of events could have, and probably did, happen. He said there is a difference between a natural event and a miracle. If suddenly, the ground split open and lava and ashes spewed out, covering a set of administrative buildings for some organization, it would be called a natural disaster. However, if the week before, someone publicly stated that these buildings would be destroyed the following week if the administration of that organization did not change some aspect of their behavior, it would be a miracle. That may not be helpful in looking at events from 4000 years ago because we cannot say positively the order of those events. Which came first, the natural disaster or the public condemnation?

Advances in medical science make it hard to believe in miracles. I know of several incidents from Peru that I would constitute as miracles. These involve people with whom I have close personal connections. Some could argue misdiagnosis or equipment failure. The medical personnel involved argue otherwise. What about calling down judgement on some organization? With today's technology, we can come close to predicting such volcanic events like the one above. Remember the Mount St. Helens Watch last year?

I was asked one time to prove to someone that God existed. She said she really wanted to believe in God, but just couldn't. She was brought up in a home where God was vehemently denied. Her starting point of assumptions just would not let her believe, no matter how hard she said she wanted to. We could never get past the starting point. If you want proof of a supernatural being who can do unexplainable things (which she did), at some point you have to accept the inability to explain some of those things. Otherwise you set up a self-contradicting proposition that is impossible to resolve.

So, back to miracles. Are they real or aren't they? What are the starting points that allow us to believe they are? Are they miracles only if we believe them to be or does our belief even matter?