Speak softly and carry no stick

I've relearned an important lesson this week. It's amazing how powerful a soft response (or even no response) to a bitter, angry, outburst can be. This is true whether it be your child, parent, spouse, co-worker, employer, ________ , you fill in the blank. As I was dealing with one such situation this week, I was talking to myself the entire time to not lash back at the other person. During this me, myself, and I conversation, another voice entered in and posed the following question, "What secret hurt do you think is causing the other person's pain?"

WOW! I thought. How easy it is to forget little simple things like that. When I began to try to get inside the other person's head and hear his or her self-talk, it really made a difference in how I viewed the situation. I no longer felt like the target. I realized I was just collateral damage. I no longer felt like a failure in my inability to manage the situation. I began to think of empathetic solutions that would not only promote healing in the other person, but also move us beyond the impasse.

When it was all over, I remembered all the other times this has proven helpful. In fact, someone who witnessed one of this events was impressed and commented on my "excellent leadership." I don't think I would take that assessment too far. I just practiced something real simple and in the end, something real loving.

This isn't a new leadership lesson from the Harvard School of Business gurus. The Book of Proverbs in the Bible, chapter 15 and verse 1, written between 2500 and 3000 years ago, says that a gentle answer turns away wrath. So besides just the interpersonal communication advice, there's another important lesson here. There are actually some important AND relevant things in the Bible. It's not just a book filled with fantastic stories. Of course, I personally believe all those stories are true and that even the most fantastic have relevance to my life. My faith journey is made possible in large part because of it.

So, while I continue to use my Bible to inform all things in my life, I will also try to speak a little softer. Just a Thought.