Is it love?

Monday night, all our cynicism was confirmed. Those of us who are cynics will merely say that reality was confirmed. Thirty year old tennis star Mark Phillipousis chose the 25 year old Amanda over the 48 year old Jen on NBC's The Age of Love. For those of you who haven't heard about the reality show universe that dominates our television screen, this was (another!) show where a good looking, extremely eligible(rich!) bachelor agrees to pick a potential spouse from a group of women he's never met before. Every few days, he has to send one home as he gradually narrows the choices down. It takes approximately four weeks of real world time that is then cut and edited into eight to thirteen weeks of tv. In this version, a group of 40+ year olds were pitted against a group of twenty somethings. Does love really overlook age?

It seems every network has some version of this now. ABC started it all with The Bachelor. The first match up didn't work out, but when they did The Bachelorette, it turned out to be a match made in heaven. I don't remember their names, but the pretty blonde bachelorette picked her dream husband from the group and for over a year, America watched their wedding plans take shape and finally their wedding. I assume they're still together because all my entertainment mags and online subscriptions haven't told me otherwise. Which reminds me, I better renew now so I can keep up with Nicole's pregnancy and receive hourly updates on the rumored trouble in the Bradgelina home. But I digress.

Every one of these shows ends with the jilted and no longer potential paramour crying. Their final words usually go like this, "I know we only had one conversation and it was about the benefits of self-clumping kitty litter, but I KNOW he was the one. Why couldn't he see that we were made for each other? But I love him so much, I just hope he is happy." There are several things about these shows I do not understand. (You, in turn, may not understand why I watch them - I don't. I get the fifteen minute synopsis after the grand finale) First, why would you participate in a modern day harem to find the love of your life? The bachelor or bachelorette that is doing the choosing is basically making out with all the other contestants every chance possible. The second thing I cannot understand is how can you "fall in love" in such a short time and shallow circumstances?

At the end of Monday's finale, Jen, the 48 year old, was of course in tears. I'm paraphrasing here, but she essentially said, "You know, one time I was cyncial like that Matt Guthrie guy. I used to watch these shows and say, 'Give me a break. Those can't be real tears!' But now I know differently. My emotions are real. I know how strongly I feel about Mark right now."

I tried to compare Jen's experience with my own. I fell in love with my wife pretty quickly. We had only been dating about two weeks when I told her, "I think I'm falling in love." We "agreed" that we were working toward marriage in only two months and made it publicly official with a ring after four and a half months. The difference is I had known her for over two years when we started dating. I also did not have to compete with twelve other guys simultaneously, although there is that Christmas party incident before we started dating where I was ready to show some other guy I could whip his butt if necessary for the exclusive rights to her attention.

What do shows like The Age of Love and all its siblings tell us about our society and ourselves? I think it shows how desperate we are for love. I don't mean this as a characterization of the men and women on these shows. I mean it as a commentary on love's absence from our lives. We all, to quote the Foreigner hit from the '80s, "want to know what love is."

Real love is possible and it can change your life. If you're on a faith journey, you will be experience real love. It may not be the syrupy or sentimental kind, but it is a love that will never leave you. Your faith journey is only possible because love won out over our sinfulness. When we journey together properly, we don't just get it from above. We will experience that love through the people around us. You will find yourself giving it as much if not more than you are taking.

Love is a beautiful thing, and yes it is real.