Chase the June Bugs

Last week we processed a batch of mixed emotions. My wife's grandfather passed away. He was a retired pastor and a wonderful man. We were obviously grieving at our loss, but we were peaceful at the same time. His suffering was over. And we know that he has reached the end of his faith journey. All the aunts and uncles were with him the moment he somehow found the energy to raise his arms above his head in an act of adoration, breathe three more breaths, and die. At that moment, when his body breathed its last breath, his soul left the fleshly body and arrived at the finish line that he had been racing toward most of his life. Honestly, despite the grief, it's hard not to celebrate at times, knowing the joy that GrandDad now experiences.

On Friday, as we stood in front of the church waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, I watched my youngest son play in the grass. He was chasing june bugs. He did not have a care in the world. He knew the situation and circumstances around him, but it did not stop him from enjoying life. I watched and grew envious of him. How come I seem to be unable to stop and chase june bugs?

I have a tag line that goes out on the bottom of most of my emails. I even had it engraved on my iPod. It says "Give Hope, Love Life, Praise God". I do really well at #1 and #3. My job makes that really easy. But the loving life, at least enjoying it, seems to be a constant struggle. Saturday, I beat myself up for not being able to do so more easily. Less than 24 hours after watching my son chase june bugs, I was ranting and raving, impatiently hurrying the boys to eat something so we could get out the door and not be even more late for an engagement. The whole time I'm doing so, I telling myself, "chase the june bugs". But I couldn't. At least I didn't.

Back in December when I came up with that tag line, I wanted something that communicated my perspective on life. Again, giving hope and praising God were easy. But I also needed to include a growing edge, a point of accountability, something others who know me well could look at and say, "Lighten up" when I need to. It's also a constant reminder to me that I need to work on it. In the middle of giving everyone else hope and enjoying the presence of God while on my faith journey, I need to enjoy life.

A faith journey isn't only about the end. The journey itself is supposed to be fun too. So before I join GrandDad and a lot of family and friends, I need to chase a lot more june bugs. Just a thought.