I Forgot!

Don't you hate it when you are getting ready to say something, and it's really profound, then you open your mouth to speak and POOF! the thought is gone? The older people in my life tell me I'm way too young to have that problem. Something must be seriously wrong with me then because I've had this problem for a LONNNG time. I sat down to post something this morning and I was really excited about it. As soon as my fingers hit the keyboard, it was gone! How does that happen?!

My children frequently tell me they forgot. "I forgot to fix my bed" "I forgot you told me never to bludgeon or drop kick my brother" "I forgot you told me never to throw rocks at the car or the house" "In the 10 seconds it takes me to walk from the kitchen to the bathroom I forgot you told me to brush my teeth" and so on.

Voters forget all the time. And so do their representatives! Politicians conveniently forget what they promised their constituients they would do in office and the voters forget to hold them accountable for it come election time.

We forget to pick up the drycleaning or the milk on the way home. We forget to pay the credit card bill. While we are in the shower and already 10 minutes late for work we realize we forgot to pick up more shampoo & deodorant and we forgot to do any laundry the night before. How does that happen? Why does our memory become so clear at the moment of crisis, standing there dripping wet with nothing to wash with, nothing to keep us from sweating and smelling, and it not really not being an issue anyway considering we have nothing to wear?

So many times on our faith journeys we forget a lot of important stuff. We conveniently go along with our lives, forgetting what God has done for us. The nation of Israel sure did it a lot. Read the Old Testament. But, as soon as they realized they were out of shampoo or the Assyrian army was knocking on their door, a moment of clarity came to them. Didn't God get us out of this before?

Those of us on a faith journey today are just as guilty as those Israelites. We bee bop along living happily ever after, many times forgetting the big and small things God has done for us along the way. Does it make him love us any less? No. Is that reason crises comes along? Not necessarily. Would life be better if we didn't forget? You betcha.

Some of us haven't forgotten because we never really knew. Some people are still contemplating whether or not to buy a ticket for this journey. Even for those people, I bet if they looked back on their lives, they would find something they could point to and say, "God did it." I'd grab that memory and find out how to make more.

Forgetting can be good if it helps us to remember the next time. Even that can be redeemed. By the way, don't forget to bring home more milk.

A New Look (inside)

First, thanks to those of you who commented on my last post. Second, thanks to those who came back this week to see if I did resume posting. Just a Thought will continue with something new each week (hopefully). Yeah, I know what you are thinking. "Whew! I don't think I could get by without it." I do hope that for someone each week, this blog will provide some insight that the other 55 million and growing blogs do not.

Which brings me to my purpose. I began this blog for two reasons.
1) To encourage those on a journey of Christian faith to go deeper and farther in their journeys. I set for myself the probably impossible goal of having the impact of a 30 minute sermon in the space of a pocket devotional. From the few offline comments I have received, I think I'm on the right track.
2) I want this blog to be a place where someone not on a faith journey can find connections from matters of faith to their own lives. I had all sorts of visions of the cool, relevant topics that I might write about. I think I have missed the mark on the "cool, relevant" part. But I do think that a person searching for faith and meaning can find those connections here.

Another issue was at work within me two weeks ago when I pushed pause on Just a Thought. I was feeling terribly shallow in my understanding of my own faith. I felt inadequate in my knowledge. I felt I had grown complacent about my own spiritual growth for the sake of my growth as a leader and "producer". I believe God directed me into self-diagnostic and repair mode through several different avenues - other blogs I read regularly, discovery of rusty skills and forgotten knowledge when preparing for a particularly theological heavy sermon, and the growing dissatisfaction of just going about the regular routine and not seeing anything new happen.

So, I did something new. I started a new blog last week. It's very different from this one. It's more like a systematic Bible study and theology class. Actually, it's not like that, it is exactly that. It's there to help me keep my mind sharp. I've also opened myself up to further criticism if people much smarter than I ever read it. And it is a place where I will probably be much more introspective. Though it will appear to be more academic, I hope to keep it plain enough that anyone could understand. That shouldn't be too hard, considering the skill level of the author ;-) BTW, if you do check out the new blog, be sure to start at the bottom of the page. I've already got a few posts there.

But what about here? Do I have any thoughts for this space? I sure do. I spent last week writing a bunch and storing them as drafts for when the time is right. For now, let me encourage you to enter your own self-diagnostic mode. Whatever your stage on your faith journey, it's good to just evaluate your progress. Are you satisfied? Is there anything you'd like to change? Any questions you need to tackle or have someone answer for you? If you are still contemplating the leap into a faith journey, look inside and figure out why.

Thanks for coming back. See you next week.

What are your thoughts?

I read this week that the 50 millionth blog appeared this past summer. 175,000 are added every day. The blogosphere doubles in size every six months.

Which got me to thinking. Out of what is now probably close to 55 million blogs, what makes mine so special? Why even bother? I know why I originally started it, but I don't think it is living up to my vision, if you catch my drift. Maybe it's the pressure of feeling like I have to write something powerful and thought provoking every week.

I had hoped there would be more interaction here with whomever reads it. Perhaps that has been low because of the way in which I have written.

I need your help. Please post some kind of comment. I'm begging for attention. Please notice me! Seriously, I would like to know if anybody really reads this. If they do, I'd like to know what they think. I'd like to know what they'd like to read more of. What do you think this blog's purpose should be?

At any rate, "Just a Thought" will go off the air until Oct 30. In the meantime, tell me what you want to find here.

In the words of Walter Cronkite, "Thank you, and Good Night."

What time is it?

Someone's going to accuse me of being lazy because I've not posted anything new this week until Wednesday. But timing is everything. You gotta have time to do it. And you gotta have someething to say. Some weeks I have more to say than I have time. Others I have more time than I have things to say, at least meaningful things to say. Some weeks I have neither. I'll let you decide which kind of week this is.

Timing is everything in many areas of life. Just ask a major league hitter. Or an all-pro quarterback. Or a race car driver. I know a guy who drag races as a hobby. He says that races are lost by THOUSANDTHS of a second. Timing is everything.

Timing is everything in the world of business. Analysts always offer critique on how some corporation released their product too late and lost out to the competition. Anybody remember the tech stock bubble of the late 90's? I know a lot of people who wished they had been given more time.

Timing is everything in a faith journey. Many people don't realize this. I like to think of matters of faith as equivalent to matters of my health. If I wait too long to go to the doctor, things can become worse, much worse. I read the sad account of a woman in her 30's who just refused to go to the doctor until she knew it was too late. I was reading about her funeral.

For those of us on a faith journey, there will be numerous opportunities to speed up or take a turn to unexplored territories. We might debate them, then decide to go for it. But we miss out on some important gains because we got in too late. Sadly, we usually decide to stay on our current course and not take the risk at that time. And time passes as we miss out.

Timing is everything for people not on a faith journey. Things happen in life that point us in the direction of faith, in the direction of God. We wonder if now is the right time. We decide maybe not. Then another opportunity comes along. We wonder if the right time is then. If we choose not, the cycle repeats. Usually.

I think we eventually run out of time. I don't mean that someday we all die so sieze the moment, although that's not a bad idea. I think you can live the remaining 30 years of your life, yet the time has run out on your chance to take a faith journey. I have no hard evidence, but I have enough anecdotal evidence to rival War and Peace in its length. You can only say "No" so many times before people quit asking.

What time is it in your life? What step of faith, if any, is being asked of you?

Painful thinking

Today I received a phone call that disturbed me in many ways. It will take several hours to recover from this call. The caller asked for the singles minister because he had some questions about Christianity. I let him know that I was the only staff person and would be happy to answer his questions. He quickly let me know he was not interested in talking to the pastor of any church.

We did talk for probably about 30 minutes, maybe more. Probably more. I honestly lost track of time. Most of it was about everything that was wrong with the church, especially pastors. I listened to the well-rehearsed and deeply felt opinions of this gentleman regarding the financial racket on which the church is built. I answered his questions about my ministerial experience and background, the grounds for which I left all my other previous ministerial posts, etc. Throughout this conversation, it was clear to me that I would not be changing his mind on anything. In fact, when I agreed to enter this conversation with the caller, I knew it would end with me confirming everything he believed about the church, and especially pastors. And it did. I finally chose to end the conversation and did what he told me I would do in the beginning - I hung up on him.

After hanging up the phone, I waited for an immediate callback, even though I knew it would not come. I had already proved his point. Then because of some things that were said, I spent a considerable amount of time in prayer, trying to clear my mind and settle my emotions. Lest you think I hung up in anger or had to take a chill pill, that was not the case. Without any better way to put it, I was disturbed. Deeply disturbed.

It was clear in the beginning of our conversation that I was talking to someone who had been deeply hurt. He even gave me a count - eight times he had been "burned" by the church and pastors. He did not give me any details and I would not share them with you if he had. I have some guesses as to what may have happened. This much I know. This gentleman was carrying around a significantly sized wound that had turned into a rather ugly scar on his emotions. And that scar was preventing him from actually being able to receive the healing he so desperately wants and needs.

I later determined why I was so disturbed. Underneath all this guy's pain was evil. There was something in his voice that rang out evil. The caller was not evil. Nor do I believe him to be a particulary bad person. But his pain was evil. It was caused by evil. And evil was taking up residence in order to ensure his pain never left and forever kept him crippled.

Why do I tell you this? Because we live in a world where things sometimes go wrong. And they go wrong in the church too. Despite being the Body of Christ, the church itself is made up of fallen creatures who have been redeemed, who are in the process of being made perfect but aren't there yet. That is still no excuse for any of the atrocities that have been perpetrated by the church or its leaders. But is the reality.

Why do I tell you this? Because we live in a world where things sometimes go wrong. And there are a lot of casualties out there. The journey to healing is a faith journey. It is a journey to and with the source of ultimate healing - Jesus Christ.

Some of you may have scar tissue building up right now. For whatever reason, your pain and suffering, in whatever form it has taken, has become so familiar to you that it is easier to hold onto than it is to let go. The pain you know by keeping it is preferable to the pain that might come and you don't know if you try to let go of it and seek healing. My prayer for you is the same as my prayer for the caller - God, I pray that the power of your healing will somehow sink in and penetrate beyond the hurt. God let them find healing.

I don't usually use this space to blatantly "push Jesus" on people. I created it to provide a place for people to find a connection to their own thoughts and experiences. I always hope that connection leads them to Jesus and that they see him as the journey itself. But, if your thoughts today are painful ones, bitter ones, thoughts that keep healing away, I think you should know about some of your options.

Just a thought . . .

Just no thoughts

I have nothing profound this week. I tried to get my wife to be the guest host and write something. "I'm not a writer," was her response. I said, "You don't have to be a writer. You just need to have a thought." She then replied, "I don't think. I'm a mom." I gave up.

I've reinstituted part of my exercise routine. I've begun jogging again. I've even revived my almost 30 year old goal of running a marathon. I made a public statement the other day that I will run a marathon before I turn 40. That gives me a little better than two years to go from an overweight, out of shape desk jockey to a plain old desk jockey.

I forgot how much I like to run. My mind sorta shuts down while I run. Thoughts and ideas run in and out of my head. I'm somehow able to process them without allocating any storage space to them. When I finish my run, those thoughts are all gone. Yet I'm sure that later that day or that week, I will act on the basis of one of those processes.

On most days, I just move along on my faith journey without any great divine revelations or major crises to deal with. My mind is sorta shut down. Lots of thoughts will run in and out of my mind and I can process them from a faith journey perspective. I usually don't make any major conscious decisions regarding my faith and how I interpret the world around me. At least not on a day to day basis. But somehow, as a result of the offline processing, new understandings or affirmations of prior ones get stored in my mind. Then on those days when I do need to make an important decision, interpret an important event, or even deal with a crisis, part of the work is already done. I can summon from mental storage my understanding and belief on the matter, then make that all important decision.

One nice thing about shutting down is getting to just listen. When I'm out jogging, leave the iPod at home and I listen to the bugs, the birds, and even the traffic. Going offline on my faith journey with no particular issue to deal with allows me to just listen to voice of God. The lack of noise from everything else, especially my own thoughts and agenda makes it easier to hear him. I can process his words and put them away for later use.

Maybe having no thoughts is the best way to just have a thought.

What about Faith?

This morning I planned to comment on the movie Glory Road but as I quickly scanned the news headlines when my home page came up, I felt moved to do something different. Today's the 5th anniversary of 9/11. It's something that for the most part I think is "forgotten" by the American public at large. It's more like something we view as a historical event event, akin to Pearl Harbor. We know it happened. We know it was devastating on many levels. We know it deserves recognition every year, but our day to day lives are mostly untouched by it. Those of you who fly on a regular basis or who may work in the industries associated with national security may feel differently. But Average Joe American leads a life untouched.

I'm Average Joe. It was not mentioned in my church yesterday. I'm the pastor so that was an oversight on my part. I even made myself a note last week and posted it in a spot where I would see it on Sunday morning to remind me to acknowledge the effect 9/11 has had on our country and the lives of its victims. Yet in the course of the average Sunday morning service it was forgotten.

My life has been untouched. Until this morning. I had turned on the news to get the weather forecast and I saw a live shot of the many people and officials lined up at the Ground Zero memorial. My oldest son asked me what they were doing. I simply replied that they were commemorating 9/11. He proceeded to ask why. When I asked if he knew what 9/11 was, he knew it had something to do with planes and buildings blowing up. Despite having factual knowledge, he could not comprehend the implication such an event had on our national security or just our sense of feeling safe.

So I stood there, wondering just how deep to go. How much do I share about the reality of 9/11 and shatter my son's feeling of safety in the world around him? How much do I educate him on the reality of bad things happen in the world around us and many times there is not a lot we can do about it? How do I explain the reality of war while trying to provide a proper description on valid uses of it without getting into the minutae of our current political situation and whether it fits into that matrix?

My life has been touched by 9/11 in a way I never imagined. As I stood with my 8 1/2 year old in the living room, I assure you I had more than just one thought. "How do I protect my son?" "My children are growing up too quickly." "What do I really believe about the war in Iraq?" "Why does the world have to be such a scary place sometimes?" are just a few.

Honestly, I'm not sure how to relate this to our faith journeys, which is the real reason for this blog. There are lots of paths I could follow. I could address the problem of evil. I could address the reality of you never know when your life might end, so live each day to its fullest and make sure you are ready to face life after death. Those seem too easy, too simple, too much like pop theology or bumper sticker fodder. Today I am hit with the gut-wrenching reality of real life, led by real flesh and blood, that has real responsibilities in the here and now for not only my own life and ideas, but for the lives and ideas of others. My family is the most important set of others. I have a certain level responsibility for even more - for those people who call me "Pastor". If a faith journey is all I say it is, then it has to apply to THIS reality.

Actually I know to relate it to my faith journey, but not with hard statistical data. I know how the mystical side of me experiences peace I don't always understand. I know that I sometimes possess wisdom that cannot be accounted for on the basis of my knowledge or other experiences. I know that life is sometimes complicated yet it can be fairly easily figured out by following the mostly simple guidance of how to live it found in the ultimate faith journey guide - the Bible.

Sorry for the unusually heavy thoughts this morning. I'm sorry that some of you will be disappointed that I didn't give you a sufficiently explained tie-in. I can only respond to that by saying isn't a faith journey supposed to be about faith? Sometimes we aren't going to have the answers. We're just going to have our lives before us. Just a thought.

If I Had a Hammer

I have a hammer that is of immeasurable value to me. There's nothing particularly fancy about it. Just a standard hammer with a soft rubber like grip of some sort on the handle. It's covered with paint and caulking. The hammer is at least forty years old. It belonged to my great-grandfather, Poppy.

I once thought I had lost that hammer. I nearly instantaneously vomited at the thought. That's how much it means to me. Someone needed to borrow a hammer one time. Luckily they said, "Do you have a hammer I can borrow?" instead of "Can I borrow your hammer?" I was able to answer truthfully and without selfish guilt, "Sorry. I don't have a hammer you can borrow."

I'm not a carpenter. Just your average family handyman. I use that hammer for all my hammering needs. Occasionally I will use one of my kids' hammers if I need something light because of the nature of the job. I once used a hammer in the toolbox I keep in my wife's car for emergencies. It just didn't feel right. I have Poppy's hammer and it works great.

Poppy was a boat builder. He built wooden boats the old fashioned way in his backyard (which was my front yard). He even lost two of his fingers doing it. So the hammer is a sacred relic that connects me to my coastal heritage which has no contemporary manifestation. Sometimes I can hold that hammer and I swear that I can smell the sawdust as Poppy cuts and planes those juniper planks. I smell the paint and varnish used to help keep barnacles from growing on the bottom once the boat was put overboard. I can even smell his sweat and the sweet smell of Red Man on his breath.

Sometimes I hold that hammer and I think of Poppy's celebrity. The big town newspaper from Raleigh, The News & Observer, did a couple of stories on him before he died and his dying vocation of boat building. (I was even in one of those. I'm the cute four year old sitting on the bow of the boat.) He was in a book written by a journalist who traveled down the Intracoastal Waterway by boat. Somehow, this guy ended up on Harkers Island and met Poppy. There was even a picture of him in the NC History textbook used by many of the elementary schools in our state with a caption referring to his use of natural resources. When that book came to the schools back home, it generated quite a buzz.

I think a lot of just who Poppy was. Even though he died thirty-two years ago, there are still quite a few people back home who are old enough to remember him. And every single one of them have nothing but respect and good things to say about Mr. Stacy.

Right after I graduated from college, my father gave me Poppy's hammer. He gave it to me in part because I simply needed a hammer and had no tools to speak of. But he also gave it to me as an exercise of trust. He made me keeper of the flame. I'll never forget his words. They were few and simple. "This is Poppy's hammer. Don't lose it." and that was it. We both knew nothing else need be said.

Last fall I sorted through my deceased father's tools. My boys called him Poppy. My Poppy and their Poppy had a lot of similar character traits. My dad was an civilian aircraft mechanic at a Marine Air Station. I took some old ratchets and sockets and divided them up into two groups. At Christmas, I gave each one of my boys a set. I gave them these simple words. "These were Poppy's. Don't lose them."

Some things are too important to not pass on. Faith, character, and values are at the top of the list. Poppy passed all these along to my father, who passed them to me. Hammers and other tools follow close behind in importance. Arlo Guthrie (no relation, but quite interestingly an appropriate reference) sang, "If I had a hammer, I'd hammer all over this land." Well, I've got a hammer. I intend to use it everywhere I go.

Speak softly and carry no stick

I've relearned an important lesson this week. It's amazing how powerful a soft response (or even no response) to a bitter, angry, outburst can be. This is true whether it be your child, parent, spouse, co-worker, employer, ________ , you fill in the blank. As I was dealing with one such situation this week, I was talking to myself the entire time to not lash back at the other person. During this me, myself, and I conversation, another voice entered in and posed the following question, "What secret hurt do you think is causing the other person's pain?"

WOW! I thought. How easy it is to forget little simple things like that. When I began to try to get inside the other person's head and hear his or her self-talk, it really made a difference in how I viewed the situation. I no longer felt like the target. I realized I was just collateral damage. I no longer felt like a failure in my inability to manage the situation. I began to think of empathetic solutions that would not only promote healing in the other person, but also move us beyond the impasse.

When it was all over, I remembered all the other times this has proven helpful. In fact, someone who witnessed one of this events was impressed and commented on my "excellent leadership." I don't think I would take that assessment too far. I just practiced something real simple and in the end, something real loving.

This isn't a new leadership lesson from the Harvard School of Business gurus. The Book of Proverbs in the Bible, chapter 15 and verse 1, written between 2500 and 3000 years ago, says that a gentle answer turns away wrath. So besides just the interpersonal communication advice, there's another important lesson here. There are actually some important AND relevant things in the Bible. It's not just a book filled with fantastic stories. Of course, I personally believe all those stories are true and that even the most fantastic have relevance to my life. My faith journey is made possible in large part because of it.

So, while I continue to use my Bible to inform all things in my life, I will also try to speak a little softer. Just a Thought.

"Receiving" the Power of Forgiveness

I've written about forgiveness twice here already. Once about giving it and another about whether it's real. However, something hit me like a ton of bricks today. What about the power of RECEIVING forgiveness? On a real superficial level, a lot of us have experienced the relief of receiving only a warning ticket instead of a sure-fire insurance rate raising speeding ticket. Many of us have been caught in one or more lies and eventually forgiven.

I have offended friends, coworkers, family, . . . . . , in one form or another and caused sometimes very deep hurts. In those times where the offended party extended undeserved forgiveness, I remember the emotional release it created in me. I remember the freedom I felt to resume normal relations with that person. And I remember the awareness of grace that had been extended to me.

Today was one of those days for me. I was very graciously forgiven. I knew I would be eventually offered such, but not this soon. I gained a deeper appreciation of just how much that person cared about me. I witnessed and experienced firsthand the sacrifice of one's own feelings for the importance of relationship and the greater power of love. It was a divine thing.

Today's experience reawakened my appreciation for what has been done for me so I could be on a faith journey. My journey, like the journey of many people, is filled with events that moved me gradually in a specific direction. But it has a definite point in time when I said this is the journey I want to be on and I knew I couldn't start until I received forgiveness. I remember the rush of joy, sorrow, relief, and so many other emotions when I realized that I had been loved enough to be forgiven even though I did not deserve it. It was the moving of divine grace on my life.

As I bask in the warmth of this grace-filled day, I am filled with many thoughts. I'm thinking a lot about grace. I'm thinking about how I have received it. I'm thinking about the power it has given me. And I'm realizing how much power I hold in my hands to give to someone else the next time they need some.

Who you are when you don't think anyone's watching

Last week we took our annual summer vacation. We spent a week with Mickey Mouse. We had a blast. It was nice to forget about the real world and chase a few june bugs.

Something very cool happened on Wednesday. I woke up thinking, "Wouldn't it be cool to see someone we know?" I don't know the exact numbers but Disney World gets like a billion visitors a day, literally from all over the world. So the chances were pretty slim. But not slim enough apparently.

I was browsing some overpriced merchandise, trying to help my youngest child spend the money that was burning a hole in his pocket. A young boy, about ten years old came up to me and said, "Aren't you Pastor Matt from the Children's Camp?" I confirmed his suspicion and asked his name. I don't know all the faces but I know almost all the names. As soon as he told me his name, I quickly identified his church and told him to say hi to some adults he would know for me.

As soon as he left, I was reminded of another event from the previous day. While walking to some attraction in the park, someone inserted herself and her daughter into the middle of our group. My youngest was with me, so our pace was naturally slower. I yelled ahead to my wife to say don't let too many people get between us. The woman huffed, made some rude comment about being too slow, and rushed past my wife. I remember thinking, "What a great example!" as I also noticed the shirts representing what I presume to be her church that her entire family was wearing.

It's been said that who we are when no one's watching should be the same when everyone's watching. What about when you don't think anyone's watching? I'm pretty sure more people are watching than we realize at all times. Unless you live alone, someone is always watching. I'm glad that right before that kid came up to me that I was not engaging in some less than honorable behavior.

Two thoughts. We must be mindful how our actions affect the faith journeys of those around us. We've all heard the hypocrite stories. Second, if you are one those watchers who is contemplating a faith journey, don't let the missteps of others discourage you. Keep on the journey that you're being called to. Move on around them if they are going to slow or are temporarily blocking your way, but do so with grace.

Just a thought.

Forgiveness & Hollywood revisited

I'm glad I'm not Mel Gibson. If you were to write his bio right now, you might call it The Crucifixion. You could sell it as a special boxed set with his movie The Passion of the Christ. In fact, a friend of mine even said that Mel is getting raked over the coals because he made that movie.

I just find it interesting how fickle our society is. Two years ago, Barbara Walters couldn't say enough good things about Mel. Now that Mel made some inappropriate comments due to the high levels of alcohol in his system, she wants nothing to do with him. The rest of Hollywood has followed suit. The average guy and gal on the street stands up and cheers, saying, "Down with Mel."

I'm not trying to justify what Mel said or did. Nor is he a close personal friend of mine whom I'm sticking up for. But come on people! How many of us have not said something totally stupid that we knew after the fact was going to cause a lot of ripples? Some have argued that a person in his position and influence should be more careful. True. But Mel Gibson is an actor, not a world leader. Incidentally, where were all these people when Jesse Ventura made his bone-headed statement about people of faith being stupid? He was a governor at the time and he was sober.

I'm starting to rant now, so let me reel myself in and get to the point. At some point, after many stated apologies by both Mel and his spokespeople, the world will forgive him. They'll forget it ever happened until the next time he even thinks about saying something derogatory about anything. Will this be real forgiveness? Or will it be some cheap version that only ensures the cash flow of those involved? Do we even know what real forgiveness is? Just a thought.

settling in - part 2

I began week 5 in my new office yesterday. It looks the same as it did last week. I don't know when I'll get around to unpacking it. Last week I said it was getting to me, hindering my productivity. Now it's just annoying. My fear is that soon I will become immune to its presence and not do anything about it, except maybe in 12 months.

That's the dangerous part about settling in. Sometimes settling in means settling for something less than you desire. That perspective will many times cause you to move backwards away from any of your goals. I can think of times in my faith journey when there was something I needed to correct. I knew it was unhealthy, counter productive, even counter active to anything good about my life. If I put it off long enough, I got so accustomed to it being there that I no longer noticed it. Twelve months would go by and my faith journey would be seriously suffering. If I traced my path backwards, I could pinpoint that unaddressed issue as a marker in time that caused my journey to deviate from the desired and preferred path.

Whatdya do in a case like that? The best thing is to fix it right then. I blew up my car by not addressing the issue right then. $2500 later I'm wishing I had acted a little more quickly. We have to not be embarrassed to let others help us if necessary. I need to get settled in the right way instead of settling for less. My office needs to be unpacked too. Just a Thought.+

Settling in - Part 1

We've been in our new house for three weeks now. It's mostly unpacked. We are at the dreaded 90% point where the house is set up and very livable. There are even a few pics on the wall. But, here and there, in the corner or behind the couch, lie the ever present yet to be unpacked box, waiting for us to decide if the stuff in it is a keeper, and then whether we will actually use it or just store it for another millenium. My office is even worse. After three weeks, I am 30% set up at best. I'm embarrassed for people to come in. I usually meet them at the door and say, "Let's meet in the conference room. I'm not quite unpacked yet."

I have intentionally neglected the office because there are some other matters that I feel need the bulk of my energy and focus right now. Putting books on a shelf and organizing a desk aren't necessarily mission critical activities. But the clutter is getting to me. It's like the steady beat of the Tell Tale Heart, reminding me of my sinful act of neglect. I find it hard to focus appropriately on those activities which ARE mission critical.

Our faith journeys are filled with times of moving. Sometimes they actually involve a physical move, but it is usually a time of change, marked by important decisions. Depending upon the uncertainty of the future or amount of personal change involved, these decisions can often necessitate a lot of follow up decisions or actions to take.

I can think of many times where moves such as this came in my faith journey and I very quickly got to the 90% mark. The last 10% was not as fun and took longer to accomplish, but I did it. I can also testify to times where 30% would be guessing high. And unfortunately, I never got beyond that point. You might even characterize some of those times as moments where I began "repacking" boxes and moving backwards.

In all parts of our life, we have to decide what is important. What are the mission critical elements that merit our time and energy? Our faith journeys are no different. The trick is deciding what those elements are. What things are going to get us closer to our goal, perhaps even further away from where we were? Once we do, we can get to 90% very quickly. Making moves are sometimes hard, but with effort we can get settled in pretty easily.

Incidentally, I tell everyone who asks about our move that this has been by far the easiest move we have ever made. And that includes at least two moves that were simply across town. You wanna know the secret behind why this one has been so easy? It's something you've read before on this blog. We didn't do it alone. We had so many supportive friends, new and old, who helped make it happen. Getting to 90% is a lot easier once you identify the crucial elements AND you get the help of people around you. Just a thought.

Chase the June Bugs

Last week we processed a batch of mixed emotions. My wife's grandfather passed away. He was a retired pastor and a wonderful man. We were obviously grieving at our loss, but we were peaceful at the same time. His suffering was over. And we know that he has reached the end of his faith journey. All the aunts and uncles were with him the moment he somehow found the energy to raise his arms above his head in an act of adoration, breathe three more breaths, and die. At that moment, when his body breathed its last breath, his soul left the fleshly body and arrived at the finish line that he had been racing toward most of his life. Honestly, despite the grief, it's hard not to celebrate at times, knowing the joy that GrandDad now experiences.

On Friday, as we stood in front of the church waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, I watched my youngest son play in the grass. He was chasing june bugs. He did not have a care in the world. He knew the situation and circumstances around him, but it did not stop him from enjoying life. I watched and grew envious of him. How come I seem to be unable to stop and chase june bugs?

I have a tag line that goes out on the bottom of most of my emails. I even had it engraved on my iPod. It says "Give Hope, Love Life, Praise God". I do really well at #1 and #3. My job makes that really easy. But the loving life, at least enjoying it, seems to be a constant struggle. Saturday, I beat myself up for not being able to do so more easily. Less than 24 hours after watching my son chase june bugs, I was ranting and raving, impatiently hurrying the boys to eat something so we could get out the door and not be even more late for an engagement. The whole time I'm doing so, I telling myself, "chase the june bugs". But I couldn't. At least I didn't.

Back in December when I came up with that tag line, I wanted something that communicated my perspective on life. Again, giving hope and praising God were easy. But I also needed to include a growing edge, a point of accountability, something others who know me well could look at and say, "Lighten up" when I need to. It's also a constant reminder to me that I need to work on it. In the middle of giving everyone else hope and enjoying the presence of God while on my faith journey, I need to enjoy life.

A faith journey isn't only about the end. The journey itself is supposed to be fun too. So before I join GrandDad and a lot of family and friends, I need to chase a lot more june bugs. Just a thought.

Unknown Connections

I don't if this is exactly true, but I heard someone say that you can in a crowd ANYWHERE and not be more than 10 people away from a connection to ANY person there. To further explain, I randomly pick a person from a crowd. We begin to talk and share about people we know or are related to. Soon we discover that we have mutual friends/relatives/acquaintances and if we trace the connections between the two of us, there won't be more than 10 people between us. It's an interesting theory to test out if you have the time and patience. I saw it demonstrated once at the conference where I heard it. If I remember correctly, there were 6 connections between the speaker and the randomly chosen contestant.

Last I went to our annual denominational conference for our district of churches. It's filled with the usual boring business and sometimes seemingly purposeless rants. But it can also be an enjoyable to time reconnect with old friends and colleagues you don't get to see on a regular basis. It was at this year's conference that I became acutely aware of the value unknown connections hold for our faith journeys.

Several years ago my family moved to the 'hood to begin an inner city ministry. During our five years there we spent a considerable amount of time networking in the city and throughout our district churches. The basic scenario for our district churches is that we would be invited to come to a church and share about the work we were doing. I never counted heads, but two years after leaving that place of ministry, I am confident there were several hundred people who were regularly praying for us.

There was particular church that I will always remember. It was a small rural church, more than 2 hours drive away. I was invited to come one Sunday night. During that time I shared about our desire to take as many of our neighborhood kids to camp that summer. Most of those kids would not have the basic toiletry items necessary to take for a week. Immediately, a group of women from this church rallied and put together kits for at least twenty kids. These included hand sewn carrying bags, as well as towels and washcloths. To top it off, one of them personally drove these to my home, two hours away.

This church did not stop with a one time material donation. They stayed connected. They sent encouraging emails. They always asked how the people in our neighborhood were doing. And they were crushed two years ago to hear we had a reached a decision to close down our organization.

Last week at our annual conference, I ran into a group of women from that church. I was amazed they were still so interested in that ministry. They really wanted a detailed explanation as to what happened. So, I sat down and shared all the details that went into that difficult decision - the struggles, the hardships, etc. As I shared, I saw my own pain echoed back on their faces.

When I stood to walk away at end of our conversation, I had an "a-ha" moment. A little voice spoke to me and said, "Can you imagine how hard it would have been if those women and many others like them had not been praying for you because I connected them to you?" I began to realize that all of us have people who are part of our faith journeys and we don't realize it. You never really journey alone.

As you reflect on your own journey, no matter where you are on that journey, remember you have unseen guides helping you along. Keep your eyes open because you just might see one.

Making a return on your investments

I just finished up two weeks of camp with first through sixth graders. During week 2, I had a thought about the whole process of camp and everything that happens there. For the four or five of you who read this blog regularly, you know my big issue of the moment is never take a faith journey alone. I usually talk about it from the perspective of what we receive from other people on our journeys. Over a bowl of ice cream with some teens serving as junior counselors, I began to look at the group journey a little differently.

Every year we have adult volunteers who use their vacation time to come and assist a group of children in their faith journeys. Each morning and each evening I get to hear stories of how they have helped a child or a group of children further their relationship with God. These adults are here because they want to invest in the spiritual lives of these children.

My wife and I have been fortunate here lately to hear how we have influenced people. We are preparing for a move to another church. Now that we are leaving, those whom we have influenced are kind enough to let us know how. Last week we had the privilege of expanding our influence. It was not in these exact words, but the basic message given to us by one individual was that we were the role models she hoped she and her future, yet still unknown, husband to be like one day. I cherish each moment like that. It's one of the reasons I exist. Because of my role as camp director, I was given even more opportunities to shape young leaders in training as I attempted to help them realize how God had created them and how they could in turn use their own influence in a postive way.

We all have a different sphere of influence. The people that my wife and I have influenced are different than the people another person might influence. I could never influence the people that the guy down the street can. And we each have a different way of positively impacting people. The important thing is that we wield that influence.

People with money say that in order to make money, you have to spend money. The same can be said for our faith journeys. In order to move along or grow, we must help others move along or grow. Journeying together means helping others, not just getting helped. Just a thought.

Calling Home

Last month I wrote about my father on Mother's Day. I promised to do the same on father's day and write about my mother. Well, I'm gonna keep my promise. The problem is my mother is still living. Well, her being alive is not a problem. That's actually very nice ;-) But I have to be careful what I say because she's still here to react to it ;-)

On this Father's Day, like the last four or five, I woke up at camp. The church camp where we take our kids every summer always begins on Father's Day it seems. While I was lying in the bed for those last few minutes before forcing myself to get up, I thought about all the kids who will be here this week. Some will get homesick. Many more Mom's will get "kid sick". They will worry about their child. They will call. They want their children to call. They want to come out and check on them. Dads don't do that. Only Moms.

I actually began to understand the phenomenon a little better when I thought about my relationship with my wife. There is a bond there that is not easiily broken because we have become one. We are part of each other's flesh. When a child comes into this world, it has to literally separate its flesh from the flesh of its mother. Yet despite being two totally autonomous beings, there is a bond there that is not easily broken.

I remember going on a trip to Washington DC with my class in middle school. Before getting on the bus, my dad told me to call home. I did not want to. I insisted I would be okay and would not need to call home. He looked at me very seriously and said, "Your mother needs you to." I've never forgotten that. Yet I don't much better at calling home enough. Sorry Mom.

So, what about our faith journeys? There is something inside of us that calls out to somebody. Something that leads us to begin or continue our journey. There is someething inside of us that yearns to call home to somebody. It's an urging that is not instinctual nor programmed. It's not a psychological need. It's a reality of having been connected to someone greater than ourselves and now wanting to reconnect.

On this Father's Day, think about the connection you have to your mother. Then give a thought to the connection to the Father on your faith journey. Give him a call. And Mom, I'll try to call this week.

Just a thought

The Long Haul

One of the four people who read my blog reminded me this weekend that I went almost a month without posting. In fact, he just quit checking and assumed I had stopped. I've done the same with a blog that I used to check regularly. I got tired of finding nothing new, so I stopped checking.

Life is like that. At least we live it like that. If something doesn't have some new upgrade or feature often enough, we abandon it. Our children are growing up believing that everything happens in 3-5 minute multimedia segments.

Last night my family played Monopoly. Because our boys are young, we set a time limit. We may have played for an hour. And the game ended up the same way it always does. I came in last because I spent all my money on property. And they were the good properties too. I had all these properties lined up but my oldest son had twice as much net worth in the end because he never spent his money. We talked about the outcome of the game and how my strategy would probably pay off if we played a longer game and I had the chance to enjoy the fruits of my purchases - collecting rent. But my son won because we played the short and sweet version. The strategy needed to be make as much money as you can in as short a time possible.

In my relatively short life, I have noticed that if I just sit back and let things play out, they usually turn out better in the end. Sometimes I am too quick to intervene with plan B. Things in the business world are the same. Think about the fast food resturants out there. Which ones are doing the best? Are they the ones that have stuck to one or two things or the ones who are constantly changing? A few of these resturants change their marketing campaigns every 3-6 months. And when I drive by their establishments, the parking lots are fairly empty. Their competitors right next door who stick with something have a full lot. Hmmm . . .

And yes, you guessed it. Our faith journeys fall into this same trap. We love our journeys in the beginning when it is exciting and new. But then things settle down and it's just enjoy the ride for a while. We wonder if God really is out there somewhere. When no new gadgets or upgrades come along, we begin searching for another way or checking out plan B. We need to look at our faith journeys as investments that need the long haul to mature. There will be short quick turnarounds, but by and large, the long haul is where the money is. And staying on your faith journey will bring the biggest payoff possible. Just a Thought.

Changing my reality?

Well, I've been very disappointed with my reality lately. At least my reality tv. First, Chris Daughtry got voted off American Idol and Taylor Hicks won. Then, Terry Dietz did not win Survivor. IMHO, these guys were the best and should have won.

My "real" reality hasn't been all that great lately either. I was struck by an extended period of introspection while watching the Survivor finale a few weeks back. Everybody who has ever been on that show talks about how they have been changed forever. They will never take things for granted again. They will really appreciate life.

I listened to all these comments and wondered if I would say the same things and if I would really stick to it. I thought about it in the context of my family. I would LOVE to give Survivor a try, but honestly, 40 days away from my family is not appealing to me, especially since there are at least 15 other people who could win the $1 million. If I came home empty-handed in that way, I would be extremely disappointed.

So as I listened, I thought to myself, why do I have to wait until I've been stranded away from civilization for over a month to change my life? Why don't I enjoy life more now? Why don't I focus all the energy on my family like I would like now? Why isn't permanent change possible (if it's possible) without going thru such a crisis?

My life is definitely too busy. I've not posted in almost a month because of it. Four years ago I was crippled emotionally because of job-related stress and burnout. It took several months to recover. I never want to go back there again. About three weeks ago, I recognized the signs of the same thing coming around the corner pretty soon unless I did something about it right then. I took a day off for the first time in months. I knew I needed to change my sleeping, eating, and exercise habits. They haven't. Life just got busier. So whatdya do?

Yes, I typically make spiritual applications to our faith journeys in all my posts. And there certainly are plenty to make with this one. But I'll leave that up to you. Right now I'm going to try to survive my reality so I can hopefully change some of it after the storm has passed.