Which one is wrong?

For those of you freaked and confused by The Matrix or afraid of anything post-modern, this may not be for you. As I drove to the office this morning, something just didn't feel right. Or look right. I couldn't decide which it was. The temps today are forecasted to be another record-breaking high of 94 degrees (yes that's right - 94!) but the leaves on the trees are all turning beautiful shades of red, yellow, and orange because the days are getting shorter. Which one is right?

I'll admit to being fairly ignorant of the names of all the philosophical schools of thought. I could not tell an existentialist from a Epicurean, though I could tell you what makes them tick after talking to one of them. Today is one of those days that makes you wonder metaphysically what is real - what I see or what I feel? I see fall coming - in the leaves and on the calendar. I feel summer in its prime. Somewhere out there is a school of thought with a name that talks about such questions.

Unlike yesterday's post, this one has a purpose and meaning. Our faith journeys are in many ways directed and interpreted by what makes us tick, by what our perspective on the world around us is. For some, matters of faith and how they serve God are dictated by how they feel. For others, it is determined by what they see. There will be times in life where these two will be stand in stark contrast and lead to very different outcomes. How then does one decide?

What do you do? Which guides you more? How do you choose which way to go? As you ponder these questions, put on a tank top, grab some ice cold lemondae, and go out and enjoy the changing leaves.

Hi, I'm Brett Favre

Last night as I struggled to stay awake during the second half of Packer-Bears football game, I realized something. I'm Brett Favre. No, I'm not having some kind of schizophrenic psychotic episode nor am I developing a dissociative identity disorder, confusing my real identity as the Marlboro Man with that of Brett Favre, starting quaterback of the Green Bay Packers and certain hall of famer. At one point during the game while the announcers were lauding Favre's ability, even at this stage in his career (this is his 17th season), they shared a quote from one of the Bears defensive players. This player had called Favre "an old Tony Romo". Translation - he is too old to be able to do the things he is doing. All the talk the last twelve months about Favre has centered around when he is going to finally retire.

As I listened to the announcers talk about Favre and his career accomplishments, I began to do the math. Brett (we're on a first name basis) and I are about the same age, but he looks WAAYYYY older than I. I looked up his birthdate, and to my surprise, I'm actually 6 months older than he. My age compared to all the famous people in the news lately has garnered much of my attention. When I look at all the hot stars in the music business or in Hollywood, they are all a lot younger than I. A few years ago I had the painful experience of going to the doctor for a checkup and discovering that my doctor was younger than I. When I think about the 2700 years of schooling required for such a position, it really made me feel old.

I know that I really am not all that old. In fact, if not for the peach fuzz I mistakenly call facial hair, I would look more like a college student. But one cannot help but examine one's life, wondering if it has amounted to anything, or if anything is left ahead to do. I've already begun accumulating my list of things I wish I had done. Things like actually listening to all those financial advisors and opening an IRA when I was 22 or serve in the military when I had the chance.

They say that the more you learn the more you realize you don't know. They also say there is no shortcut to wisdom. I have been privileged to meet some men who have pastored for forty-five or more years. We don't listen to those men enough because "they're not in touch with today's world". Maybe they're not. Just because they don't have an iPod though doesn't mean they can't help you navigate through life.

So what does any of this have to do with me thinking I'm Brett Favre? Nothing really. You're just reading the meandering thoughts of a once brilliant mind going dim with age. You are participating in the angst of someone wondering if his life has really mattered up to this point. You are peeking over the shoulder of someone who is feeling a little goofier than usual today and also knows that there is lots of time ahead to do whatever he wants. And you're also being asked to pray for the Carolina Panthers. I really want to return to the Superbowl and live up to all the pre-season hype again.

Just a thought. Now, I challenge you to find some coherent way to comment on these mumblings. This is Brett Favre signing out.

Eight Days a Week

No, this is not a post about the Beatles, though their hit with the same title is nice little sing along (lyrics here). BTW, this was a single release only in the US, but enough about the Fab Four. I've decided I want a new calendar. Contrary to popular belief, the 365 day calendar we so enjoy with its quadrennial leap year is not the only calendar in use today. We may have clocked it "perfectly" in terms of our position relative to the sun and other stars, but some cultures and other parts of nature refuse to abide by such constraints. For instance, I learned yesterday that Muslims utilize a 354 day calendar to mark their religious celebrations. The moon, and many women with it, operate on a 28 day month.

So, I've decided I will start utilizing an eight day week. This will accomplish two things. It will give me an extra day on the weekend and it will give me an extra day each week to think of something to post here, assuming I keep to a regular Monday morning posting schedule. Now the logistics of such a change have to be worked through.

First, I have to decide what I will call my eighth day. I'm thinking about something totally boring and mathematical like Octoday. Or I can go with something more creative and relate it to Roman mythology and call it Neptunesday (after Neptune). That's actually not a bad idea because Neptune is the eighth planet and Octoday makes me think about an octopus which lives in the sea and Neptune was the god of the sea. Okay, Neptunesday it is.

Second, where do I place this eighth day? Do I insert it between Saturday & Sunday OR after Sunday. We still consider Sunday the first day of the week, but when you look at work calendars, at least in western society, many times, Saturday and Sunday are squished together in one block at the end of the week, making Monday the first day on the far left.

Third, how will this affect my interactions with the rest of society? My church expects me to show up on the first day of their old-fashioned seven day week and give a sermon. And what if I want to get a Chick-Fil-A sandwich on Neptunesday, but it just happens to fall on the Sunday of a seven-day week? They'll be closed. Extended family gatherings during the holidays might become an issue too unless they realize how much better the eight day week with Neptunesday really is.

Looks like the world will have to be changed. What do you think? Is it worth the headache? I'm pretty certain that an eight day week won't catch on. Maybe Neptunesday isn't worth the headache, but some things are. Matters of faith and how a faith journey shapes your life certainly are. Even how we do church is worth changing if it means we will grow in our relationships with God and it allows us to connect more people to a faith journey.

What are the things relating to our faith and church in particular that are worth changing, but might create a little havoc initially as you try to coordinate with the old way of doing things?

Did you hear that pt2

Staying with the theme from last week's post, let's talk about the need for an interpreter. When I lived in the inner city, I had a lot of contact with Hispanic immigrants. There was a large population of Hispanic people in my neighborhood. The school where I taught had a lot of Hispanic students. I heard everything they said perfectly fine. I understood very little though. I needed an interpreter. Of course, the more time I spent in these kind of conversations, the more I began to understand. But I never reached a point where I could make it without an interpreter.

Hearing from God is like that. The more you hear from him, the more you are able to understand on your own. However, there are some things you just want to verify that you are understanding correctly. It may be really big decisions. It may be that even though you are 99% positive you have heard correctly, there isn't any peace about the decision. That's where it's good to have an interpreter to consult.In fact, it's good to have several interpreters. Friends you can trust with the details. Friends you can trust to listen to God with you.

I've been using some interpreters myself lately. I'm glad I have them because I don't want to give somebody a big yellow pencil when they are trying to tell me they are having a heart attack.

In the news today

Here's a sample of interesting news that caught my eye today. Some are worthy to ponder, others are just for a good laugh.

God gets sued (be sure to read the whole article)

QB testifies to miracle from God

Meteorite causes sickness

BoSox rookies get hazed (you'll have to wait thru a 15 sec commercial)

Feel free to comment on any of these. Have a great day.

Did you hear that?

I was brushing my teeth this morning when I thought I heard my phone ring. That happens frequently because I use an electric toothbrush. Sometimes when I turn it up to extreme super max high speed with the grinding wheel so I can really polish my molars, it creates a ringing in my ears. I turned off the toothbrush and listened more closely and realized it was just the ringing inside my skull created by the 100,000 rpm motion of the toothbrush head.

By now you've probably heard about the mosquito ringtone you can download for your cell phone. We all know that as we get older certain parts of our body do not function as well. Our ears are two of those parts. The internal parts of our ears become less sensitive to higher frequency noises as we age. Someone has done the research and found out a frequency that teens can hear but adults cannot. I've been to the website above and tested it myself. My kids could indeed hear what I could not.

This morning as I was hearing things I didn't really hear and pondering things I couldn't hear, I began to think about hearing God. Most people are afraid to say, "I heard God speak" for fear of being locked away someplace where you can't hurt anyone. Most of the time it is true that when we "hear" God it is more like a feeling that we know what we are supposed to go and do, say, stop, or whatever. There have been times in my life where I knew what God was saying to me but pretended it was something else because I didn't want to do the thing he said. Those times usually don't end well until you turn it around. Luckily, I eventually turned it around.

There are other times where we misunderstand God or just hear him wrong. On a few occasions, my wife and I have stepped out in faith to do something we just postively knew was something God had told us to do. Halfway through the endeavor it became obvious we needed to turn around or just stop the thing altogether. The question then became, "How did we misunderstand? Will we ever be able to understand and know for sure what we are supposed to do?"

Misunderstanding/mis-hearing will go a long way in making you gun shy in the future. It certainly has for us. So what do you do? One of things you can do is bounce it off your friends who are on the same faith journey as you. Ninety-nine percent of the time they'll be able to help you discern if you are doing the right thing. You can always compare it to things you thought you heard in the past; for example, ask yourself, "Is this something that is out of character for what I know about God?"

Sometimes you just aren't going to know until you step out. When you do, don't worry if you discover that you may have misunderstood. Remain faithful on your journey - that's what he's measuring anyway. Above all else, keep listening because he will speak to you.

Now, I wonder what would happen if I hooked my toothbrush up to my car battery?

Secrets Revealed

Last night I watched a show that revealed all the secrets to how magicians, or more appropriately called illusionists, do their tricks. The Masked Magician revealed the secrets for everything from pulling a rabbit out of a hat to cutting a woman in half to making an elephant disappear. Some of the secrets I had suspected. Others were new.

Here's the disappointing part. Now I won't be able to enjoy myself the next time I see an illusionist perform. I'll know how he does it. It will be like that first holiday you discovered that all its characters were not real (I'm writing in code for all our young readers!). All the mystery will be gone, just like that 7000 pound elephant.

How many of us have become disillusioned on our faith journeys because the mystery was gone? I know some for whom their faith never had any mystery about it and it worked for them. They were strict rationalists. Some have argued people like that have a dead faith, but I would not dare try to judge such a thing in a person's life.

Personally I need some mystery - that's why I'm a mystic. I don't mean mystic as in mixing eastern religious chants and other non-Christian practices and philosophies with my faith. I mean mystic in the sense that I can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit; mystic in the sense that I have peace in the face of adverse circumstances and I can't explain why; mystic in the sense that I know exactly what God is saying to me at that moment.

Which leads me to other thoughts - what would it take to remove the mystery from my faith? Is mystery even an appropriate element in our faith? What do you think? Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go saw one of my kids in half.

Remembering . . .

Last week was filled with one story after another about Princess Di. It was the tenth anniversary of her tragic death. I remember exactly where I was when I found out. I might even be able to remember what I was wearing. I do know I was at church the morning after, attending services at Brick by Brick UMC in Lexington, KY.

It's amazing how things get rooted in your memory. Tragic events have a way of doing that to you. I remember where I was and what I was doing when Elvis died, Reagan was shot, the shuttles Challenger and Columbia exploded, and of course 9/11. Many people from generations before me remember details about Vietnam, Pearl Harbor, and even the stock market crash of 1929.

The media was filled with stories about Princess Di last week. All her good qualities were noted and memorialized. It made me think about how I will be remembered after I'm gone (which I hope is a long time from now). I know that there are some mistakes, poor choices, character flaws, and misunderstandings that some will remember. I hope the majority of what is remembered will be the good things that I have done. People even talk about the good things Nixon did nowadays.

Above all else, I hope that my faith journey is the dominant memory people have of me. I hope that people think of me and say it was obvious that I loved God will all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I hope they say I loved my neighbor as myself.

Of course, fifty years after I'm gone, unless I become really famous for something, there will be very few people who will remember me. That's where it's important to have invested in other people's lives. Someone will remember them one day and if we live in such a way as to inspire them to live their own faith journey so that they are totally committed to God, then in an indirect way, we are remembered. That's all that's really important anyway.

Just a thought.

Random Acts of Friendship

I received a gift last night. It was a brand new, never before used, freshly shipped still in the box beverage glass with the Camel cigarette logo etched beautifully on the side. I was somewhat perplexed at the meaning, so I asked my gift-giving friend the meaning behind his generosity. He explained with a smile that it was a "man's glass". I guess he is equating Joe Camel with The Marlboro Man. My wife and I got a good laugh out of it. We were also advised to tell our children that it was the camel belonging to Moses if asked.

Last week another friend called me from Wal-Mart. He said, "Guess what I'm looking at?" Having absolutely no idea, I gave up. He then said excitedly, "I'm looking at a whole display of Peter Pan peanut butter." I thought to myself, "How cool is that? My friend knows enough about my addictions that he is looking out for me!" I still haven't bought any yet. I'm waiting for the reduced fat stuff to come out. If it doesn't come out soon though I'll buy the full fat stuff.

If there is something major going on in my life - good or bad, I have friends who will call to check up on me and see how I'm doing. Many times this summer I've commented at how good these friends are.

This would be a good time to get real cheesy and start humming "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. The refrain says "Friends are friends forever when the Lord's the Lord of them". I have found that to be true. It really is more than a cheesy song used to illicit tears on the last night of camp or other youth-related retreat thing.

And you already know that friends are important to our faith journeys. Not just for the accountability piece. It's good to just have fun and friends on your journey. I hope you have some to journey with you. Thanks guys for being part of mine.

Hell Revisited

Well, let's hope you aren't really revisiting hell, or have even visited hell the first time. One would think that after going there once you would not choose to go back. In the spirit of my previous post relating to dialog, I feel the need to clarify my thoughts about hell and its place in our journeys. I encourage you to check out the comments here and here before reading any further (or is farther? maybe someone will dialog and help me get it straight which it is).

Hell is something to be avoided, that's for sure. I do not think it is something to avoided in talking about out faith journeys. In Losing or Winning, I reference the rewards of entering into a faith journey. It must also be understood that these rewards are not options. It is not a case of "I don't really want a glorified body and all that. Is there a cheaper package I can get?" There really are only two options - ALL or NOTHING, Heaven or hell.

The second option has to come into play at some point. In What exactly is a faith journey, I reference the fact that sin has us on a path that takes us away from God. What I do not say in that post is where exactly it takes us. Some readers will immediately recognize this and be quick to point it out as a shortcoming. Maybe so. But, I think the discerning reader and the person whom the Holy Spirit may be working with will be able to fill in that blank. It's an obvious question that most will ask, whether aloud or internally.

Timing is everything. For some people, they will understand and respond to the hell option much more quickly and receptively than others. Other people will need to hear about the heaven option first before they can understand the hell option. My issue with the "avoidance of hell" methodology is that is all some ever talk about. It is many times presented as the "You can passively choose hell by not choosing God. Don't worry about the joyful things that come from choosing God. Let's just get you out of the fire."

Just a thought.

Blogging - the good, the bad, and the ugly

As I was sitting around this morning trying my best to avoid doing anything productive because that would require work, I had a few thoughts about blogging. These thoughts are generated in large part as a result of the comments (few as they are) given to some of my posts. In the spirit of a good spaghetti western, let's look at the good, the bad, and the ugly in reverse order.

First the ugly. It can get brutal out there. Some people like to blog so they can rant and rave about all that is not right in the world, rarely providing any solutions but often telling others how wrong they are. Sometimes people like to leave comments on the blogs of others, writing in a tone that is anything but civil, inviting harsh disagreement, battles, and many times taking on the form of personal attacks. I've only been blessed with such a response once or twice, but I know a few guys whose blogs get hit 1000's of times each week and the comments often fall into this category.

Blogging can be bad because unless you want to post a 200 page dissertation, it can be hard to post all your thoughts in their fully explained form. You just post and hope people figure it out. Or, those who don't know you may read your stuff and miss out on the underlying assumptions you as the writer thought were there.

Some of the stuff you find out there is just plain bad. The going joke nowadays is, "I read it on the internet. It must be true." Some people post as satire. Some post really believing what they have written is true, but may be way of base. You might think this blog falls into category, which leads me to what is good about blogging.

Blogging can lead to good dialog. I've enjoyed participating in dialog with people all around the world that was not possible before the advent of our current technical living space. Dialog is good because it provides additional perspectives and even correctives to things. Dialog allows those who miss the underlying assumptions to clarify the confusion. Dialog enables the writer to hit on those omissions from his dissertation when necessary.

Blogging at its ugliest, worst, and best illustrates our faith journeys. We've all encountered those individuals who are extremely hostile to things of faith. At times the world around us makes a faith journey difficult, whether it does so passively or actively. There is also some really bad info out there about our faith journeys. Which is why good dialog is necessary for our faith journeys. We need to see other perspectives. We need to receive and issue correctives. We need to get further clarification on what something means.

How have you experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly on your faith journey?

Losing or winning?

Merv Griffin died this weekend. The late night news began its report on Merv by saying, "Merv Griffin died this weekend, finally losing his battle against prostate cancer." I immediately thought, "Did he really lose?" In the church, we rarely say someone "lost" when they die of some disease. We usually say, "Their battle ended." Why? Despite our grief at having lost a loved one, we believe that person, if on a faith journey, actually wins the greatest prize of all.

Last week I cautioned against using "avoidance of hell" as the primary reason/method by which to encourage someone to begin their faith journey. I still stand by those thoughts. It is true that at some point you have to understand the reality of hell as part of your faith journey, but does it have to be the main thing you understand? What about the benefits of being on a faith journey? What about the fact that in heaven, you are in a place where you receive a new body, just like the one Christ received at his resurrection that will never need repair, never grow old, never suffer aches or pains? What about the reality that in heaven there is no sorrow, no grief, no emotional disorders or mental illness? What about the joy of knowing that you get to be in the actual, physical, and literal presence of the God who created the universe and you get to do so forever? That sounds a lot like winning to me, regardless of how it phrased by the people of this world.

There are lots of other ways to talk about losing and winning on our faith journeys. Maybe that's something for my next set of thoughts. For now, think about what you win on your faith journey.

Is it love?

Monday night, all our cynicism was confirmed. Those of us who are cynics will merely say that reality was confirmed. Thirty year old tennis star Mark Phillipousis chose the 25 year old Amanda over the 48 year old Jen on NBC's The Age of Love. For those of you who haven't heard about the reality show universe that dominates our television screen, this was (another!) show where a good looking, extremely eligible(rich!) bachelor agrees to pick a potential spouse from a group of women he's never met before. Every few days, he has to send one home as he gradually narrows the choices down. It takes approximately four weeks of real world time that is then cut and edited into eight to thirteen weeks of tv. In this version, a group of 40+ year olds were pitted against a group of twenty somethings. Does love really overlook age?

It seems every network has some version of this now. ABC started it all with The Bachelor. The first match up didn't work out, but when they did The Bachelorette, it turned out to be a match made in heaven. I don't remember their names, but the pretty blonde bachelorette picked her dream husband from the group and for over a year, America watched their wedding plans take shape and finally their wedding. I assume they're still together because all my entertainment mags and online subscriptions haven't told me otherwise. Which reminds me, I better renew now so I can keep up with Nicole's pregnancy and receive hourly updates on the rumored trouble in the Bradgelina home. But I digress.

Every one of these shows ends with the jilted and no longer potential paramour crying. Their final words usually go like this, "I know we only had one conversation and it was about the benefits of self-clumping kitty litter, but I KNOW he was the one. Why couldn't he see that we were made for each other? But I love him so much, I just hope he is happy." There are several things about these shows I do not understand. (You, in turn, may not understand why I watch them - I don't. I get the fifteen minute synopsis after the grand finale) First, why would you participate in a modern day harem to find the love of your life? The bachelor or bachelorette that is doing the choosing is basically making out with all the other contestants every chance possible. The second thing I cannot understand is how can you "fall in love" in such a short time and shallow circumstances?

At the end of Monday's finale, Jen, the 48 year old, was of course in tears. I'm paraphrasing here, but she essentially said, "You know, one time I was cyncial like that Matt Guthrie guy. I used to watch these shows and say, 'Give me a break. Those can't be real tears!' But now I know differently. My emotions are real. I know how strongly I feel about Mark right now."

I tried to compare Jen's experience with my own. I fell in love with my wife pretty quickly. We had only been dating about two weeks when I told her, "I think I'm falling in love." We "agreed" that we were working toward marriage in only two months and made it publicly official with a ring after four and a half months. The difference is I had known her for over two years when we started dating. I also did not have to compete with twelve other guys simultaneously, although there is that Christmas party incident before we started dating where I was ready to show some other guy I could whip his butt if necessary for the exclusive rights to her attention.

What do shows like The Age of Love and all its siblings tell us about our society and ourselves? I think it shows how desperate we are for love. I don't mean this as a characterization of the men and women on these shows. I mean it as a commentary on love's absence from our lives. We all, to quote the Foreigner hit from the '80s, "want to know what love is."

Real love is possible and it can change your life. If you're on a faith journey, you will be experience real love. It may not be the syrupy or sentimental kind, but it is a love that will never leave you. Your faith journey is only possible because love won out over our sinfulness. When we journey together properly, we don't just get it from above. We will experience that love through the people around us. You will find yourself giving it as much if not more than you are taking.

Love is a beautiful thing, and yes it is real.

New Link

I've inserted a new link over on the righthand side of the page - Asbury Bloggers Society. I hope they'll include me. Pick me! Pick me!

I think it is the equivalent to the Skull and Bones society at Yale. Except without all the cool things like secret hand shakes, extreme partying, past, present and future presidents, one-world government end time connections and conspiracy theories. There are some interesting posts to be found though.

Feeling the Heat

This week promises to be a scorcher. Temps are forecasted to break 100 in my neck of the woods. All last week they hovered around the triple digit mark. We've been carefully planning our daily activities to avoid the heat of the day whenever possible. Overall the summer hasn't been that bad. I've seen a lot worse. The humidity rose substantially a few weeks ago, but again, this has been a pretty cool summer, no pun intended.

All this heat reminded me of a saying I heard a while back. "It's hot, but Hell's hotter. Don't go there." It was said in jest and yet it was also obvious to anyone listening that the person saying this was giving a half-hearted suggestion to whomever might be listening that eternal damnation in the lake of fire was something to be avoided. I believe this person spoke with all sincerity in his concern for someone's soul. Many of us have been exposed to the sincere efforts of someone (whether a "professionsal" evangelist or just a friend) to scare us into Heaven.

I believe in a literal Hell that fits all the descriptions you would expect a preacher to believe in. However, I'm not sure how effective or even appropriate such an approach is to helping someone see the need to be on a faith journey. There is a time and place where the reality of Hell needs to be discussed. I just don't believe it's at the beginning of the journey.

Lots of people interpret such tactics as intimidation. I've heard countless stories from people very dear to me who feel bitter resentment at such an approach being used on them. They sincerely believed all that was being said to them but something in the approach and forcefulness of the speaker left a bitter taste in their mouths that caused them to turn back later. Some people have galvanized their resistance to Christianity because of it.

Some of the people reading this aren't going to like it. I'm going to be accused of watering down the Gospel. My faith is going to be questioned. That's ok. If you visit here frequently and read the comments of others, you'll know I get hit from both sides of the fence. So for those of you who disagree, be kind and comment appropriately. For all of you, I'd like to hear about your experiences with someone trying to tell you about the need for a faith journey. Was it positive or negative and why? If you said "Yes", why? If you said "No", why? I'll be here looking for a cool spot while I wait.

Relationships anyone?

No, this is not an indication that I am now running an online dating service. But it will give you an idea of where this post is heading. It all started last Wednesday night (cue strumming harps and wavy pictures as we enter memory mode) . . .

The family and I went to see the Durham Bulls play Wednesday night. They're the triple-A affiliate of the major league baseball Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Minor league ball games are always great places to take the family because they really cater to families, providing lots of wholesome, family friendly entertainment. The level of play, at least in Durham, is usually pretty good and the park is just the right size so that there are no bad seats in the place. unless you're in the outfield. I don't care how small the park, if you're in the outfield, it's never a good seat. But I digress.

As the game was beginning, five women and a toddler came and sat two rows ahead of us. My wife and I waited a few minutes, looking for the men to show up. This was afterall a sporting event. Not that women can't enjoy sports, but usually when given a night out, women don't choose the ball park. No men ever showed up. It became clear it was just these ladies, enjoying a night out, even if they had one kid in tow.

At the end of the second inning, another peculiar thing happened. All five got up together and left. Lest you think I'm being chauvinistic or at least stereotypical in my judgments, my wife was the first to say, "I guess they've had enough." I joked and said maybe they had to go to the bathroom. I guess the same rule applies to the concession stand because within minutes, they returned, each with food and drink.

During the slow parts of the game, I watched the women interact. They appeared to be enjoying the game but they appeared to be enjoying one another's company more. Throughout the game, they would switch seats with one another in order to be able to converse with a different person. Guys don't do that. We stay where we are and just shout over the five people between us when we want to speak to the guy on the end. That works for us, so it's ok. Don't judge us ;-)

It's widely talked about that women are better at relationships than men. I'm not ready to agree 100% with the notion that men stink at relationships. We just do it differently. What these women did illustrate and remind me of though was the importance of healthy relationships, however you maintain them. (Healthy is the key word there) When you are on a faith journey it is important to maintain healthy relationships with other people also on a faith journey. That does not mean to restrict those relationship building times to church, Bible study, or some other "spiritual" thing. Going to a ball game, fishing, playing ball, seeing a movie, scrapbooking, sharing a meal. . . anything that gets you doing life together is important and will have immeasurable benefits.

So, anyone up for some relationships?

This stuff is harder than it looks

Last week I was lucky enough to take a few days vacation at the beach with the family. I was also unlucky enough to have leave in the middle due to a conference I had to attend while they stayed for the whole week. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. As a whole, though, the week was pretty restful and I certainly needed that.

On Tuesday the boys and I decided to try our hand at fishing off the pier. They seemed excited about it and it would give me a chance to hone my Marlboro Man skills. We rented a couple of rods, bought some bait, and headed to end of the pier with dreams of bringing home supper that night. My youngest son aspired to catching a killer whale. After about fifteen minutes of sitting there waiting for a bite, the boys started to get bored. I tried to explain that sometimes the biggest part of fishing is waiting. Within twenty minutues, one of them was ready to call it quits. And he did. After forty-five minutes, the other one threw in the towel. They went back to the camper with their mom and I stayed for another hour or so with two rods all to myself.

I came home empty handed. As I looked around me, nobody else was catching any fish either. Well, almost nobody. Two guys behind me kept catching fish. They did not always catch a keeper - one time it was a sting ray. Another time it was a toad fish. Another time it was a ribbon fish (this was kept for bait). But at least they were catching something. I looked at their rods. I looked at their tackle. I looked at the water they were casting into. For the most part, they were not doing anything any different than the other fifty or so people on the pier, yet they were the only ones reeling in fish.

Now, I have to ask the obvious question - Why? Is it because they were indeed smoking Marlboro's? Other people were smoking - maybe they had the wrong brand. That's probably not it. Was there something subtle they knew that the rest of us did not? My brother-in-law works for Hendrick Motorsports. He gave me a tour of the engine department. He explained that cameras are forbidden there because a trained mechanic could look at a casual photo and examine it to discover some trade secrets. All I saw was a bunch of metal being bored, ground, and molded into engine parts. Maybe all this is harder than it looks.

Here comes the real question that I know you are just waiting for. What if our faith journeys are the same? Is a faith journey harder than it looks? Yes and No. When we begin a faith journey, God helps us all along the way to stay on that journey and live for him. At the same time, it's not as simple as baiting a hook and throwing it overboard. There are skills and techniques that we must learn and develop along the way. Things like prayer and Bible reading are the most basic and probably most important. Sometimes they are really easy. Sometimes we have to work at it.

Now I pose a question for you. What part of your faith journey has been harder than it looked? Think about it. For now, I'm going to go see if I can improve my luck with some worms. I hope changing bait will work because I don't want to take up smoking. Just a thought.

Why am I awake?

It's 1:00 am and I'm not asleep. WHY?! I was really tired when I went to bed over 2 hours ago. I even fell asleep pretty quickly. My wife came to bed about an hour later and I woke up enough to roll over. And lie there awake. And roll back over and lie there awake. And then roll back over and lie there awake.

After 20 minutes of this, I decided to get up, check my email and check on some items I have up for sale on ebay (some vintage gen 1 Transformers that have been in storage for 20 years). Lest you think I am violating the principles of last week's post, let me explain. I got up because I know how this works. Unless I am completely exhausted, twenty to forty minutes of sleep will make my body feel likes its completely rested and ready to go. Such is the case tonight. As I type this, my mind is tired, my eyes are itchy & burning, and I hope to sleep soon if the rest of my body will cooperate.

Somewhere in this is a spiritual lesson. Like a lot of things, we want the quickest, shortest, easiest route. Those aren't always the best. I may be able to go on spurts of 30 minute naps, but eventually I will pay the price. OR the lesson may be that I am too impatient and needed to give it more than twenty minutes before giving up. There's truth in that also. OR just maybe there's no lesson at all. I could just be a guy who can't sleep and is filling his time with ramblings about his sleep patterns that nobody else cares about. Maybe there are some things in life where there are no spiritual applications. Those are my random thoughts at 1:12 am in the morning. What are yours?

I'm Back!

It's good to be home. I spent the last two weeks directing camp for 1st thru 6th graders. Click here to see some of the pics. It was a great two weeks being part of the faith journeys of 331 kids, but like I said, it's good to be home. It's good to get some rest.

Rest is an important part of our faith journeys. God didn't take a day off because he ran out of things to do. He modeled something important for us. If we don't rest, we eventually fall apart. I know a college professor at a Christian college who routinely tells his students to go get some sleep when they come to him with spiritual problems. It's amazing how a lack of rest adversely affects our decision making, even in spiritual matters.

On at least two occasions in my life, a lack of rest became a serious issue. In the fall of 2001 I hit the brick wall of burnout from not managing the many items on my plate in a healthy manner. It took several months for me to recover emotionally and spiritually from that time. Two weeks ago, as the first week of camp begin, I was teetering on the brink of going to a similar place. I had been averaging about 4 hours sleep per night over the last six months. What made this time end differently was the presence of friends who cared about me and were willing to take the reins. I gave them the director's hat and left camp for a day. I checked into a hotel and slept til almost noon the following day.

We underestimate the value of rest in anything we do. God wants us at our best, not our worn out, barely hanging on selves. As you journey, take a look at your struggles. Do you need some rest? Who can take the reins for you so you can? Just a thought.

Not Alone part 2

A friend of mine who knows I'm preparing to run a half marathon is working hard to make sure I'm prepared. He's the only person who asks me regularly how my running is going. He keeps volunteering to run with me because he plans to run as well. Problem is this guy is like a machine. He works out all the time. He lies down on the floor while the kids from church all jump up and down on his stomach and he never flinches. He even offered to run at my pace. When he told me what his "slow days" were, I 'bout had a heart attack. If I want to survive to run in November, I need to get in better shape before running with this guy.

Running is one of those things I've always done alone, except when I coached high school cross country. Then I would run with my team. Most of them had no idea how hard I struggled to keep up with the best. Luckily I had the excuse of having to hold back to keep the rear half moving. I really do want to run with my friend because I know that I will get in shape a lot faster with him pushing me. I just worry about surviving the pushing!

My faith journey has always benefitted when I "ran" with someone who was much better than I. I could watch their lives and see how they handle things. I could learn to "do" things like them. I can look back and see how I grew.

There have been times where someone wanted to "run" with me so they could grow in their faithi journeys. It was an honor and privilege to be part of their spiritual growth. I had to be careful not to push them too hard beyond what they were capable of. That is not always easy to determine as a coach. Many times those of us with more experience forget that we had to work ourselves into spiritual shape.

How is your running going? Who do you need to begin training with, either for your benefit or theirs? Just a thought.

I'm Not Alone

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with some people about one of my favorite things in the whole world - peanut butter. I was lamenting the continued absence of my brand of choice - Peter Pan reduced fat crunchy. In fact, there is no Peter Pan to be found of any type. I know I've ranted about this before, but this has got to stop. I need my peanut butter. I haven't found any other brand that I like.

An interesting thing happened. In the small group of about twenty that I was speaking to, several heads began to nod in sympathy, no make that empathy. We all shared our frustration with the long wait we are enduring for the creamy crunchy nectar of heaven made by Peter Pan to return to the shelves. They too had tried other brands and the other brands had come up short. I learned I was not alone. The five or six of us continued to talk off to the side about our woes with regards to our forced abstinence from one of our favorite foods.

It is good to discover you are not alone in your suffering, especially in more serious matters. After suffering through occupational burnout and a near nervous breakdown, I was surprised and relieved to discover just how many of my colleagues had gone through similar experiences. Even though I was well into my recovery at the time, it was encouraging to learn that my experience was somewhat normal. It is always amazing to watch the look on someone's face when they are sharing their troubles and someone else comes along and says, "Me too!"

I've said this before, but it's worth saying a thousand more times, this is one of the reasons you should never journey alone. We need to find others that will journey along the path of faith with us. They will be able to say, "Me too!" when times get hard and their experiences can become learning tools and support for us. We can "pay it forward" by doing the same for someone else down the road. Everyone benefits when they do it together. Just a thought.

Yard Work revisited

This morning I mowed most of my yard. I only mowed most of it because my oldest son is at the age where he wants to start mowing the lawn. Right now it only appears to be cool. I'm sure it won't be long before the coolness wears off this chore. I saved him a small patch on the corner for him to begin practicing his skills with the push mower. Tonight, after supper, he will make his lawn mowing debut. It may even turn out to be the beginning of every boy's first paying job - mowing the neighborhood lawns.

But my son's debut is not what prompted this thought. The last time I mowed, I noticed something about how I felt. I've posted before how I felt about doing yard work - here and then again here and finally here. In that last post I really lamented the lawn mowing chore at our previous house. I don't have those feelings of dread when I mow my current lawn. And I have approximately twice as much lawn now.

The difference is in the equipment. Before, all I had a was 22 inch push mower. Now I am using a big ol' John Deere 48 inch self propelled mower. This is a real man's mower. I bet the Marlboro man uses one of these when he mows his lawn around the campsite. Someone who used to have a lawn maintenance business was kind enough to let me borrow this machine he no longer uses until I can get my own. It's amazing what having the right equipment will do to change your attitude toward a task.

Lots of us are stuck in jobs or situations we hate because we feel ill-equipped for the task at hand. Or we feel like we are expected to do something without the proper tools. Living a faith journey can sometimes be like that. We get intimidated by the perfect ideal set of expectations that seem impossible to fulfill. The good news is that God equips us for the journey. He doesn't want us to hate the yard work. He wants us to enjoy the manly pleasure of a huge piece of yard machinery. Well, maybe not that, but he does want us to enjoy and be successful along the journey. That why he gives us his Holy Spirit.

I'm glad he equips us. I've found myself in situations far bigger than me on lots of occasions. Without his equipment, I don't know what I would have done. Now, if my son can become fully equipped and capable soon . . . .

Can you hear me now?

For the past several weeks, I feel like I've been bombarded with the same message from God. Actually two different messages. I'm one of those people who actually believes I've heard the voice of God. I don't mean in the whisper of the wind or the beauty of a sunset. On a few occasions I'm 99.9999% sure that the audible voice spoken for me alone to hear was God's voice. On the other 3,439,923,653,459 times it was through other means like something I read (the Bible or some other book), a song I heard, the counsel of a friend, the criticism of a detractor, or that deep down feeling in my gut.

The last few weeks the messages have come through the more ordinary means listed above. As a result of the constant bombardment of one message, we have reached a decision as a family to begin actively pursuing the fostering to adopt process. We feel like we are being led to expand our family by welcoming in a child that needs a caring home. The other message is more of a personal message for me alone. I'm still trying to process what action, if any, I'm supposed to take. I'm trying to determine if he is pointing out something that needs correcting and by what means he wants me to take that action.

Listening to God's voice through his many communication channels is one of the most exciting, confusing, and scary activities I know. I am constantly asked how one knows what God wants them to do. I usually fall into my standard spiel that begins with paragraph 1 above. My own experience and the testimonies of many other people confirm that God will actually speak to you and you will recognize his voice through these means.

Sometimes you will hear people sort of jokingly say, "I wish God would speak to me in a burning bush so I'll know for sure." I've wished the same thing. In fact, I was sharing with a friend the other night a decision I've made and I'm 99% sure it's one I should make. Before I sign off on it as 100% sure, I'm waiting for God to tell me it's not. And my words were, "Unless God speaks to me in a burning bush and tells me otherwise, here's what I'm going to do . . ." I feel certain in a few weeks I'll know whether he has been silent or not on the matter.

Along our faith journeys, God guides us and leads us. He talks to us through all the ways listed above and more. There are times when he is speaking and we don't recognize his voice. There are other times when we mistake the voice of ourselves as the voice of God. How have you learned to recognize his voice? How has God been speaking to you? What kinds of things has been telling you?

Tales from Venus & Mars

A series of incidents have raised the subject of gender differences on my radar screen this week. The cover story of Newsweek deals with people who are transgender and the many definitions of that word. I received a comment on my post about The Disappearing Man that at least brought up male-female power interactions. I also finished Fusion Fire, the second book in The Firebird Trilogy by sci-fi wwriter Kathy Tyers. It was the book that created the most thoughts for me.

What spurred so many thoughts is the style of Fusion Fire. I'm sure that I will come under fire for this comment, but it is obvious (at least to me!) that this book was written by a woman. I'm certain that I have read sci-fi written by women before. Yet this is the first time that it was so obvious to me. One thing that gave it away was the romance. Other books have included romance and love affairs. This one had a distinctively different flavor from those other books authored by men.

Actually, this is the second time I've noticed it. A few weeks ago I read Arena by Karen Hancock. The romance was not as strong, but the main character was a woman. The point of view of book was written from a woman character's point of view. Again, it had that "flavor". It did not feel like a man author struggling to pretend to be a woman as he crafted the character. Honestly, it was hard for me to get into Arena or Firebird initially because the point of view felt so distinctly feminine and utterly different from what I usually find in sci-fi. I think when I recognized this, the barriers were finally shattered. I really enjoyed both books.

For those of you who think I'm full of it, I know at least one other person shares my assessment that you can tell the difference between a man's and a woman's writing. Go back and read the article in Newsweek. Read the related article about journalist Christine Daniels. She used to be Mike Penner. In the story you'll read about how he had to learn to do things the way a boy/man would do them because he said it did not come natural. That included writing. He (or she?) claims that just by reading a article he/she can tell you the gender of the author because of his thorough study.

And guess what? I think that men and women do things differently on their faith journeys. In my Disappearing Man post, I hinted at the idea that modern Christianity has somehow been feminized to the point that many men don't feel comfortable in church. Some of it is because church has become touchy-feely. There has been discussion among lots of people smarter than I that even the type of songs we sing in church are a turn off to men. Some have referred to these two factors and a few more as the combined "Jesus is my boyfriend" effect. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how such an atmosphere would turn away many men.

I think it's great that we have been made differently. That's one of the things that makes marriage so wonderful. Hopefully the husband and wife complement each other. I noticed even tonight as we tried to get the boys to bed. The evening had ended kind of rough and the boys were obviously feeling a little hurt emotionally. I could sense that they needed to connect emotionally with us before going to bed. But part of me, either the hurt little boy of my youth still inside of me or the hard nosed man image of society inside of me, wanted to say "Suck it up and go to bed. Tomorrow's a new day and we can all start fresh. Let this memory remind you of what's expected of you." At the same time, I could see my wife, without consciously doing anything, moving more into a nurturing role. Before someone accuses me of withholding love from my children, all emotional connections were made. The point is that at first glance, my wife and I naturally gravitated towards two very different responses.

Back to our faith journeys. There are more than gender differences that play into our faith journeys. Personality differences also dictate our lives. Gender differences are easier to focus on because it lowers the number of groups to just two - male & female. Faith communities need to help BOTH genders journey in the way that is most appropriate to them. Neither set of preferences should be lifted as the ideal or best.

I've got some specific thoughts that deal primarily with men. Since I'm not a woman, I can only speculate on how woman have felt. I'd like to hear from you. What gender differences have you experienced that either helped or hindered your faith journey?

Becoming the Marlboro Man - instant version

Last week the family and I took a few days off to go camping in the mountains of NC. We camped at Grandfather Campground, located at the base of Grandfather Mountain. It was another step in becoming the Marlboro Man. I've got photos to prove I'm getting closer to my goal. The boys each caught a 3 pound trout and that night we cooked a portion of it over an open fire.

Of course, there are a few questions as to whether I am actually any closer to my goal. First, my sons are the ones who actually caught the fish. Second, they caught them at a stocked pond. I estimate the baited hooks were in the water less than 30 seconds before a fish grabbed them. In all seriousness, I don't really think I'm instantly Mr. Outdoorsman.

We live in a society where we are accustomed to things happening instantly. We want it and we want it now. We want plug and play computer and home entertainment devices. We want quick dissolve, fast acting medicines. We want to cook all our meals in a microwave and we don't even want to program them. Make sure they have popcorn, baked potato, bread & roll, and instant defrost buttons.

We even want instant progress on our faith journeys. We to avoid any struggle that might benefit us. We want to avoid any of the hard work that faith requires. We want a walk in a rose garden. Yet we grow the most when we have to struggle. It's when you wrestle with those hard questions that your faith journey benefits the most. When I look back at those times when I struggled the most, I see the times of most growth in my life.

I may not have become the Marlboro Man instantly last week, but I did learn a few things. That's important to remember too. You may not be as close to the goal as you would like, but you are probably closer than you were when you started. There are also other benefits. Fresh trout cooked over an open fire sure is good.

Disappearing Peanut Butter

Remember all the recalled peanut butter due to the salmonella scare back in February? Well, I'm waiting for the peanut butter to come back! The shelves (at least here in NC) have been disappointingly and deplorably void of my favorite substance. When will it be safe to eat again? When will they return the product to the stores? It made me think about all the pet food that has recently been recalled. Will pet owners go months without food for their dogs and cats?

What is taking so long to restock the shelves? Is it the supply pipeline? Is it the cleaning process of the affected equipment? Is it the cooking process? Whatever it is, I never knew that keeping the nation supplied with peanut butter was such a huge venture.

This lack of peanut butter is becoming a real problem for me. When I want a snack, I can't just go to the pantry, grab a jar and eat a couple of tasty spoonfuls. It's forcing me to look for alternatives, not all of which (or ANY of which for that matter) are all that healthy.

In my spiritual journey, I have made similar mistakes. There have been times where I have negelected that which would be healthy for my journey. Things like Bible study, times of prayer, and time together with others on a faith journey. I substituted less healthy things like time together with people not on a faith journey or perhaps even antagonistic towards such an idea. I tried to live on my reserves of healthy eating before without replenishing. It worked for a while, but they eventually gave out.

When I realized my error, I began the turn around. I began to do those things which fostered my faith journey again. What about you? What were the symptoms or signs you needed to get back to healthier ways? How did you turn it around? Of course, it did take a while, just like the peanut butter. It would have been better if it hadn't happen at all. The good news is I returned. Now if only the peanut butter would.

Look Out!

I hit a mailbox Saturday. It really hurt too. I wasn't in a car - I was out jogging. Once you stop laughing, read on to see why. . . .

Here's how it happened. Earlier in the week I discovered when jogging up hill, it helps to not look at the top of the hill. When you focus on the top, it feels like you never get there. It seemed to be more tiring, more discouraging. So, one morning I decided to keep my eyes on the road just ahead of my feet. After conquering the hills with ease this way, I decided this would become standard operation for me, especially as I look ahead to running a half-marathon through the hilly parts of Raleigh this November.

So, Saturday afternoon, I'm out jogging. I didn't really stretch well before heading out. I was already a little tired and hungry before leaving. I'm not sure I'm up for this last hill. But I have my new trusty method to get me over the hump, literally. I've got my head down and I'm powering up the hill. That's when it hit me, or more appropriately, I hit it. I ran right into a mailbox. Apparently, this particular mailbox was a lot closer to the road than all the others because its edge hung over the white line. I made it home with a minor abrasion on my left arm.

Now I'm rethinking this whole strategy. Or I'm at least modifying it some. And you know me, I began to have a few thoughts about how this might be applied to my faith journey. I can think of some leadership applications like balancing the long term and short term perspective. I know somewhere there has to be a faith journey application. I think part of it is you have to look where you are going, or something's going to hit you and try to derail your journey.

I began to think some more and wondered to my self if it was possible to have a long term perspective on my faith journey. Besides heaven, what would that even be? What are the hills and crests we need to be mindful of? What is the short and long term balance of our faith journeys? When do I focus on my feet and when do I focus on the road ahead? What are the unexpecrted obstacles like misplaced mailboxes we need to look out for? What do you think?

I Did It! (again!)

As I was running this morning, slowly and gradually getting my body ready for my half-marathon this November, several thoughts crossed my mind. "Why am I doing this? I'd really rather be in bed." "How far can I go today? How difficult will that last hill be today?" "I have to learn to relax my arms more" "Discipline is a good thing."

The thought about discipline is the important one. Discipline has been on my radar a lot lately. I have a few friends who frequently take stock trading classes. They do a lot of "practice trading" with no money to hone their skills. Their goal is to be able to retire three to five years once they start doing it with real money. One guy commented that it was important he practice because it developed discipline within him that transferred to other areas of his life - even spiritually. He reads his Bible more. He takes his faith journey more seriously.

Another friend one time spoke about the negative aspects of discipline transfer. When he was in high school, his youth pastor was really into weightlifting. The youth pastor used physical fitness as a metaphor for spiritual fitness. It was a good idea. Eventually, it became a legalistic pursuit. "If you are really following God, you will take care of your body and be in peak physical condition" became the underlying message. My friend drifted away from his faith journey for a while. You must learn to avoid those kinds of traps, not mistaking the means for the ends.

The good thing about discipline is it allows you to say "I did it!" Accountability helps with that. Accountability helps you accomplish good things, not just avoid bad things. Everyone likes a feeling of accomplishment, whether it be a clean house, losing 20 pounds, running a marathon, or even reading your Bible.

What are the things you want to accomplish on your faith journey? What type of discipline would help you? How can you implement that discipline? Do you need help in any of these areas? What traps do you need to be wary of? Do you want to be able to say, "I did it!"?

I Did It!

This morning I have a lot of thoughts. Why is it taking so long for Peter Pan peanut butter to return to the shelves? When will the warm spring weather return to stay? Has the onslaught of pollen ended for the season? On a more somber note, I wonder how the students, staff, and parents of Virginia Tech are coping this morning. Some friends and I watched the footage over a lunch meeting yesterday and it certainly changed the tone of our time together. At the risk of sounding generic, my prayers are certainly with them.

But that's not what I want to post. I am one step closer to reaching a personal goal. This morning I registered for the City of Oaks Marathon. Actually, I registered for the half marathon, but I have the option to upgrade at any point between now and Nov 3. Now my goal is to tell everyone I know, not because I want to say, "Hey, look at me - I'm going to run a half-marathon." I'm telling everyone because now if I don't do it, everyone will say, "Hey, I thought you were going to run a half-marathon!" Accountability is everything.

Some people shy away from accountability because they view it as somebody trying to catch them doing something wrong. It certainly has that feel in the public sphere of politics, corporate finances, government, etc. I prefer to see accountability as a means of helping me achieve my goals. That's one of the things that have made programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Weight Watchers so successful - they have accountability built into their systems.

Accountability helps my faith journey. At times in my life when I have experienced particular struggles, I have benefitted from accountability relationships. I had good friends who were there to love and support me. They let me know when I messed up and did not blow it off as
"Okay". They also prayed for me, helped me come up with ways to avoid or overcome my struggle. And I did the same for them. My journey has always been the most exciting and strongest when I have been in an accountability relationship.

How do you feel about accountability? Does it scare you or do you welcome it? Do you have people you could trust to keep you accountable? How do you see it strengthening your faith?

Shifting to Neutral

I'm a little later posting this week than usual. That's partly because I've taken some time off and gone on a mini-vacation with the family. It's also because I haven't had any thoughts. We've been at my mom's for a couple of days. Two or three times I've logged on and stared at the screen. I told my wife I need to post something but I can't. My mind has shifted into neutral and I have none.

That's the good thing about vacation for me. I am very successful at forgetting I have real world adult responsibilities, except of the parenting and husband-ing type. My mind shuts down. So, a-la Jerry Seinfeld, I'm writing about nothing.

I've been trying to relate this thought (or lack of thoughts) to my faith journey. What happens if my faith journey shifts into neutral? Is that even an appropriate description? Because my mind is in neutral, I can't even come up with any more questions, much less answers.

So, I need your help. What do you think? Can we shift our faith journeys into neutral? What are the effects & circumstances surrounding such a shift?

Christ is Risen!

The grave is empty. There are no bones, nor were there ever. Jesus is alive because he did rise from the dead. On this Easter morning, I hope you experience the life-changing power of the resurrection we celebrate today.

The Disappearing Man

SPOILER WARNING! Some of the female readers may be offended by what I'm about to say. Before you read any further, let me say that I am in no way trying to diminish the efforts of the women who have worked so hard with our children, boys AND girls. However, I am continually disturbed by the absence of good men in the lives of our young boys. At this point, you have been warned. Continue reading at your own risk.
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Over the weekend I attended a Cub Scout Camporee with my oldest son. There were over 700 Cub Scouts and 1600 people total at this weekend event. This particular weekend was special because it was also the moment when the oldest group of boys "crossed" over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. It was a very cool and yet solemn occasion. Each scout was greeted by his Cubmaster and the "Chief" of the Order of the Arrow on one side of the bridge. The scout then crossed a bridge where on the other side he was greeted by the Scoutmaster of his new Boy Scout troop. There, the scout was given the insignias and colors of his new standing.

As I watched this ceremony take place I was bothered by what I consider to be a stark inconsistency. I was shocked by how many women hold positions of leadership in an organization whose purpose is to train and empower boys to become capable men. Some of the roles and duties performed by women this weekend appeared to be largely administrative or organizational in nature. From that perspective, one might write this off as affinity differences in genders. Some might say that the women were doing the jobs that the men did not want to do. The guys rather be out in the woods - hunting, camping, starting fires, etc. True, given the chance, most men rather be out acting on their primal urges - myself included.

But that does not explain the number of women who were den leaders - the adults who week in and week out lead the smaller groups of boys, guiding, directing, planning all the activities, and ultimately, modeling "manhood". How are young boys going to understand what it means to be a man if a woman models it? We have several women den leaders in our pack. I'm thankful for their willingness to serve. But I am more disappointed that there are not men to fill those positions.

Church is no different. In many churches, especially smaller churches, there is a desparate need for male leadership. A friend once remarked to me that a single mom began attending his church, hoping to find some stable males who could model what it means to be a man. She had tried Cub Scouts, but all the leaders were women! Problem is, most churches have few men who are willing to work with children. (I'm thankful that in my church, we have good strong men working with ALL our age groups in our children's department. As a father of two sons, I am so thankful for them.)

Veering from the societal implications and problems that the growing percentage of women leadership in Boy Scouts presents, I think we have a bigger problem in the absence of good strong male leadership in the church. We have done something to the notion of what it means to be on a Christian faith journey that has overly feminized it. Is there something about being on a faith journey that naturally has feminine undertones? Is there something about being on a faith journey that naturally repels men but attracts women?

Someone asked me the other day if many people left comments on my blog. I told him that the type of things I write usually generate introspective thoughts, but not necessarily discussion. Please, I'd like to know your thoughts. I'd like to see some discussion on this. Am I barking up the wrong tree or am I getting close to the target? Is this a real problem, and if it is, what do we do about it?

What exactly is a faith journey?

For the last week or so, a reader by the name of Zora has been asking what I mean by "faith journey". Unfortunately, I don't think I've done a good job of answering her questions. I had hoped some others would join the confusion and clear up the mess I was making. Here's a link to the original discussion.

I've decided to answer her last set of questions here in a separate post.

1. What exactly is a faith journey? People who are more familiar with church and church terms would call this "being a Christian". Read the post I've linked to above for some of my particular nuances on the phrase, but here are the important details of what "being a Christian" means from a "faith journey" perspective. When we are born, we are automatically on a journey that takes us away from God. This is a result of original sin - the sin that Adam and Eve committed in the Garden of Eden. We will continue on this journey until we do some about it. We may do good things, be good people, etc. but the reality is that we are moving away from God. The Bible calls it "being dead in our trangsressions". At some point in our lives, we will hopefully realize we are going in the wrong direction and desire to move towards God. We have to acknowledge that the sin that was taking us in the wrong direction can only be counteracted by and removed by the death of Jesus on a cross. The church term for this is "repentance". At this point, our journeys change directions. We are now on a new path, heading towards God.
2. What do you do to stay on this faith journey? After we "repent" and begin our new journey, the Holy Spirit does a few important things. He cleans away the sins from our pasts that happened along the journey that was taking us away from God. He makes us new people who now live for him. There are things I do to help keep me on the journey and to strengthen my faith. They are things like Bible study, prayer, and being part of a community that shares my faith. That means being involved in a church on a macro level. It also means joining some smaller group within that church (like a Sunday School or a small group) on a micro level. The micro level enables you build relationships of mutual encouragement. There are many other spiritual disciplines that can and should be practiced to help us stay on the journey also. Here's a couple of good books on that matter: The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster and With Unveiled Faces by Keith Drury.
3. What do you have faith in? As noted above, it begins with a belief that the only way to have this faith journey is by having faith that the death Jesus died on a cross is the only way to get off a path towards death and onto a path towards life. I have faith that there is a God who relates to us as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I have faith that he really cares about all the little things in my life and provides for my every need - whether it be my material needs or my spiritual needs. I have faith that he will answer my prayers and it will be for my good, even if I don't like or understand it initially.
4. How does prayer help on your faith journey? Prayer is conversation with God. That means I talk AND I listen. If I listen, I will "hear" him speak and know what to do if I'm seeking guidance. But it's like learning to talk to anyone. You don't always understand everything they say in the beginning of the relationship. There are nonverbals, mannerisms, even dialectical issues you have to learn. If you really work on praying regularly and incorporate listening, you will learn to recognize his voice.
5. What types of things do you pray for? Everything! I pray for myself - that I will be a better father, husband, pastor, friend, and yes, even a better Christian. I pray for others in all the same ways. I pray for people to be healed. I pray for wisdom in important decisions. I pray for peace and comfort in times of difficulty. I pray that people who are not on a faith journey will begin one. Sometimes I just spend time praising and thanking God for who he is and what he has done. Other times I just sit and enjoy being in his presence. This is the mystical part that is perhaps the hardest to understand. Here's another book that can help in that area - Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ. It is written by Madame Jeanne Guyon, who was a 17th century Christian mystic. (Christian being the operative term!)

I think this addresses all of Zora's questions and I'm sure will generate more. As always, I would love for some of you to join the discussion.

Have a great day!

Retreating

I've got a couple of thoughts I'd like to share this morning, but I'm refraining so I can get away ASAP. I'm going on a prayer retreat for a couple of days. It's my first chance to use my new backpack as I begin the process of becoming a real man. But the best part will be a couple of days with no distractions so I can just pray. I'll let you know all about when I return.

In the meantime, I encourage you again to take part in this discussion on one of my other posts.

C-ya

Join the conversation

Please join the conversation that's taking place right now on this earlier post Statistics, Schmatistics. Part of the point of this post was to do things in community, so I'm asking the community to help out.

Thanks!

The Life and Times of Agent #4

When life is not extremely busy, there are a couple of shows I like to watch that all involve FBI (or other glamorous government law enforcement types) agents. One of the things I've noticed is that the stars of the show don't need as much protection as the two-bit guy who is still trying to get a break into show biz and is playing the role of Agent #4. For example, whenever there is a raid on some abandoned warehouse where an atomic bomb is suspected to be armed and ready to go off, guarded by fifteen bad guys heavily armed with grenades and large-caliber automatic weapons, Agents #1 - 15 are all decked out in body armor, helmets, face shields, gloves, protective suits, etc. But, the main characters and stars of the show Ace Goodguy, Biff Hero, and Raquel the Ravishing rush in with only a bullet proof vest that says "FBI" on the back and a really cool looking pair of safety glasses that could easily pass for $500 Ray Bans. I guess their star status gives them protection the other agents don't need.

Our faith journeys will be filled with times where it feels like we have to storm a warehouse full of bad guys. Or, more accurately it will feel like a warehouse full of bad guys has stormed us. It helps to have some type of protection to protect against the assault.

You could apply this to your faith journey in two different ways. On the one hand, you could say that the longer you have been on a faith journey, the more able you are to handle the troubles that come along. That's true. You don't need as much armor. You've reached a certain star status. That's NOT true. I'd advise against it. It's a mistake everyone makes, probably many times, in their journeys. The less protection you have, the more likely you are to fall and get injured.

A more appropriate application would be to always dress like Agent #4. Put on the whole suit and every bit of protection. In the book of Ephesians, Paul called this the armor of God. Our attitude should be more like that of a football player. None of the great stars of the game say, "I've been playing long enough that I can wear less equipment since I am so good." To the contrary. Because they have become so good, they know they need MORE protection because the opposing players are going to be trying even harder to take them down. The enemy of your faith journey is going to be working even harder to take you down.

Just in case you need more evidence to convince you, think about all the faith journey "stars" that have fallen from grace. In every case, they didn't wear the whole suit. Now that you have your assignment, go out and do well Agent #4. Just a thought.

Lessons from Winston Churchill and Jimmy V

"Never, never, never give up" is a famous quote by Winston Churchill. "Don't give up. Don't ever give up" is also a famous quote by someone who is probably more well known in this part of the woods - Jim Valvano. This past weekend, the ghost of Jimmy V could be seen at the ACC Tournament as number 10 seed NC State played their way to the championship game against favorite to win University of North Carolina. They played a great first 17 minutes befoe falling apart. With around 11 minutes left to play, they were down by sixteen points.

I ALMOST turned off the game. Nobody really expected State to win. Everyone acknowledged they had played far beyond expectations. Honestly, their bench really was not deep enough to beat someone like Carolina. But, State had beaten this same team earlier in the season. With 9 minutes left to play, the lead was cut to single digits. By the 5 minute mark, it was a game. The Tarheels were clearly concerned they might not win. The Pack was clearly aware they just might. In the end, UNC was crowned tournament champs. They got to cut down the nets. But NC State came away as the winners to many because of the great effort.

"Never give up" is found throughout the Bible. We're told to never stop doing good. We are given assurance that our faith journeys are being continually refined by God. When trouble comes and tries to derail us, we are given encouragement that God will help us through. We are told of the good things that come when we never give up.

Faith journeys are all about never giving up. If we gave up, they would be "faith trips". If we look back on our faith journeys, we will discover times where we did things we never thought possible. There will be moments when we realized our responses even surpassed what others thought we were capable of. At times, we may feel like the 2007 Wolfpack. We don't necessarily win the championship, but we get a lot of credit for our effort. Our championship will come one day however, as long as we never give up.

Board Rooms and Basketball Courts

In my part of the world, basketball rules. In thirty minutes or less, I can travel to the campuses (campi?) of traditional basketball powerhouses UNC, Duke, and NC State. Yes, I know, NC State's powerhouse is more historical than contemporary, but as an alum, I have to have hope! The big news last night was the flagrant foul of Gerald Henderon of Duke that resulted in the bloody nose of Tyler Hansbrough of UNC with only 14 seconds left in the game. I watched the video several times. I really don't think he meant to do it. Henderson will not be able to play in Duke's next game, round 1 of the ACC tournament against NC State (go Pack!). Even if he didn't mean to do it, the referees ruled it was a violation of the flagrant foul rule.

As I turned off the sports news last night, I did one last channel surf before heading to bed. I got to watch Donald Trump fire a couple of folks in the board room of the show The Apprentice. I may have seen three of four episodes total in the six seasons it has been on. The board room is definitely the highlight. As I watched Trump wield his corporate power and mercilessly grill the losing team, I have to admit I was envious for that type of power. In the world of corporate America where the bottom line is the driving force behind decisions, there is no excuse for failure. At least not for Trump. As a guy, I would love to be able to wield that type of decision making power. At least I think I would.

As we go through life on our faith journeys, there are things we really don't mean to do. They are a result of bad habits we have formed over time. I remember having a conversation with someone after church one Sunday. We were still in the church and at times he would get excited. Once or twice he would have a slip of the tongue and say some things we usually avoid saying while in church. He was young in his faith journey and really didn't mean too. These words were part of the habits he had developed over time.

When we slip up, its very easy to become defeated. It is easy to believe that our faith journey has somehow become derailed permanently or that we need to go back to square one. We may believe that God borrows an idea from the Trump toolbox and says, "You're Fired."

Reality is probably closer to the Henderson/Hansbrough incident. He may not have meant to, but the penalty has to be paid. He can return and keep playing like he always did. So, stay in the game. Keep playing. Be glad life isn't like the board room. And Go Pack!

Not what you thought

I saw something the other day I never thought I would see. As I was pulling into the parking lot of a video rental store, I could hear the music blaring from one of the only two other vehicles in the parking lot. It was hard core gangsta rap. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the source. It was coming from the pick up truck beside me. The surprise began when I saw that the only person in the truck was an approximately fifty year old white male. I dropped my videos in the return slot, got in my car to drive away and the surprises kept coming. On the back window of the pickup truck were all the usual adornments - a rebel flag and several NASCAR related decals. I can't remember what they were now, but I know there was a third category of decals of the type usually found on a pick up truck in the rural South.

I'm still trying to reconcile all these conflicting images. I live in an area that is rapidly growing. Most of the economy is driven by the information technology and biomedical fields. People are moving here in droves from all around the country. Several years ago, one of the cities in this area was jokingly (and accurately) referred to as a containment area for relocated yankees. Despite all this, many of the people who live here state with pride their redneck heritage (their words, not mine). Our rap-listening friend fits the bill for this latter group, with the exception of his music of course.

I have enjoyed my own moments of not fitting into someone else's preconceived notions. On more than one occasion, people have been shocked to learn I'm a pastor. It's usually because of my appearance. I don't wear a suit, or even a tie, except on very special occassions. Once I was getting a haircut and all the stylists freaked out about half way through my cut when it became known I was a pastor. "You don't look like a pastor" was their response. "Good" was my response. I then pointed out how differently they treated and talked to me because of this new knowledge. I actually preferred it the other way.

There a lot of preconceived notions about people on a faith journey. They usually don't involve rap of any kind ;-) They do involve a list of do's and don'ts. Or they involve a list of things that will start happening and another list of things that will stop happening. Then the surprise moment comes when we realize that 2/3 of either list turns out to be bogus or yet to be fulfilled. It rocks our world. We don't know how to reconcile the situation. Was all we believed wrong?

Probably. Usually it's wrong because we were focused on the wrong stuff. A faith journey is basically about following God. We tend to add a lot of requirements or expectations of blessings to that. The trick is knowing exactly what it means to follow God. I'd like to hear what you think that means. Think about it and post your thoughts while I go look for that young African-American man driving the pimped out ride while listening to Hank Williams Jr.

Peanut Butter and Salmonella

I've always said that George Washington Carver is my favorite scientist of all times. Besides seeking God's wisdom for everything he did, he is generally given credit for inventing the absolute best food in the world - peanut butter. (Actually George Bayle is recoginized as first person to sell the stuff )I love peanut butter so much that I will sit down with a jar and spoon and eat to my heart's content. I'm pretty picky about my peanut butter though. There is only one brand that I will eat like that - Peter Pan Reduced Fat Crunchy. For those of you wondering, I have received no compensation for this endorsement.

Imagine my dismay last week whenI read about the salmonella contamination in my favorite brand of peanut butter. I quickly emailed the story to my wife who checked all our peanut butter jars. Every jar we had, including the off brand, came from the infected lot. Interesting thing is that we have eaten out of every jar and no one has gotten sick. Since we have consumed a fair amount of the creamy crunchy nectar of heaven already, we are assuming that we have a safe batch to eat. We're going to finish it off anyway.

You are probably wondering how I'm going to relate peanut butter to our faith journeys. First, I do not recommend that any of you go out and buy peanut butter that MAY be infected with salmonella just because I did not seem to be affected. In fact, it may have been reckless and inappropriate for me to even tell you I'm okay doing it. If you have any misgivings about eating potentially lethal peanut butter, you should continue to avoid doing so.

Many times, we set standards of behavior on our lives once we begin a faith journey. Some behaviors are clear, others are not. What is permissible for one person on a faith journey will not be permissible for another. Back in the days of the Apostle Paul, the hot topic of debate was whether to eat meat that had been sacrificed to idols.

These are waters that should be entered into very carefully. If there is something that you are hesitant to do because you don't think it is appropriate, then don't do it. If you think it is appropriate and have a clear conscience that it will not lead you away from God or down a path that eventually takes you to places clearly inappropriate, then go ahead. Either way, people must be careful about their decisions and how they judge people who disagree.

I'm one of those people who believes if it is questionable and causes more controversey than good things, I'm not doing it. But that's me. You have to decide how you want to handle your faith journey. Just remember that the decision is not one you should make alone and on your own counsel. You need to pray, search Scripture, and even ask the others around you on a faith journey.

While you search for those answers, enjoy some peanut butter. That's what I do.

Body Rhythms

My leg is doing some really weird stuff. For no apparent reason, it will go numb. Or, I will get a very warm, almost hot sensation on the outer part of my leg and I can feel it move down my leg and into my foot. I don't mean my whole leg gets warm. I mean I can feel this spot about one inch in diameter of warmness move around. When it gets to my foot, it stops and the bottom of foot just gets hot. The really really weird part is it has been doing this for about three years, but only in late January and February.

When it first began in 2004, I freaked out. I thought I had some sort of blood clot. So did the doctors. Bloodwork was done and appointments with various specialists were scheduled. After an ultrasound ruled out any circulatory problems, they sent me to a neurologist. After sending electrical impulses all through my leg and taking pictures of all sorts, the diagnosis was "Nothing's wrong with you." By the end of March, the weirdness stopped. My physician had no good answer. It was ruled out as stress. Especially since it had stopped.

The stressor that shouldered the blame was the death of my father. He passed away on Feb 27, 2004, only seven weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. Calling those seven weeks stressful is an understatement. It also coincided with drastic change in our ministry appointment. There were many other minor factors involved. When all these things were added together, they equalled one big honkin' ball of stress.

I was satisfied with that answer. Until January 2005. The weirdness in my leg began again. I did not revisit the doctor for more tests. I felt pretty sure my body was reacting to memories and emotional anniversaries. As before, it was gone by March. January 2006 came and so did the weirdness. This past Christmas I wondered aloud to my wife if January 2007 would be a repeat. A few weeks ago it became official. I had my first bout of weirdness. (Well, my first bout of weird leg sensations. Weirdness isn't really new to me.)

I told my wife about it last week. Her first words were, "Is this about your father's death?" I wish I knew. By now I'm fascinated with the process. How does my body and mind work together to create this cycle? Twenty years from now, will I be able to predict the onset of weird leg sensations? Seventy-five years from now, will there be some sort of local tradition that springs up to commemorate this annual occurence, complete with weather predicting myths and the like?

As long as I can be assured there is no real health problem, I'm not worried. I'm assuming it's some type of pyschosomatic response triggered by the emotions of the anniversary of my father's passing. In my faith journey, there are probably similar cycles of high and low times. If I analyze it, I'm sure I can map out the cycle and identify the triggers. If I'm smart enough, I can emotionally manipulate events to avoid the low triggers and maximize the high triggers. Or, it may be hopeless. I may be a prisoner to the cycle. Trying to avoid the low triggers may be like telling someone not to think about hot fudge sundaes. That's ALL they will think about.

Plus, faith journeys are more than emotional events. There is a spiritual element that can act outside of our emotional states. Many times our spiritual response is actually contrary to the norm for the current circumstance. For example, joy in the midst of suffering, love in the face of persecution, etc. But there are things we CAN control and should control. Are there things we know will trigger a downward or reverse trend in our journey? Avoid them. Some cycles should be broken.

I have to also be careful to not write off those low moments as "just part of the cycle." There may be a real spiritual health concern present that I should address. Nor should I take for granted the high moments either. So take the time to assess your rhythm. Meanwhile, I need to walk around and wake up my leg.