The Not-So-Harsh Reality of Losing

Scan the television listings and you find 3 basic types of shows on the airwaves nowadays - karaoke gameshows, crime dramas, and reality tv. Several weeks ago while channel surfing in order to forcefully shut down all higher brain functioning for the day, I came across the reality tv show The Biggest Loser. The premise of the show is that between 15 to 20 extremely obese people compete to see who can lose the most weight. They are put into teams, given coaches and physical and dietary training. To make it exciting tv, they have to face challenges each week to make the process a little difficult and to also earn rewards. The show ends with the weigh-in. Each contestant steps on the scales to measure their weight change. The team that loses the lowest percentage of weight has to vote off one of their teammates, true to reality tv gaming.

I've never watched an entire episode of this show. I do, however, try to catch the weigh-in and voting at the end. They always show a picture of the person voted off today, compared to when they first came to the Biggest Loser complex. It's amazing the transformation each person has gone through.

Here's what I like about what little I've seen of the show. Unlike other reality tv game shows, the purpose of the game is to actually help someone out. You still have tempers flaring and interpersonal conflicts, but overall, the atmosphere is generally encouraging. These individuals have been selected because of their need to lose weight and their need for a better support system in order to do so. When it comes time for voting, there are genuine tears, unlike those found on those matchmaking shows. The rationale almost always given by the team as they explain the reason behind their vote is, "This person is strong and can make it happen when he/she gets home." It's like they do not want to put anyone in a situation where he/she won't succeed, despite how it might drag the team down.

Every time I have watched this happen, I have been amazed. I have been convicted. I have turned off the show wishing reality was actually like this, especially in the church. When you are on a faith journey, you want to be surrounded by people like this. Find a place where people can help you along your journey.

When you are on a faith journey, you also want to be that kind of support to others. You have a responsibility to help others on their journey. That's part of what Jesus meant when he said we had to lose our life to gain it. It's also what Paul meant when he said to look out for each other instead of looking out for ourselves. Losing doesn't sound so bad.

Just a thought.

change of thoughts

This morning I was going to write about marathons, Star Wars, and possibly misplaced squirrels. But something better came along. Together over breakfast, our family read the story about Paul at Athens. His description of what the Athenians called the "Unknown God" and who he knew to be the One true God really touched me. Here it is:

The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and
earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human
hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and
breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they
should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the
exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and
perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of
us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' Acts 17:24-28

Have a great day. I pray you come to know this God if you don't already.

Deep Fried Fun

Yesterday my family and I were blessed through the benevolence of someone to enjoy the state fair. For reasons I do not completely understand, nor care to, this year's theme is "Seriously Twisted Fun". I think it involves corporate sponsorship with Subway and a few other marketing ploys. I think the theme should have been "Everything Deep Fried".

Everyone knows about funnel cakes and elephant ears, at least I'm assuming you do. For you international readers, these are basically pieces of dough, deep fat fried and then sprinkled with powdered sugar, cinnamon, fruit toppings, and or chocolate. Pardon my grammar as I speak in the language of the common man, but who don't want some of that? Funnel cake is some good eating though I myself have not had one in thirteen years. My last funnel cake experience was at a county fair and ended with a not so happy stomach. I stood in line for one yesterday and though I wanted one very badly, I found an excuse at the last moment to forego this culinary delight.

Some of you may have heard about how you can now buy deep fried candy bars. Everyone who buys one says they are wonderful, but honestly, are they really? This year saw the addition of the following items to the deep fried menu - Oreos, Twinkies, PB&J sandwiches, and even Coke. Yes folks, they are now deep frying Coke at the State fair. I was unable to get a demostration or sampling of this new phenomenon, so I have little to share with you other than its existence.

Now you know what I mean when I say the theme should be "Everything Deep Fried". I joked with some people in my church that next year we need to host a booth at the fair and sell something deep fried. I don't think it really matters what it is - people will buy it and eat it. Perhaps we can combine two other fair favorites and begin selling deep fried cotton candy and deep fried candy apples. Let's go all the way and deep fry those guys who try to guess your weight or age. Who wants a deep fried teddy bear for knocking over the milk bottles? How about a ride in the world's largest deep fryer?

Two questions come to mind as I ponder this deep frying craze. First, have you notice the conspicously absent word in that phrase "deep fried"? What's it deep fried in? Ten years ago we would have said "deep fat fried" but the health consciousness of society cannot tolerate that three letter word to be used anymore, despite what type of fat it may or may not be. Don't forget that KFC used to be "Kentucky Fried Chicken" not too long ago. Did they think we would forget it was fried if we didn't say it?

My second thought is actually more relevant to the purpose of this post. (and you thought there wasn't one!) Again I ask, is it really that good? I've never tasted one, but can a deep FAT fried Snickers bar be an improvement on the original or have we bought into the group consciousness and/or peer pressure and said, "Omigosh! This is so awesome. You have to try this." while simultaneously ignoring our other consciousness that says "deep FAT frying is bad"?

Now for the spiritual application (drumroll please) - How often do we see similar situations played out in the church? How many times do we go with the flow despite how wrong it may be or counterproductive it might be, but we continue course because the group consciousness says it's ok? Or how about those times when we refuse to go along with the group consciousness but we should be? How do you tell the difference in those situations? How often do we practice state fair theology that says its okay to go against what we believe is right in normal circumstances because we only do so once a year?

I could give you lots of answers but no one wants to spend 45 minutes reading anybody's blog, at least not mine. However, I bet you have some good answers that others might want to read. What are they? I'll be anxiously awaiting them while taking some more Tums and refilling the fryer.

Hope and Holes

Last night filled me with a little more hope for the future of our society. The kids and I watched Kid Nation. For those of you unfamiliar with this show, it's reality tv involving kids. Forty kids between the ages of 8 and 15 have been dropped off in a ghost town out west and they have to make society work. They have a town council, division of labor, etc. They do all the work.

Last night's episode dealt with matters of faith. Through cunning editing, we got to see kids from all different faiths argue about whose faith was best. The town council was given instruction to make time during the day for faith observances and a time of rest. They were given the option of either planning one service of the "one size fits all" type or organizing several different services. When the town council decided to "force" everyone to attend one service in order to learn about the faith of others, there was rebellion. More arguments ensued. No one attended the scheduled service.

However, later that night, right before lights out, a couple of kids organized a prayer vigil on their own. They went around inviting kids to gather around the fire for prayer if they wanted to, no pressure. An amazing thing happened. Due to camera angles, it was hard to see how many actually attended, but there seemed to be a lot of kids - Christian, Jew, Hindu, and even self-proclaimed atheists. The scene was so moving that one 12 year old boy broke down into tears at the expression of unity.

Things got more interesting the next day. At the regularly scheduled challenge that determines the social class of each group of kids there is also a chance to earn a town reward. Last night the choices were a mini-golf course to provide some entertainment OR a set of holy books - the Bible, the Torah, the Koran, etc. Much to my surprise, the kids overwhelmingly chose the set of holy books.

Several thoughts come to mind. I value diversity and try to be intentional about incorporating it. So did these kids but they resisted a politically correct attempt to force it on them. Good for them! They proved when given the chance, they would actually reach out to those around them in respect and genuine interest, as proven by the prayer around the fire.

I'm still trying to process the choice of the holy books over the mini-golf. It's hard to judge how much the books were actually read because we don't get to see everything that happens, only what the producers allow. Yet, we saw all the kids taking some kind of interest in the books. At different times thru the day, a group of kids could be seen taking time to read them. Deep down I want to believe that what we witnessed despite all the careful editing is an attempt to fill what has been called the "God-shaped hole" within all of us. St. Augustine is credited with first articulating this concept, though he put it much more elegantly -

"What place is there in me to which my God can come, what place that can
receive the God who made heaven and earth? Does this mean, O Lord my God,
that there is in me something fit to contain you? ... Or, since nothing that
exists could exist without you, does this mean that whatever exists does, in
this sense, contain you? If this is so, since I too exist, why do I ask you
to come into me? For I should not be there at all unless, in this way, you
were already present within me."

Just a thought.

Which one is wrong?

For those of you freaked and confused by The Matrix or afraid of anything post-modern, this may not be for you. As I drove to the office this morning, something just didn't feel right. Or look right. I couldn't decide which it was. The temps today are forecasted to be another record-breaking high of 94 degrees (yes that's right - 94!) but the leaves on the trees are all turning beautiful shades of red, yellow, and orange because the days are getting shorter. Which one is right?

I'll admit to being fairly ignorant of the names of all the philosophical schools of thought. I could not tell an existentialist from a Epicurean, though I could tell you what makes them tick after talking to one of them. Today is one of those days that makes you wonder metaphysically what is real - what I see or what I feel? I see fall coming - in the leaves and on the calendar. I feel summer in its prime. Somewhere out there is a school of thought with a name that talks about such questions.

Unlike yesterday's post, this one has a purpose and meaning. Our faith journeys are in many ways directed and interpreted by what makes us tick, by what our perspective on the world around us is. For some, matters of faith and how they serve God are dictated by how they feel. For others, it is determined by what they see. There will be times in life where these two will be stand in stark contrast and lead to very different outcomes. How then does one decide?

What do you do? Which guides you more? How do you choose which way to go? As you ponder these questions, put on a tank top, grab some ice cold lemondae, and go out and enjoy the changing leaves.

Hi, I'm Brett Favre

Last night as I struggled to stay awake during the second half of Packer-Bears football game, I realized something. I'm Brett Favre. No, I'm not having some kind of schizophrenic psychotic episode nor am I developing a dissociative identity disorder, confusing my real identity as the Marlboro Man with that of Brett Favre, starting quaterback of the Green Bay Packers and certain hall of famer. At one point during the game while the announcers were lauding Favre's ability, even at this stage in his career (this is his 17th season), they shared a quote from one of the Bears defensive players. This player had called Favre "an old Tony Romo". Translation - he is too old to be able to do the things he is doing. All the talk the last twelve months about Favre has centered around when he is going to finally retire.

As I listened to the announcers talk about Favre and his career accomplishments, I began to do the math. Brett (we're on a first name basis) and I are about the same age, but he looks WAAYYYY older than I. I looked up his birthdate, and to my surprise, I'm actually 6 months older than he. My age compared to all the famous people in the news lately has garnered much of my attention. When I look at all the hot stars in the music business or in Hollywood, they are all a lot younger than I. A few years ago I had the painful experience of going to the doctor for a checkup and discovering that my doctor was younger than I. When I think about the 2700 years of schooling required for such a position, it really made me feel old.

I know that I really am not all that old. In fact, if not for the peach fuzz I mistakenly call facial hair, I would look more like a college student. But one cannot help but examine one's life, wondering if it has amounted to anything, or if anything is left ahead to do. I've already begun accumulating my list of things I wish I had done. Things like actually listening to all those financial advisors and opening an IRA when I was 22 or serve in the military when I had the chance.

They say that the more you learn the more you realize you don't know. They also say there is no shortcut to wisdom. I have been privileged to meet some men who have pastored for forty-five or more years. We don't listen to those men enough because "they're not in touch with today's world". Maybe they're not. Just because they don't have an iPod though doesn't mean they can't help you navigate through life.

So what does any of this have to do with me thinking I'm Brett Favre? Nothing really. You're just reading the meandering thoughts of a once brilliant mind going dim with age. You are participating in the angst of someone wondering if his life has really mattered up to this point. You are peeking over the shoulder of someone who is feeling a little goofier than usual today and also knows that there is lots of time ahead to do whatever he wants. And you're also being asked to pray for the Carolina Panthers. I really want to return to the Superbowl and live up to all the pre-season hype again.

Just a thought. Now, I challenge you to find some coherent way to comment on these mumblings. This is Brett Favre signing out.

Eight Days a Week

No, this is not a post about the Beatles, though their hit with the same title is nice little sing along (lyrics here). BTW, this was a single release only in the US, but enough about the Fab Four. I've decided I want a new calendar. Contrary to popular belief, the 365 day calendar we so enjoy with its quadrennial leap year is not the only calendar in use today. We may have clocked it "perfectly" in terms of our position relative to the sun and other stars, but some cultures and other parts of nature refuse to abide by such constraints. For instance, I learned yesterday that Muslims utilize a 354 day calendar to mark their religious celebrations. The moon, and many women with it, operate on a 28 day month.

So, I've decided I will start utilizing an eight day week. This will accomplish two things. It will give me an extra day on the weekend and it will give me an extra day each week to think of something to post here, assuming I keep to a regular Monday morning posting schedule. Now the logistics of such a change have to be worked through.

First, I have to decide what I will call my eighth day. I'm thinking about something totally boring and mathematical like Octoday. Or I can go with something more creative and relate it to Roman mythology and call it Neptunesday (after Neptune). That's actually not a bad idea because Neptune is the eighth planet and Octoday makes me think about an octopus which lives in the sea and Neptune was the god of the sea. Okay, Neptunesday it is.

Second, where do I place this eighth day? Do I insert it between Saturday & Sunday OR after Sunday. We still consider Sunday the first day of the week, but when you look at work calendars, at least in western society, many times, Saturday and Sunday are squished together in one block at the end of the week, making Monday the first day on the far left.

Third, how will this affect my interactions with the rest of society? My church expects me to show up on the first day of their old-fashioned seven day week and give a sermon. And what if I want to get a Chick-Fil-A sandwich on Neptunesday, but it just happens to fall on the Sunday of a seven-day week? They'll be closed. Extended family gatherings during the holidays might become an issue too unless they realize how much better the eight day week with Neptunesday really is.

Looks like the world will have to be changed. What do you think? Is it worth the headache? I'm pretty certain that an eight day week won't catch on. Maybe Neptunesday isn't worth the headache, but some things are. Matters of faith and how a faith journey shapes your life certainly are. Even how we do church is worth changing if it means we will grow in our relationships with God and it allows us to connect more people to a faith journey.

What are the things relating to our faith and church in particular that are worth changing, but might create a little havoc initially as you try to coordinate with the old way of doing things?

Did you hear that pt2

Staying with the theme from last week's post, let's talk about the need for an interpreter. When I lived in the inner city, I had a lot of contact with Hispanic immigrants. There was a large population of Hispanic people in my neighborhood. The school where I taught had a lot of Hispanic students. I heard everything they said perfectly fine. I understood very little though. I needed an interpreter. Of course, the more time I spent in these kind of conversations, the more I began to understand. But I never reached a point where I could make it without an interpreter.

Hearing from God is like that. The more you hear from him, the more you are able to understand on your own. However, there are some things you just want to verify that you are understanding correctly. It may be really big decisions. It may be that even though you are 99% positive you have heard correctly, there isn't any peace about the decision. That's where it's good to have an interpreter to consult.In fact, it's good to have several interpreters. Friends you can trust with the details. Friends you can trust to listen to God with you.

I've been using some interpreters myself lately. I'm glad I have them because I don't want to give somebody a big yellow pencil when they are trying to tell me they are having a heart attack.

In the news today

Here's a sample of interesting news that caught my eye today. Some are worthy to ponder, others are just for a good laugh.

God gets sued (be sure to read the whole article)

QB testifies to miracle from God

Meteorite causes sickness

BoSox rookies get hazed (you'll have to wait thru a 15 sec commercial)

Feel free to comment on any of these. Have a great day.

Did you hear that?

I was brushing my teeth this morning when I thought I heard my phone ring. That happens frequently because I use an electric toothbrush. Sometimes when I turn it up to extreme super max high speed with the grinding wheel so I can really polish my molars, it creates a ringing in my ears. I turned off the toothbrush and listened more closely and realized it was just the ringing inside my skull created by the 100,000 rpm motion of the toothbrush head.

By now you've probably heard about the mosquito ringtone you can download for your cell phone. We all know that as we get older certain parts of our body do not function as well. Our ears are two of those parts. The internal parts of our ears become less sensitive to higher frequency noises as we age. Someone has done the research and found out a frequency that teens can hear but adults cannot. I've been to the website above and tested it myself. My kids could indeed hear what I could not.

This morning as I was hearing things I didn't really hear and pondering things I couldn't hear, I began to think about hearing God. Most people are afraid to say, "I heard God speak" for fear of being locked away someplace where you can't hurt anyone. Most of the time it is true that when we "hear" God it is more like a feeling that we know what we are supposed to go and do, say, stop, or whatever. There have been times in my life where I knew what God was saying to me but pretended it was something else because I didn't want to do the thing he said. Those times usually don't end well until you turn it around. Luckily, I eventually turned it around.

There are other times where we misunderstand God or just hear him wrong. On a few occasions, my wife and I have stepped out in faith to do something we just postively knew was something God had told us to do. Halfway through the endeavor it became obvious we needed to turn around or just stop the thing altogether. The question then became, "How did we misunderstand? Will we ever be able to understand and know for sure what we are supposed to do?"

Misunderstanding/mis-hearing will go a long way in making you gun shy in the future. It certainly has for us. So what do you do? One of things you can do is bounce it off your friends who are on the same faith journey as you. Ninety-nine percent of the time they'll be able to help you discern if you are doing the right thing. You can always compare it to things you thought you heard in the past; for example, ask yourself, "Is this something that is out of character for what I know about God?"

Sometimes you just aren't going to know until you step out. When you do, don't worry if you discover that you may have misunderstood. Remain faithful on your journey - that's what he's measuring anyway. Above all else, keep listening because he will speak to you.

Now, I wonder what would happen if I hooked my toothbrush up to my car battery?

Secrets Revealed

Last night I watched a show that revealed all the secrets to how magicians, or more appropriately called illusionists, do their tricks. The Masked Magician revealed the secrets for everything from pulling a rabbit out of a hat to cutting a woman in half to making an elephant disappear. Some of the secrets I had suspected. Others were new.

Here's the disappointing part. Now I won't be able to enjoy myself the next time I see an illusionist perform. I'll know how he does it. It will be like that first holiday you discovered that all its characters were not real (I'm writing in code for all our young readers!). All the mystery will be gone, just like that 7000 pound elephant.

How many of us have become disillusioned on our faith journeys because the mystery was gone? I know some for whom their faith never had any mystery about it and it worked for them. They were strict rationalists. Some have argued people like that have a dead faith, but I would not dare try to judge such a thing in a person's life.

Personally I need some mystery - that's why I'm a mystic. I don't mean mystic as in mixing eastern religious chants and other non-Christian practices and philosophies with my faith. I mean mystic in the sense that I can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit; mystic in the sense that I have peace in the face of adverse circumstances and I can't explain why; mystic in the sense that I know exactly what God is saying to me at that moment.

Which leads me to other thoughts - what would it take to remove the mystery from my faith? Is mystery even an appropriate element in our faith? What do you think? Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go saw one of my kids in half.

Remembering . . .

Last week was filled with one story after another about Princess Di. It was the tenth anniversary of her tragic death. I remember exactly where I was when I found out. I might even be able to remember what I was wearing. I do know I was at church the morning after, attending services at Brick by Brick UMC in Lexington, KY.

It's amazing how things get rooted in your memory. Tragic events have a way of doing that to you. I remember where I was and what I was doing when Elvis died, Reagan was shot, the shuttles Challenger and Columbia exploded, and of course 9/11. Many people from generations before me remember details about Vietnam, Pearl Harbor, and even the stock market crash of 1929.

The media was filled with stories about Princess Di last week. All her good qualities were noted and memorialized. It made me think about how I will be remembered after I'm gone (which I hope is a long time from now). I know that there are some mistakes, poor choices, character flaws, and misunderstandings that some will remember. I hope the majority of what is remembered will be the good things that I have done. People even talk about the good things Nixon did nowadays.

Above all else, I hope that my faith journey is the dominant memory people have of me. I hope that people think of me and say it was obvious that I loved God will all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I hope they say I loved my neighbor as myself.

Of course, fifty years after I'm gone, unless I become really famous for something, there will be very few people who will remember me. That's where it's important to have invested in other people's lives. Someone will remember them one day and if we live in such a way as to inspire them to live their own faith journey so that they are totally committed to God, then in an indirect way, we are remembered. That's all that's really important anyway.

Just a thought.

Random Acts of Friendship

I received a gift last night. It was a brand new, never before used, freshly shipped still in the box beverage glass with the Camel cigarette logo etched beautifully on the side. I was somewhat perplexed at the meaning, so I asked my gift-giving friend the meaning behind his generosity. He explained with a smile that it was a "man's glass". I guess he is equating Joe Camel with The Marlboro Man. My wife and I got a good laugh out of it. We were also advised to tell our children that it was the camel belonging to Moses if asked.

Last week another friend called me from Wal-Mart. He said, "Guess what I'm looking at?" Having absolutely no idea, I gave up. He then said excitedly, "I'm looking at a whole display of Peter Pan peanut butter." I thought to myself, "How cool is that? My friend knows enough about my addictions that he is looking out for me!" I still haven't bought any yet. I'm waiting for the reduced fat stuff to come out. If it doesn't come out soon though I'll buy the full fat stuff.

If there is something major going on in my life - good or bad, I have friends who will call to check up on me and see how I'm doing. Many times this summer I've commented at how good these friends are.

This would be a good time to get real cheesy and start humming "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. The refrain says "Friends are friends forever when the Lord's the Lord of them". I have found that to be true. It really is more than a cheesy song used to illicit tears on the last night of camp or other youth-related retreat thing.

And you already know that friends are important to our faith journeys. Not just for the accountability piece. It's good to just have fun and friends on your journey. I hope you have some to journey with you. Thanks guys for being part of mine.

Hell Revisited

Well, let's hope you aren't really revisiting hell, or have even visited hell the first time. One would think that after going there once you would not choose to go back. In the spirit of my previous post relating to dialog, I feel the need to clarify my thoughts about hell and its place in our journeys. I encourage you to check out the comments here and here before reading any further (or is farther? maybe someone will dialog and help me get it straight which it is).

Hell is something to be avoided, that's for sure. I do not think it is something to avoided in talking about out faith journeys. In Losing or Winning, I reference the rewards of entering into a faith journey. It must also be understood that these rewards are not options. It is not a case of "I don't really want a glorified body and all that. Is there a cheaper package I can get?" There really are only two options - ALL or NOTHING, Heaven or hell.

The second option has to come into play at some point. In What exactly is a faith journey, I reference the fact that sin has us on a path that takes us away from God. What I do not say in that post is where exactly it takes us. Some readers will immediately recognize this and be quick to point it out as a shortcoming. Maybe so. But, I think the discerning reader and the person whom the Holy Spirit may be working with will be able to fill in that blank. It's an obvious question that most will ask, whether aloud or internally.

Timing is everything. For some people, they will understand and respond to the hell option much more quickly and receptively than others. Other people will need to hear about the heaven option first before they can understand the hell option. My issue with the "avoidance of hell" methodology is that is all some ever talk about. It is many times presented as the "You can passively choose hell by not choosing God. Don't worry about the joyful things that come from choosing God. Let's just get you out of the fire."

Just a thought.

Blogging - the good, the bad, and the ugly

As I was sitting around this morning trying my best to avoid doing anything productive because that would require work, I had a few thoughts about blogging. These thoughts are generated in large part as a result of the comments (few as they are) given to some of my posts. In the spirit of a good spaghetti western, let's look at the good, the bad, and the ugly in reverse order.

First the ugly. It can get brutal out there. Some people like to blog so they can rant and rave about all that is not right in the world, rarely providing any solutions but often telling others how wrong they are. Sometimes people like to leave comments on the blogs of others, writing in a tone that is anything but civil, inviting harsh disagreement, battles, and many times taking on the form of personal attacks. I've only been blessed with such a response once or twice, but I know a few guys whose blogs get hit 1000's of times each week and the comments often fall into this category.

Blogging can be bad because unless you want to post a 200 page dissertation, it can be hard to post all your thoughts in their fully explained form. You just post and hope people figure it out. Or, those who don't know you may read your stuff and miss out on the underlying assumptions you as the writer thought were there.

Some of the stuff you find out there is just plain bad. The going joke nowadays is, "I read it on the internet. It must be true." Some people post as satire. Some post really believing what they have written is true, but may be way of base. You might think this blog falls into category, which leads me to what is good about blogging.

Blogging can lead to good dialog. I've enjoyed participating in dialog with people all around the world that was not possible before the advent of our current technical living space. Dialog is good because it provides additional perspectives and even correctives to things. Dialog allows those who miss the underlying assumptions to clarify the confusion. Dialog enables the writer to hit on those omissions from his dissertation when necessary.

Blogging at its ugliest, worst, and best illustrates our faith journeys. We've all encountered those individuals who are extremely hostile to things of faith. At times the world around us makes a faith journey difficult, whether it does so passively or actively. There is also some really bad info out there about our faith journeys. Which is why good dialog is necessary for our faith journeys. We need to see other perspectives. We need to receive and issue correctives. We need to get further clarification on what something means.

How have you experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly on your faith journey?

Losing or winning?

Merv Griffin died this weekend. The late night news began its report on Merv by saying, "Merv Griffin died this weekend, finally losing his battle against prostate cancer." I immediately thought, "Did he really lose?" In the church, we rarely say someone "lost" when they die of some disease. We usually say, "Their battle ended." Why? Despite our grief at having lost a loved one, we believe that person, if on a faith journey, actually wins the greatest prize of all.

Last week I cautioned against using "avoidance of hell" as the primary reason/method by which to encourage someone to begin their faith journey. I still stand by those thoughts. It is true that at some point you have to understand the reality of hell as part of your faith journey, but does it have to be the main thing you understand? What about the benefits of being on a faith journey? What about the fact that in heaven, you are in a place where you receive a new body, just like the one Christ received at his resurrection that will never need repair, never grow old, never suffer aches or pains? What about the reality that in heaven there is no sorrow, no grief, no emotional disorders or mental illness? What about the joy of knowing that you get to be in the actual, physical, and literal presence of the God who created the universe and you get to do so forever? That sounds a lot like winning to me, regardless of how it phrased by the people of this world.

There are lots of other ways to talk about losing and winning on our faith journeys. Maybe that's something for my next set of thoughts. For now, think about what you win on your faith journey.

Is it love?

Monday night, all our cynicism was confirmed. Those of us who are cynics will merely say that reality was confirmed. Thirty year old tennis star Mark Phillipousis chose the 25 year old Amanda over the 48 year old Jen on NBC's The Age of Love. For those of you who haven't heard about the reality show universe that dominates our television screen, this was (another!) show where a good looking, extremely eligible(rich!) bachelor agrees to pick a potential spouse from a group of women he's never met before. Every few days, he has to send one home as he gradually narrows the choices down. It takes approximately four weeks of real world time that is then cut and edited into eight to thirteen weeks of tv. In this version, a group of 40+ year olds were pitted against a group of twenty somethings. Does love really overlook age?

It seems every network has some version of this now. ABC started it all with The Bachelor. The first match up didn't work out, but when they did The Bachelorette, it turned out to be a match made in heaven. I don't remember their names, but the pretty blonde bachelorette picked her dream husband from the group and for over a year, America watched their wedding plans take shape and finally their wedding. I assume they're still together because all my entertainment mags and online subscriptions haven't told me otherwise. Which reminds me, I better renew now so I can keep up with Nicole's pregnancy and receive hourly updates on the rumored trouble in the Bradgelina home. But I digress.

Every one of these shows ends with the jilted and no longer potential paramour crying. Their final words usually go like this, "I know we only had one conversation and it was about the benefits of self-clumping kitty litter, but I KNOW he was the one. Why couldn't he see that we were made for each other? But I love him so much, I just hope he is happy." There are several things about these shows I do not understand. (You, in turn, may not understand why I watch them - I don't. I get the fifteen minute synopsis after the grand finale) First, why would you participate in a modern day harem to find the love of your life? The bachelor or bachelorette that is doing the choosing is basically making out with all the other contestants every chance possible. The second thing I cannot understand is how can you "fall in love" in such a short time and shallow circumstances?

At the end of Monday's finale, Jen, the 48 year old, was of course in tears. I'm paraphrasing here, but she essentially said, "You know, one time I was cyncial like that Matt Guthrie guy. I used to watch these shows and say, 'Give me a break. Those can't be real tears!' But now I know differently. My emotions are real. I know how strongly I feel about Mark right now."

I tried to compare Jen's experience with my own. I fell in love with my wife pretty quickly. We had only been dating about two weeks when I told her, "I think I'm falling in love." We "agreed" that we were working toward marriage in only two months and made it publicly official with a ring after four and a half months. The difference is I had known her for over two years when we started dating. I also did not have to compete with twelve other guys simultaneously, although there is that Christmas party incident before we started dating where I was ready to show some other guy I could whip his butt if necessary for the exclusive rights to her attention.

What do shows like The Age of Love and all its siblings tell us about our society and ourselves? I think it shows how desperate we are for love. I don't mean this as a characterization of the men and women on these shows. I mean it as a commentary on love's absence from our lives. We all, to quote the Foreigner hit from the '80s, "want to know what love is."

Real love is possible and it can change your life. If you're on a faith journey, you will be experience real love. It may not be the syrupy or sentimental kind, but it is a love that will never leave you. Your faith journey is only possible because love won out over our sinfulness. When we journey together properly, we don't just get it from above. We will experience that love through the people around us. You will find yourself giving it as much if not more than you are taking.

Love is a beautiful thing, and yes it is real.

New Link

I've inserted a new link over on the righthand side of the page - Asbury Bloggers Society. I hope they'll include me. Pick me! Pick me!

I think it is the equivalent to the Skull and Bones society at Yale. Except without all the cool things like secret hand shakes, extreme partying, past, present and future presidents, one-world government end time connections and conspiracy theories. There are some interesting posts to be found though.

Feeling the Heat

This week promises to be a scorcher. Temps are forecasted to break 100 in my neck of the woods. All last week they hovered around the triple digit mark. We've been carefully planning our daily activities to avoid the heat of the day whenever possible. Overall the summer hasn't been that bad. I've seen a lot worse. The humidity rose substantially a few weeks ago, but again, this has been a pretty cool summer, no pun intended.

All this heat reminded me of a saying I heard a while back. "It's hot, but Hell's hotter. Don't go there." It was said in jest and yet it was also obvious to anyone listening that the person saying this was giving a half-hearted suggestion to whomever might be listening that eternal damnation in the lake of fire was something to be avoided. I believe this person spoke with all sincerity in his concern for someone's soul. Many of us have been exposed to the sincere efforts of someone (whether a "professionsal" evangelist or just a friend) to scare us into Heaven.

I believe in a literal Hell that fits all the descriptions you would expect a preacher to believe in. However, I'm not sure how effective or even appropriate such an approach is to helping someone see the need to be on a faith journey. There is a time and place where the reality of Hell needs to be discussed. I just don't believe it's at the beginning of the journey.

Lots of people interpret such tactics as intimidation. I've heard countless stories from people very dear to me who feel bitter resentment at such an approach being used on them. They sincerely believed all that was being said to them but something in the approach and forcefulness of the speaker left a bitter taste in their mouths that caused them to turn back later. Some people have galvanized their resistance to Christianity because of it.

Some of the people reading this aren't going to like it. I'm going to be accused of watering down the Gospel. My faith is going to be questioned. That's ok. If you visit here frequently and read the comments of others, you'll know I get hit from both sides of the fence. So for those of you who disagree, be kind and comment appropriately. For all of you, I'd like to hear about your experiences with someone trying to tell you about the need for a faith journey. Was it positive or negative and why? If you said "Yes", why? If you said "No", why? I'll be here looking for a cool spot while I wait.

Relationships anyone?

No, this is not an indication that I am now running an online dating service. But it will give you an idea of where this post is heading. It all started last Wednesday night (cue strumming harps and wavy pictures as we enter memory mode) . . .

The family and I went to see the Durham Bulls play Wednesday night. They're the triple-A affiliate of the major league baseball Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Minor league ball games are always great places to take the family because they really cater to families, providing lots of wholesome, family friendly entertainment. The level of play, at least in Durham, is usually pretty good and the park is just the right size so that there are no bad seats in the place. unless you're in the outfield. I don't care how small the park, if you're in the outfield, it's never a good seat. But I digress.

As the game was beginning, five women and a toddler came and sat two rows ahead of us. My wife and I waited a few minutes, looking for the men to show up. This was afterall a sporting event. Not that women can't enjoy sports, but usually when given a night out, women don't choose the ball park. No men ever showed up. It became clear it was just these ladies, enjoying a night out, even if they had one kid in tow.

At the end of the second inning, another peculiar thing happened. All five got up together and left. Lest you think I'm being chauvinistic or at least stereotypical in my judgments, my wife was the first to say, "I guess they've had enough." I joked and said maybe they had to go to the bathroom. I guess the same rule applies to the concession stand because within minutes, they returned, each with food and drink.

During the slow parts of the game, I watched the women interact. They appeared to be enjoying the game but they appeared to be enjoying one another's company more. Throughout the game, they would switch seats with one another in order to be able to converse with a different person. Guys don't do that. We stay where we are and just shout over the five people between us when we want to speak to the guy on the end. That works for us, so it's ok. Don't judge us ;-)

It's widely talked about that women are better at relationships than men. I'm not ready to agree 100% with the notion that men stink at relationships. We just do it differently. What these women did illustrate and remind me of though was the importance of healthy relationships, however you maintain them. (Healthy is the key word there) When you are on a faith journey it is important to maintain healthy relationships with other people also on a faith journey. That does not mean to restrict those relationship building times to church, Bible study, or some other "spiritual" thing. Going to a ball game, fishing, playing ball, seeing a movie, scrapbooking, sharing a meal. . . anything that gets you doing life together is important and will have immeasurable benefits.

So, anyone up for some relationships?