Did you hear that?

I was brushing my teeth this morning when I thought I heard my phone ring. That happens frequently because I use an electric toothbrush. Sometimes when I turn it up to extreme super max high speed with the grinding wheel so I can really polish my molars, it creates a ringing in my ears. I turned off the toothbrush and listened more closely and realized it was just the ringing inside my skull created by the 100,000 rpm motion of the toothbrush head.

By now you've probably heard about the mosquito ringtone you can download for your cell phone. We all know that as we get older certain parts of our body do not function as well. Our ears are two of those parts. The internal parts of our ears become less sensitive to higher frequency noises as we age. Someone has done the research and found out a frequency that teens can hear but adults cannot. I've been to the website above and tested it myself. My kids could indeed hear what I could not.

This morning as I was hearing things I didn't really hear and pondering things I couldn't hear, I began to think about hearing God. Most people are afraid to say, "I heard God speak" for fear of being locked away someplace where you can't hurt anyone. Most of the time it is true that when we "hear" God it is more like a feeling that we know what we are supposed to go and do, say, stop, or whatever. There have been times in my life where I knew what God was saying to me but pretended it was something else because I didn't want to do the thing he said. Those times usually don't end well until you turn it around. Luckily, I eventually turned it around.

There are other times where we misunderstand God or just hear him wrong. On a few occasions, my wife and I have stepped out in faith to do something we just postively knew was something God had told us to do. Halfway through the endeavor it became obvious we needed to turn around or just stop the thing altogether. The question then became, "How did we misunderstand? Will we ever be able to understand and know for sure what we are supposed to do?"

Misunderstanding/mis-hearing will go a long way in making you gun shy in the future. It certainly has for us. So what do you do? One of things you can do is bounce it off your friends who are on the same faith journey as you. Ninety-nine percent of the time they'll be able to help you discern if you are doing the right thing. You can always compare it to things you thought you heard in the past; for example, ask yourself, "Is this something that is out of character for what I know about God?"

Sometimes you just aren't going to know until you step out. When you do, don't worry if you discover that you may have misunderstood. Remain faithful on your journey - that's what he's measuring anyway. Above all else, keep listening because he will speak to you.

Now, I wonder what would happen if I hooked my toothbrush up to my car battery?

Secrets Revealed

Last night I watched a show that revealed all the secrets to how magicians, or more appropriately called illusionists, do their tricks. The Masked Magician revealed the secrets for everything from pulling a rabbit out of a hat to cutting a woman in half to making an elephant disappear. Some of the secrets I had suspected. Others were new.

Here's the disappointing part. Now I won't be able to enjoy myself the next time I see an illusionist perform. I'll know how he does it. It will be like that first holiday you discovered that all its characters were not real (I'm writing in code for all our young readers!). All the mystery will be gone, just like that 7000 pound elephant.

How many of us have become disillusioned on our faith journeys because the mystery was gone? I know some for whom their faith never had any mystery about it and it worked for them. They were strict rationalists. Some have argued people like that have a dead faith, but I would not dare try to judge such a thing in a person's life.

Personally I need some mystery - that's why I'm a mystic. I don't mean mystic as in mixing eastern religious chants and other non-Christian practices and philosophies with my faith. I mean mystic in the sense that I can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit; mystic in the sense that I have peace in the face of adverse circumstances and I can't explain why; mystic in the sense that I know exactly what God is saying to me at that moment.

Which leads me to other thoughts - what would it take to remove the mystery from my faith? Is mystery even an appropriate element in our faith? What do you think? Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go saw one of my kids in half.

Remembering . . .

Last week was filled with one story after another about Princess Di. It was the tenth anniversary of her tragic death. I remember exactly where I was when I found out. I might even be able to remember what I was wearing. I do know I was at church the morning after, attending services at Brick by Brick UMC in Lexington, KY.

It's amazing how things get rooted in your memory. Tragic events have a way of doing that to you. I remember where I was and what I was doing when Elvis died, Reagan was shot, the shuttles Challenger and Columbia exploded, and of course 9/11. Many people from generations before me remember details about Vietnam, Pearl Harbor, and even the stock market crash of 1929.

The media was filled with stories about Princess Di last week. All her good qualities were noted and memorialized. It made me think about how I will be remembered after I'm gone (which I hope is a long time from now). I know that there are some mistakes, poor choices, character flaws, and misunderstandings that some will remember. I hope the majority of what is remembered will be the good things that I have done. People even talk about the good things Nixon did nowadays.

Above all else, I hope that my faith journey is the dominant memory people have of me. I hope that people think of me and say it was obvious that I loved God will all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I hope they say I loved my neighbor as myself.

Of course, fifty years after I'm gone, unless I become really famous for something, there will be very few people who will remember me. That's where it's important to have invested in other people's lives. Someone will remember them one day and if we live in such a way as to inspire them to live their own faith journey so that they are totally committed to God, then in an indirect way, we are remembered. That's all that's really important anyway.

Just a thought.

Random Acts of Friendship

I received a gift last night. It was a brand new, never before used, freshly shipped still in the box beverage glass with the Camel cigarette logo etched beautifully on the side. I was somewhat perplexed at the meaning, so I asked my gift-giving friend the meaning behind his generosity. He explained with a smile that it was a "man's glass". I guess he is equating Joe Camel with The Marlboro Man. My wife and I got a good laugh out of it. We were also advised to tell our children that it was the camel belonging to Moses if asked.

Last week another friend called me from Wal-Mart. He said, "Guess what I'm looking at?" Having absolutely no idea, I gave up. He then said excitedly, "I'm looking at a whole display of Peter Pan peanut butter." I thought to myself, "How cool is that? My friend knows enough about my addictions that he is looking out for me!" I still haven't bought any yet. I'm waiting for the reduced fat stuff to come out. If it doesn't come out soon though I'll buy the full fat stuff.

If there is something major going on in my life - good or bad, I have friends who will call to check up on me and see how I'm doing. Many times this summer I've commented at how good these friends are.

This would be a good time to get real cheesy and start humming "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. The refrain says "Friends are friends forever when the Lord's the Lord of them". I have found that to be true. It really is more than a cheesy song used to illicit tears on the last night of camp or other youth-related retreat thing.

And you already know that friends are important to our faith journeys. Not just for the accountability piece. It's good to just have fun and friends on your journey. I hope you have some to journey with you. Thanks guys for being part of mine.

Hell Revisited

Well, let's hope you aren't really revisiting hell, or have even visited hell the first time. One would think that after going there once you would not choose to go back. In the spirit of my previous post relating to dialog, I feel the need to clarify my thoughts about hell and its place in our journeys. I encourage you to check out the comments here and here before reading any further (or is farther? maybe someone will dialog and help me get it straight which it is).

Hell is something to be avoided, that's for sure. I do not think it is something to avoided in talking about out faith journeys. In Losing or Winning, I reference the rewards of entering into a faith journey. It must also be understood that these rewards are not options. It is not a case of "I don't really want a glorified body and all that. Is there a cheaper package I can get?" There really are only two options - ALL or NOTHING, Heaven or hell.

The second option has to come into play at some point. In What exactly is a faith journey, I reference the fact that sin has us on a path that takes us away from God. What I do not say in that post is where exactly it takes us. Some readers will immediately recognize this and be quick to point it out as a shortcoming. Maybe so. But, I think the discerning reader and the person whom the Holy Spirit may be working with will be able to fill in that blank. It's an obvious question that most will ask, whether aloud or internally.

Timing is everything. For some people, they will understand and respond to the hell option much more quickly and receptively than others. Other people will need to hear about the heaven option first before they can understand the hell option. My issue with the "avoidance of hell" methodology is that is all some ever talk about. It is many times presented as the "You can passively choose hell by not choosing God. Don't worry about the joyful things that come from choosing God. Let's just get you out of the fire."

Just a thought.

Blogging - the good, the bad, and the ugly

As I was sitting around this morning trying my best to avoid doing anything productive because that would require work, I had a few thoughts about blogging. These thoughts are generated in large part as a result of the comments (few as they are) given to some of my posts. In the spirit of a good spaghetti western, let's look at the good, the bad, and the ugly in reverse order.

First the ugly. It can get brutal out there. Some people like to blog so they can rant and rave about all that is not right in the world, rarely providing any solutions but often telling others how wrong they are. Sometimes people like to leave comments on the blogs of others, writing in a tone that is anything but civil, inviting harsh disagreement, battles, and many times taking on the form of personal attacks. I've only been blessed with such a response once or twice, but I know a few guys whose blogs get hit 1000's of times each week and the comments often fall into this category.

Blogging can be bad because unless you want to post a 200 page dissertation, it can be hard to post all your thoughts in their fully explained form. You just post and hope people figure it out. Or, those who don't know you may read your stuff and miss out on the underlying assumptions you as the writer thought were there.

Some of the stuff you find out there is just plain bad. The going joke nowadays is, "I read it on the internet. It must be true." Some people post as satire. Some post really believing what they have written is true, but may be way of base. You might think this blog falls into category, which leads me to what is good about blogging.

Blogging can lead to good dialog. I've enjoyed participating in dialog with people all around the world that was not possible before the advent of our current technical living space. Dialog is good because it provides additional perspectives and even correctives to things. Dialog allows those who miss the underlying assumptions to clarify the confusion. Dialog enables the writer to hit on those omissions from his dissertation when necessary.

Blogging at its ugliest, worst, and best illustrates our faith journeys. We've all encountered those individuals who are extremely hostile to things of faith. At times the world around us makes a faith journey difficult, whether it does so passively or actively. There is also some really bad info out there about our faith journeys. Which is why good dialog is necessary for our faith journeys. We need to see other perspectives. We need to receive and issue correctives. We need to get further clarification on what something means.

How have you experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly on your faith journey?

Losing or winning?

Merv Griffin died this weekend. The late night news began its report on Merv by saying, "Merv Griffin died this weekend, finally losing his battle against prostate cancer." I immediately thought, "Did he really lose?" In the church, we rarely say someone "lost" when they die of some disease. We usually say, "Their battle ended." Why? Despite our grief at having lost a loved one, we believe that person, if on a faith journey, actually wins the greatest prize of all.

Last week I cautioned against using "avoidance of hell" as the primary reason/method by which to encourage someone to begin their faith journey. I still stand by those thoughts. It is true that at some point you have to understand the reality of hell as part of your faith journey, but does it have to be the main thing you understand? What about the benefits of being on a faith journey? What about the fact that in heaven, you are in a place where you receive a new body, just like the one Christ received at his resurrection that will never need repair, never grow old, never suffer aches or pains? What about the reality that in heaven there is no sorrow, no grief, no emotional disorders or mental illness? What about the joy of knowing that you get to be in the actual, physical, and literal presence of the God who created the universe and you get to do so forever? That sounds a lot like winning to me, regardless of how it phrased by the people of this world.

There are lots of other ways to talk about losing and winning on our faith journeys. Maybe that's something for my next set of thoughts. For now, think about what you win on your faith journey.

Is it love?

Monday night, all our cynicism was confirmed. Those of us who are cynics will merely say that reality was confirmed. Thirty year old tennis star Mark Phillipousis chose the 25 year old Amanda over the 48 year old Jen on NBC's The Age of Love. For those of you who haven't heard about the reality show universe that dominates our television screen, this was (another!) show where a good looking, extremely eligible(rich!) bachelor agrees to pick a potential spouse from a group of women he's never met before. Every few days, he has to send one home as he gradually narrows the choices down. It takes approximately four weeks of real world time that is then cut and edited into eight to thirteen weeks of tv. In this version, a group of 40+ year olds were pitted against a group of twenty somethings. Does love really overlook age?

It seems every network has some version of this now. ABC started it all with The Bachelor. The first match up didn't work out, but when they did The Bachelorette, it turned out to be a match made in heaven. I don't remember their names, but the pretty blonde bachelorette picked her dream husband from the group and for over a year, America watched their wedding plans take shape and finally their wedding. I assume they're still together because all my entertainment mags and online subscriptions haven't told me otherwise. Which reminds me, I better renew now so I can keep up with Nicole's pregnancy and receive hourly updates on the rumored trouble in the Bradgelina home. But I digress.

Every one of these shows ends with the jilted and no longer potential paramour crying. Their final words usually go like this, "I know we only had one conversation and it was about the benefits of self-clumping kitty litter, but I KNOW he was the one. Why couldn't he see that we were made for each other? But I love him so much, I just hope he is happy." There are several things about these shows I do not understand. (You, in turn, may not understand why I watch them - I don't. I get the fifteen minute synopsis after the grand finale) First, why would you participate in a modern day harem to find the love of your life? The bachelor or bachelorette that is doing the choosing is basically making out with all the other contestants every chance possible. The second thing I cannot understand is how can you "fall in love" in such a short time and shallow circumstances?

At the end of Monday's finale, Jen, the 48 year old, was of course in tears. I'm paraphrasing here, but she essentially said, "You know, one time I was cyncial like that Matt Guthrie guy. I used to watch these shows and say, 'Give me a break. Those can't be real tears!' But now I know differently. My emotions are real. I know how strongly I feel about Mark right now."

I tried to compare Jen's experience with my own. I fell in love with my wife pretty quickly. We had only been dating about two weeks when I told her, "I think I'm falling in love." We "agreed" that we were working toward marriage in only two months and made it publicly official with a ring after four and a half months. The difference is I had known her for over two years when we started dating. I also did not have to compete with twelve other guys simultaneously, although there is that Christmas party incident before we started dating where I was ready to show some other guy I could whip his butt if necessary for the exclusive rights to her attention.

What do shows like The Age of Love and all its siblings tell us about our society and ourselves? I think it shows how desperate we are for love. I don't mean this as a characterization of the men and women on these shows. I mean it as a commentary on love's absence from our lives. We all, to quote the Foreigner hit from the '80s, "want to know what love is."

Real love is possible and it can change your life. If you're on a faith journey, you will be experience real love. It may not be the syrupy or sentimental kind, but it is a love that will never leave you. Your faith journey is only possible because love won out over our sinfulness. When we journey together properly, we don't just get it from above. We will experience that love through the people around us. You will find yourself giving it as much if not more than you are taking.

Love is a beautiful thing, and yes it is real.

New Link

I've inserted a new link over on the righthand side of the page - Asbury Bloggers Society. I hope they'll include me. Pick me! Pick me!

I think it is the equivalent to the Skull and Bones society at Yale. Except without all the cool things like secret hand shakes, extreme partying, past, present and future presidents, one-world government end time connections and conspiracy theories. There are some interesting posts to be found though.

Feeling the Heat

This week promises to be a scorcher. Temps are forecasted to break 100 in my neck of the woods. All last week they hovered around the triple digit mark. We've been carefully planning our daily activities to avoid the heat of the day whenever possible. Overall the summer hasn't been that bad. I've seen a lot worse. The humidity rose substantially a few weeks ago, but again, this has been a pretty cool summer, no pun intended.

All this heat reminded me of a saying I heard a while back. "It's hot, but Hell's hotter. Don't go there." It was said in jest and yet it was also obvious to anyone listening that the person saying this was giving a half-hearted suggestion to whomever might be listening that eternal damnation in the lake of fire was something to be avoided. I believe this person spoke with all sincerity in his concern for someone's soul. Many of us have been exposed to the sincere efforts of someone (whether a "professionsal" evangelist or just a friend) to scare us into Heaven.

I believe in a literal Hell that fits all the descriptions you would expect a preacher to believe in. However, I'm not sure how effective or even appropriate such an approach is to helping someone see the need to be on a faith journey. There is a time and place where the reality of Hell needs to be discussed. I just don't believe it's at the beginning of the journey.

Lots of people interpret such tactics as intimidation. I've heard countless stories from people very dear to me who feel bitter resentment at such an approach being used on them. They sincerely believed all that was being said to them but something in the approach and forcefulness of the speaker left a bitter taste in their mouths that caused them to turn back later. Some people have galvanized their resistance to Christianity because of it.

Some of the people reading this aren't going to like it. I'm going to be accused of watering down the Gospel. My faith is going to be questioned. That's ok. If you visit here frequently and read the comments of others, you'll know I get hit from both sides of the fence. So for those of you who disagree, be kind and comment appropriately. For all of you, I'd like to hear about your experiences with someone trying to tell you about the need for a faith journey. Was it positive or negative and why? If you said "Yes", why? If you said "No", why? I'll be here looking for a cool spot while I wait.

Relationships anyone?

No, this is not an indication that I am now running an online dating service. But it will give you an idea of where this post is heading. It all started last Wednesday night (cue strumming harps and wavy pictures as we enter memory mode) . . .

The family and I went to see the Durham Bulls play Wednesday night. They're the triple-A affiliate of the major league baseball Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Minor league ball games are always great places to take the family because they really cater to families, providing lots of wholesome, family friendly entertainment. The level of play, at least in Durham, is usually pretty good and the park is just the right size so that there are no bad seats in the place. unless you're in the outfield. I don't care how small the park, if you're in the outfield, it's never a good seat. But I digress.

As the game was beginning, five women and a toddler came and sat two rows ahead of us. My wife and I waited a few minutes, looking for the men to show up. This was afterall a sporting event. Not that women can't enjoy sports, but usually when given a night out, women don't choose the ball park. No men ever showed up. It became clear it was just these ladies, enjoying a night out, even if they had one kid in tow.

At the end of the second inning, another peculiar thing happened. All five got up together and left. Lest you think I'm being chauvinistic or at least stereotypical in my judgments, my wife was the first to say, "I guess they've had enough." I joked and said maybe they had to go to the bathroom. I guess the same rule applies to the concession stand because within minutes, they returned, each with food and drink.

During the slow parts of the game, I watched the women interact. They appeared to be enjoying the game but they appeared to be enjoying one another's company more. Throughout the game, they would switch seats with one another in order to be able to converse with a different person. Guys don't do that. We stay where we are and just shout over the five people between us when we want to speak to the guy on the end. That works for us, so it's ok. Don't judge us ;-)

It's widely talked about that women are better at relationships than men. I'm not ready to agree 100% with the notion that men stink at relationships. We just do it differently. What these women did illustrate and remind me of though was the importance of healthy relationships, however you maintain them. (Healthy is the key word there) When you are on a faith journey it is important to maintain healthy relationships with other people also on a faith journey. That does not mean to restrict those relationship building times to church, Bible study, or some other "spiritual" thing. Going to a ball game, fishing, playing ball, seeing a movie, scrapbooking, sharing a meal. . . anything that gets you doing life together is important and will have immeasurable benefits.

So, anyone up for some relationships?

This stuff is harder than it looks

Last week I was lucky enough to take a few days vacation at the beach with the family. I was also unlucky enough to have leave in the middle due to a conference I had to attend while they stayed for the whole week. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. As a whole, though, the week was pretty restful and I certainly needed that.

On Tuesday the boys and I decided to try our hand at fishing off the pier. They seemed excited about it and it would give me a chance to hone my Marlboro Man skills. We rented a couple of rods, bought some bait, and headed to end of the pier with dreams of bringing home supper that night. My youngest son aspired to catching a killer whale. After about fifteen minutes of sitting there waiting for a bite, the boys started to get bored. I tried to explain that sometimes the biggest part of fishing is waiting. Within twenty minutues, one of them was ready to call it quits. And he did. After forty-five minutes, the other one threw in the towel. They went back to the camper with their mom and I stayed for another hour or so with two rods all to myself.

I came home empty handed. As I looked around me, nobody else was catching any fish either. Well, almost nobody. Two guys behind me kept catching fish. They did not always catch a keeper - one time it was a sting ray. Another time it was a toad fish. Another time it was a ribbon fish (this was kept for bait). But at least they were catching something. I looked at their rods. I looked at their tackle. I looked at the water they were casting into. For the most part, they were not doing anything any different than the other fifty or so people on the pier, yet they were the only ones reeling in fish.

Now, I have to ask the obvious question - Why? Is it because they were indeed smoking Marlboro's? Other people were smoking - maybe they had the wrong brand. That's probably not it. Was there something subtle they knew that the rest of us did not? My brother-in-law works for Hendrick Motorsports. He gave me a tour of the engine department. He explained that cameras are forbidden there because a trained mechanic could look at a casual photo and examine it to discover some trade secrets. All I saw was a bunch of metal being bored, ground, and molded into engine parts. Maybe all this is harder than it looks.

Here comes the real question that I know you are just waiting for. What if our faith journeys are the same? Is a faith journey harder than it looks? Yes and No. When we begin a faith journey, God helps us all along the way to stay on that journey and live for him. At the same time, it's not as simple as baiting a hook and throwing it overboard. There are skills and techniques that we must learn and develop along the way. Things like prayer and Bible reading are the most basic and probably most important. Sometimes they are really easy. Sometimes we have to work at it.

Now I pose a question for you. What part of your faith journey has been harder than it looked? Think about it. For now, I'm going to go see if I can improve my luck with some worms. I hope changing bait will work because I don't want to take up smoking. Just a thought.

Why am I awake?

It's 1:00 am and I'm not asleep. WHY?! I was really tired when I went to bed over 2 hours ago. I even fell asleep pretty quickly. My wife came to bed about an hour later and I woke up enough to roll over. And lie there awake. And roll back over and lie there awake. And then roll back over and lie there awake.

After 20 minutes of this, I decided to get up, check my email and check on some items I have up for sale on ebay (some vintage gen 1 Transformers that have been in storage for 20 years). Lest you think I am violating the principles of last week's post, let me explain. I got up because I know how this works. Unless I am completely exhausted, twenty to forty minutes of sleep will make my body feel likes its completely rested and ready to go. Such is the case tonight. As I type this, my mind is tired, my eyes are itchy & burning, and I hope to sleep soon if the rest of my body will cooperate.

Somewhere in this is a spiritual lesson. Like a lot of things, we want the quickest, shortest, easiest route. Those aren't always the best. I may be able to go on spurts of 30 minute naps, but eventually I will pay the price. OR the lesson may be that I am too impatient and needed to give it more than twenty minutes before giving up. There's truth in that also. OR just maybe there's no lesson at all. I could just be a guy who can't sleep and is filling his time with ramblings about his sleep patterns that nobody else cares about. Maybe there are some things in life where there are no spiritual applications. Those are my random thoughts at 1:12 am in the morning. What are yours?

I'm Back!

It's good to be home. I spent the last two weeks directing camp for 1st thru 6th graders. Click here to see some of the pics. It was a great two weeks being part of the faith journeys of 331 kids, but like I said, it's good to be home. It's good to get some rest.

Rest is an important part of our faith journeys. God didn't take a day off because he ran out of things to do. He modeled something important for us. If we don't rest, we eventually fall apart. I know a college professor at a Christian college who routinely tells his students to go get some sleep when they come to him with spiritual problems. It's amazing how a lack of rest adversely affects our decision making, even in spiritual matters.

On at least two occasions in my life, a lack of rest became a serious issue. In the fall of 2001 I hit the brick wall of burnout from not managing the many items on my plate in a healthy manner. It took several months for me to recover emotionally and spiritually from that time. Two weeks ago, as the first week of camp begin, I was teetering on the brink of going to a similar place. I had been averaging about 4 hours sleep per night over the last six months. What made this time end differently was the presence of friends who cared about me and were willing to take the reins. I gave them the director's hat and left camp for a day. I checked into a hotel and slept til almost noon the following day.

We underestimate the value of rest in anything we do. God wants us at our best, not our worn out, barely hanging on selves. As you journey, take a look at your struggles. Do you need some rest? Who can take the reins for you so you can? Just a thought.

Not Alone part 2

A friend of mine who knows I'm preparing to run a half marathon is working hard to make sure I'm prepared. He's the only person who asks me regularly how my running is going. He keeps volunteering to run with me because he plans to run as well. Problem is this guy is like a machine. He works out all the time. He lies down on the floor while the kids from church all jump up and down on his stomach and he never flinches. He even offered to run at my pace. When he told me what his "slow days" were, I 'bout had a heart attack. If I want to survive to run in November, I need to get in better shape before running with this guy.

Running is one of those things I've always done alone, except when I coached high school cross country. Then I would run with my team. Most of them had no idea how hard I struggled to keep up with the best. Luckily I had the excuse of having to hold back to keep the rear half moving. I really do want to run with my friend because I know that I will get in shape a lot faster with him pushing me. I just worry about surviving the pushing!

My faith journey has always benefitted when I "ran" with someone who was much better than I. I could watch their lives and see how they handle things. I could learn to "do" things like them. I can look back and see how I grew.

There have been times where someone wanted to "run" with me so they could grow in their faithi journeys. It was an honor and privilege to be part of their spiritual growth. I had to be careful not to push them too hard beyond what they were capable of. That is not always easy to determine as a coach. Many times those of us with more experience forget that we had to work ourselves into spiritual shape.

How is your running going? Who do you need to begin training with, either for your benefit or theirs? Just a thought.

I'm Not Alone

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with some people about one of my favorite things in the whole world - peanut butter. I was lamenting the continued absence of my brand of choice - Peter Pan reduced fat crunchy. In fact, there is no Peter Pan to be found of any type. I know I've ranted about this before, but this has got to stop. I need my peanut butter. I haven't found any other brand that I like.

An interesting thing happened. In the small group of about twenty that I was speaking to, several heads began to nod in sympathy, no make that empathy. We all shared our frustration with the long wait we are enduring for the creamy crunchy nectar of heaven made by Peter Pan to return to the shelves. They too had tried other brands and the other brands had come up short. I learned I was not alone. The five or six of us continued to talk off to the side about our woes with regards to our forced abstinence from one of our favorite foods.

It is good to discover you are not alone in your suffering, especially in more serious matters. After suffering through occupational burnout and a near nervous breakdown, I was surprised and relieved to discover just how many of my colleagues had gone through similar experiences. Even though I was well into my recovery at the time, it was encouraging to learn that my experience was somewhat normal. It is always amazing to watch the look on someone's face when they are sharing their troubles and someone else comes along and says, "Me too!"

I've said this before, but it's worth saying a thousand more times, this is one of the reasons you should never journey alone. We need to find others that will journey along the path of faith with us. They will be able to say, "Me too!" when times get hard and their experiences can become learning tools and support for us. We can "pay it forward" by doing the same for someone else down the road. Everyone benefits when they do it together. Just a thought.

Yard Work revisited

This morning I mowed most of my yard. I only mowed most of it because my oldest son is at the age where he wants to start mowing the lawn. Right now it only appears to be cool. I'm sure it won't be long before the coolness wears off this chore. I saved him a small patch on the corner for him to begin practicing his skills with the push mower. Tonight, after supper, he will make his lawn mowing debut. It may even turn out to be the beginning of every boy's first paying job - mowing the neighborhood lawns.

But my son's debut is not what prompted this thought. The last time I mowed, I noticed something about how I felt. I've posted before how I felt about doing yard work - here and then again here and finally here. In that last post I really lamented the lawn mowing chore at our previous house. I don't have those feelings of dread when I mow my current lawn. And I have approximately twice as much lawn now.

The difference is in the equipment. Before, all I had a was 22 inch push mower. Now I am using a big ol' John Deere 48 inch self propelled mower. This is a real man's mower. I bet the Marlboro man uses one of these when he mows his lawn around the campsite. Someone who used to have a lawn maintenance business was kind enough to let me borrow this machine he no longer uses until I can get my own. It's amazing what having the right equipment will do to change your attitude toward a task.

Lots of us are stuck in jobs or situations we hate because we feel ill-equipped for the task at hand. Or we feel like we are expected to do something without the proper tools. Living a faith journey can sometimes be like that. We get intimidated by the perfect ideal set of expectations that seem impossible to fulfill. The good news is that God equips us for the journey. He doesn't want us to hate the yard work. He wants us to enjoy the manly pleasure of a huge piece of yard machinery. Well, maybe not that, but he does want us to enjoy and be successful along the journey. That why he gives us his Holy Spirit.

I'm glad he equips us. I've found myself in situations far bigger than me on lots of occasions. Without his equipment, I don't know what I would have done. Now, if my son can become fully equipped and capable soon . . . .

Can you hear me now?

For the past several weeks, I feel like I've been bombarded with the same message from God. Actually two different messages. I'm one of those people who actually believes I've heard the voice of God. I don't mean in the whisper of the wind or the beauty of a sunset. On a few occasions I'm 99.9999% sure that the audible voice spoken for me alone to hear was God's voice. On the other 3,439,923,653,459 times it was through other means like something I read (the Bible or some other book), a song I heard, the counsel of a friend, the criticism of a detractor, or that deep down feeling in my gut.

The last few weeks the messages have come through the more ordinary means listed above. As a result of the constant bombardment of one message, we have reached a decision as a family to begin actively pursuing the fostering to adopt process. We feel like we are being led to expand our family by welcoming in a child that needs a caring home. The other message is more of a personal message for me alone. I'm still trying to process what action, if any, I'm supposed to take. I'm trying to determine if he is pointing out something that needs correcting and by what means he wants me to take that action.

Listening to God's voice through his many communication channels is one of the most exciting, confusing, and scary activities I know. I am constantly asked how one knows what God wants them to do. I usually fall into my standard spiel that begins with paragraph 1 above. My own experience and the testimonies of many other people confirm that God will actually speak to you and you will recognize his voice through these means.

Sometimes you will hear people sort of jokingly say, "I wish God would speak to me in a burning bush so I'll know for sure." I've wished the same thing. In fact, I was sharing with a friend the other night a decision I've made and I'm 99% sure it's one I should make. Before I sign off on it as 100% sure, I'm waiting for God to tell me it's not. And my words were, "Unless God speaks to me in a burning bush and tells me otherwise, here's what I'm going to do . . ." I feel certain in a few weeks I'll know whether he has been silent or not on the matter.

Along our faith journeys, God guides us and leads us. He talks to us through all the ways listed above and more. There are times when he is speaking and we don't recognize his voice. There are other times when we mistake the voice of ourselves as the voice of God. How have you learned to recognize his voice? How has God been speaking to you? What kinds of things has been telling you?

Tales from Venus & Mars

A series of incidents have raised the subject of gender differences on my radar screen this week. The cover story of Newsweek deals with people who are transgender and the many definitions of that word. I received a comment on my post about The Disappearing Man that at least brought up male-female power interactions. I also finished Fusion Fire, the second book in The Firebird Trilogy by sci-fi wwriter Kathy Tyers. It was the book that created the most thoughts for me.

What spurred so many thoughts is the style of Fusion Fire. I'm sure that I will come under fire for this comment, but it is obvious (at least to me!) that this book was written by a woman. I'm certain that I have read sci-fi written by women before. Yet this is the first time that it was so obvious to me. One thing that gave it away was the romance. Other books have included romance and love affairs. This one had a distinctively different flavor from those other books authored by men.

Actually, this is the second time I've noticed it. A few weeks ago I read Arena by Karen Hancock. The romance was not as strong, but the main character was a woman. The point of view of book was written from a woman character's point of view. Again, it had that "flavor". It did not feel like a man author struggling to pretend to be a woman as he crafted the character. Honestly, it was hard for me to get into Arena or Firebird initially because the point of view felt so distinctly feminine and utterly different from what I usually find in sci-fi. I think when I recognized this, the barriers were finally shattered. I really enjoyed both books.

For those of you who think I'm full of it, I know at least one other person shares my assessment that you can tell the difference between a man's and a woman's writing. Go back and read the article in Newsweek. Read the related article about journalist Christine Daniels. She used to be Mike Penner. In the story you'll read about how he had to learn to do things the way a boy/man would do them because he said it did not come natural. That included writing. He (or she?) claims that just by reading a article he/she can tell you the gender of the author because of his thorough study.

And guess what? I think that men and women do things differently on their faith journeys. In my Disappearing Man post, I hinted at the idea that modern Christianity has somehow been feminized to the point that many men don't feel comfortable in church. Some of it is because church has become touchy-feely. There has been discussion among lots of people smarter than I that even the type of songs we sing in church are a turn off to men. Some have referred to these two factors and a few more as the combined "Jesus is my boyfriend" effect. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how such an atmosphere would turn away many men.

I think it's great that we have been made differently. That's one of the things that makes marriage so wonderful. Hopefully the husband and wife complement each other. I noticed even tonight as we tried to get the boys to bed. The evening had ended kind of rough and the boys were obviously feeling a little hurt emotionally. I could sense that they needed to connect emotionally with us before going to bed. But part of me, either the hurt little boy of my youth still inside of me or the hard nosed man image of society inside of me, wanted to say "Suck it up and go to bed. Tomorrow's a new day and we can all start fresh. Let this memory remind you of what's expected of you." At the same time, I could see my wife, without consciously doing anything, moving more into a nurturing role. Before someone accuses me of withholding love from my children, all emotional connections were made. The point is that at first glance, my wife and I naturally gravitated towards two very different responses.

Back to our faith journeys. There are more than gender differences that play into our faith journeys. Personality differences also dictate our lives. Gender differences are easier to focus on because it lowers the number of groups to just two - male & female. Faith communities need to help BOTH genders journey in the way that is most appropriate to them. Neither set of preferences should be lifted as the ideal or best.

I've got some specific thoughts that deal primarily with men. Since I'm not a woman, I can only speculate on how woman have felt. I'd like to hear from you. What gender differences have you experienced that either helped or hindered your faith journey?

Becoming the Marlboro Man - instant version

Last week the family and I took a few days off to go camping in the mountains of NC. We camped at Grandfather Campground, located at the base of Grandfather Mountain. It was another step in becoming the Marlboro Man. I've got photos to prove I'm getting closer to my goal. The boys each caught a 3 pound trout and that night we cooked a portion of it over an open fire.

Of course, there are a few questions as to whether I am actually any closer to my goal. First, my sons are the ones who actually caught the fish. Second, they caught them at a stocked pond. I estimate the baited hooks were in the water less than 30 seconds before a fish grabbed them. In all seriousness, I don't really think I'm instantly Mr. Outdoorsman.

We live in a society where we are accustomed to things happening instantly. We want it and we want it now. We want plug and play computer and home entertainment devices. We want quick dissolve, fast acting medicines. We want to cook all our meals in a microwave and we don't even want to program them. Make sure they have popcorn, baked potato, bread & roll, and instant defrost buttons.

We even want instant progress on our faith journeys. We to avoid any struggle that might benefit us. We want to avoid any of the hard work that faith requires. We want a walk in a rose garden. Yet we grow the most when we have to struggle. It's when you wrestle with those hard questions that your faith journey benefits the most. When I look back at those times when I struggled the most, I see the times of most growth in my life.

I may not have become the Marlboro Man instantly last week, but I did learn a few things. That's important to remember too. You may not be as close to the goal as you would like, but you are probably closer than you were when you started. There are also other benefits. Fresh trout cooked over an open fire sure is good.