Hi, I'm Brett Favre

Last night as I struggled to stay awake during the second half of Packer-Bears football game, I realized something. I'm Brett Favre. No, I'm not having some kind of schizophrenic psychotic episode nor am I developing a dissociative identity disorder, confusing my real identity as the Marlboro Man with that of Brett Favre, starting quaterback of the Green Bay Packers and certain hall of famer. At one point during the game while the announcers were lauding Favre's ability, even at this stage in his career (this is his 17th season), they shared a quote from one of the Bears defensive players. This player had called Favre "an old Tony Romo". Translation - he is too old to be able to do the things he is doing. All the talk the last twelve months about Favre has centered around when he is going to finally retire.

As I listened to the announcers talk about Favre and his career accomplishments, I began to do the math. Brett (we're on a first name basis) and I are about the same age, but he looks WAAYYYY older than I. I looked up his birthdate, and to my surprise, I'm actually 6 months older than he. My age compared to all the famous people in the news lately has garnered much of my attention. When I look at all the hot stars in the music business or in Hollywood, they are all a lot younger than I. A few years ago I had the painful experience of going to the doctor for a checkup and discovering that my doctor was younger than I. When I think about the 2700 years of schooling required for such a position, it really made me feel old.

I know that I really am not all that old. In fact, if not for the peach fuzz I mistakenly call facial hair, I would look more like a college student. But one cannot help but examine one's life, wondering if it has amounted to anything, or if anything is left ahead to do. I've already begun accumulating my list of things I wish I had done. Things like actually listening to all those financial advisors and opening an IRA when I was 22 or serve in the military when I had the chance.

They say that the more you learn the more you realize you don't know. They also say there is no shortcut to wisdom. I have been privileged to meet some men who have pastored for forty-five or more years. We don't listen to those men enough because "they're not in touch with today's world". Maybe they're not. Just because they don't have an iPod though doesn't mean they can't help you navigate through life.

So what does any of this have to do with me thinking I'm Brett Favre? Nothing really. You're just reading the meandering thoughts of a once brilliant mind going dim with age. You are participating in the angst of someone wondering if his life has really mattered up to this point. You are peeking over the shoulder of someone who is feeling a little goofier than usual today and also knows that there is lots of time ahead to do whatever he wants. And you're also being asked to pray for the Carolina Panthers. I really want to return to the Superbowl and live up to all the pre-season hype again.

Just a thought. Now, I challenge you to find some coherent way to comment on these mumblings. This is Brett Favre signing out.

Not Alone part 2

A friend of mine who knows I'm preparing to run a half marathon is working hard to make sure I'm prepared. He's the only person who asks me regularly how my running is going. He keeps volunteering to run with me because he plans to run as well. Problem is this guy is like a machine. He works out all the time. He lies down on the floor while the kids from church all jump up and down on his stomach and he never flinches. He even offered to run at my pace. When he told me what his "slow days" were, I 'bout had a heart attack. If I want to survive to run in November, I need to get in better shape before running with this guy.

Running is one of those things I've always done alone, except when I coached high school cross country. Then I would run with my team. Most of them had no idea how hard I struggled to keep up with the best. Luckily I had the excuse of having to hold back to keep the rear half moving. I really do want to run with my friend because I know that I will get in shape a lot faster with him pushing me. I just worry about surviving the pushing!

My faith journey has always benefitted when I "ran" with someone who was much better than I. I could watch their lives and see how they handle things. I could learn to "do" things like them. I can look back and see how I grew.

There have been times where someone wanted to "run" with me so they could grow in their faithi journeys. It was an honor and privilege to be part of their spiritual growth. I had to be careful not to push them too hard beyond what they were capable of. That is not always easy to determine as a coach. Many times those of us with more experience forget that we had to work ourselves into spiritual shape.

How is your running going? Who do you need to begin training with, either for your benefit or theirs? Just a thought.

Becoming the Marlboro Man - instant version

Last week the family and I took a few days off to go camping in the mountains of NC. We camped at Grandfather Campground, located at the base of Grandfather Mountain. It was another step in becoming the Marlboro Man. I've got photos to prove I'm getting closer to my goal. The boys each caught a 3 pound trout and that night we cooked a portion of it over an open fire.

Of course, there are a few questions as to whether I am actually any closer to my goal. First, my sons are the ones who actually caught the fish. Second, they caught them at a stocked pond. I estimate the baited hooks were in the water less than 30 seconds before a fish grabbed them. In all seriousness, I don't really think I'm instantly Mr. Outdoorsman.

We live in a society where we are accustomed to things happening instantly. We want it and we want it now. We want plug and play computer and home entertainment devices. We want quick dissolve, fast acting medicines. We want to cook all our meals in a microwave and we don't even want to program them. Make sure they have popcorn, baked potato, bread & roll, and instant defrost buttons.

We even want instant progress on our faith journeys. We to avoid any struggle that might benefit us. We want to avoid any of the hard work that faith requires. We want a walk in a rose garden. Yet we grow the most when we have to struggle. It's when you wrestle with those hard questions that your faith journey benefits the most. When I look back at those times when I struggled the most, I see the times of most growth in my life.

I may not have become the Marlboro Man instantly last week, but I did learn a few things. That's important to remember too. You may not be as close to the goal as you would like, but you are probably closer than you were when you started. There are also other benefits. Fresh trout cooked over an open fire sure is good.

Marlboro Man II

I finally bought a backpack. I decided to go to the Army surplus store and buy a used ALICE pack. It has a huge amount a space (enugh room to stow a Bradley tank) and was very inexpensive when compared to all the other new packs I have looked at. Plus, I figured if the military issues these, then they must be of some value.

As a side note, I was struck with some very somber thoughts while searching through the used bin. Many of the packs had small holes that had been patched. You couldn't help but wonder how many of the holes were created by schrapnel or bullets.

Back to the pack. For all the gains that results from buying a large inexpensive pack that is also durable, there are some cons to the purchase. It's not as comfortable as I would like. Keep in mind that I have spent the last few weeks trying on backpacks at various sporting good and outdoor stores. Some of the major selling points of these packs are the comfort features. When you are carrying anywhere from 20 to 35 pounds of gear on your back for possibly 20 or more miles a day, you appreciate the features of padding in the straps and other places in the pack. The military pack that I purchased has minimum padding. And the frame for the pack is one of those "one-size-fits-all" which means "all" but guys like me with a disproportinately long torso.

Yet I purchased it anyway. Here's why. If I'm going to be the Marlboro Man, won't I have to toughen up anyway? And if it is good enough for the men and women who put their lives on the line everyday for my freedom, can't I do them the honor of sharing in their discomfort a little? My "new" used military issue large ALICE pack awaits for my first Marlboro weekend in a few weeks.

Have you ever thought that a faith journey required a little discomfort or suffering along the way? Maybe you haven't, but have you met someone who did? Some folks take it to the extreme. History is full of stories of people who denied themselves everything but basic food (hard bread!), water, and very itchy clothes in their quest for holiness along the route of their faith journeys. Many of them lived in caves and probably went a little crazy due to lack of social contact. Just think Tom Hanks and Wilson the Volleyball.

Others have still denied themselves many of the things we think necessary for normal life, at least here in the US. For them, it is not as much about suffering as it is about avoiding "contamination" (think allergens).

Ask many people what it means to be on a Christian faith journey and they will immediately give you the list of things you can't do. It's almost like a list of the discomforts that must be endured. If I want to be a good Christian, I can't get too happy or comfortable. And for many people, that's why they never consider a faith journey. It's like saying I can't be the Marlboro Man unless I suffer a whole lot.

There are positive and appropriate ways to experience discomfort on your faith journey that actually benefit you. In the two months leading up to Easter, Christians all over the world will enter a period of preparation where many of them will deny themselves something as a means of growing closer to God. It is a type of spiritual discipline. They may fast regularly during that period or refrain from various other activities. The purpose will be to use those times to reflect more on their faith, God, and their journey in general. It's a good practice and people historically have testfied to its effectiveness.

As you go along on your faith journey, there are going to be all sorts of time of discomfort - physical, emotional, and even social. They are part of the process and they do have benefit. Just don't fall into the trap of buying a pack that is intentionally too small, has too little padding, and will never work anyway just to prove your point.

Now, how can I add some extra padding to this frame?

Becoming the Marlboro Man

This is the year I become a real man. Or at least start the process. By "real man" I mean that I become the great outdoorsman. I will be the Marlboro Man (without the cigarette of course!). I will be able to head out into the woods for an indefinite period of time and survive because of my great hunting and wilderness skills. It's a goal that deep down, every man strives for. We all want to be the Marlboro Man.

Because I have lived the easy life for so long where the only hunting I've had to do for my food is to figure out which aisle it's on, my goal is probably quite a ways off. I figured I'd start by equipping myself with everything I'll need. I'm going to start by learning some camping skills. My boys are in Cub Scouts now, so I have to stay ahead of the curve. If you had looked at the presents under our tree this past Christmas, you would have noticed two distinct themes - laser stuff of one sort or another and camping stuff.

I've almost got all the important big equipment I need. The missing piece is something to put it all in. How will I haul it around? As I am wandering through the wilderness, how will I get all of my man-gear where I need it to be? The answer is a backpack. I've been shopping for backpacks. I never realized that buying a backpack could be so complicated. There are all types and styles of backpacks. The biggest hurdle for me is my torso. Eighty percent of my height is in my torso. Of my 6'2" of height, approximately 5 feet is my torso. Yes, I'm really ill-proportioned. And in my shopping, I've discovered that finding a pack for a circus freak like myself is really difficult. At least to stay within my limited budget it is.

So what do you? First I had to purge myself of the dream of looking like the Marlboro Man, trudging up the mountain in that really cool looking pack with all the gear strapped on the outside to see, setting up his really cool looking campsite that looks like it came straight out of scene from Rawhide. As I've done some research, I've discovered that you really don't need a backpack that will hold 300 cubic feet of storage. A lot of the little gadgets that are designed for camping, etc. are really just extra weight you have to haul around and then later wish you did not bring along. The budget thing is still an obstacle though. It's amazing what a backpack costs. And if I admit it to myself, how uncomfortable am I really willing to be? I keep asking myself, "What would the Marlboro Man take along?"

This journey to become more like the Marlboro Man can be compared to our faith journeys to become more like Christ. There are so many questions. How do we get started? Where can we get our answers? Is the goal too high and lofty, more of an ideal than something we will ever really achieve? Will I find that this journey really doesn't fit me, at least the way it seems to fit everyone else? What things do I really need to get me along on this journey to Christlikeness? Is the cost too great to pursue? How uncomfortable am I willing to become on my journey?

These questions need and deserve answers. Maybe in the next few weeks we can answer some of them together. I'd like to know what you think. I'd like to know what questions you think need to be answered. Let me know. Until then, I need to go buy some more flannel shirts.

Just a thought.

Putting it all on the line

Humility has been my watch word and song this week. There are lots of reasons why, but I'm only going to tell you about one. I joined an online writers group this week. If you've read my profile, you know I aspire to publish a speculative fiction novel one day. BTW, "speculative fiction" is a new term I've picked up in the last few weeks. It is essentially sci-fi/fantasy, but that's not important, at least not here, not today.

On this online forum I've joined, aspiring writers can submit the first 13 lines of their work to receive feedback by folks who at least sound like they know what they are talking about. I spent the first week reading all the other stuff that had been submitted and their critiques. Boy, was I intimidated. I could see the reasoning behind every criticism and suggestion AFTER I read every criticism and suggestion. When I compared these submissions to my own work I thought, "I'll never get published."

I swallowed my pride and my nerves this morning and submitted my first thirteen lines. I received two immediate feedbacks, one not so nice. I wonder if I will ever make it. I submitted a revision and am waiting for the wrath to come.

This whole process is a lot like a faith journey. No really, it is. Most of us want to be something greater and we sincerely try. In private, where nobody knows. If we put it all out there where others can see and evaluate it, somebody's gonna eventually give us some corrective and instructive feedback. We don't always want to hear it. Sometimes we become so defeated after receiving it that we stop altogether.

We should see those opportunities as growth opportunities. We should be thankful that someone is willing to help push us along on our faith journeys. We should never give up, retreat, or just hide. That's not a journey - that's a bus stop. Does it require humility? Yes. Does it bring great reward? Yes. Is it worth it? You know the answer.