Speak softly and carry no stick

I've relearned an important lesson this week. It's amazing how powerful a soft response (or even no response) to a bitter, angry, outburst can be. This is true whether it be your child, parent, spouse, co-worker, employer, ________ , you fill in the blank. As I was dealing with one such situation this week, I was talking to myself the entire time to not lash back at the other person. During this me, myself, and I conversation, another voice entered in and posed the following question, "What secret hurt do you think is causing the other person's pain?"

WOW! I thought. How easy it is to forget little simple things like that. When I began to try to get inside the other person's head and hear his or her self-talk, it really made a difference in how I viewed the situation. I no longer felt like the target. I realized I was just collateral damage. I no longer felt like a failure in my inability to manage the situation. I began to think of empathetic solutions that would not only promote healing in the other person, but also move us beyond the impasse.

When it was all over, I remembered all the other times this has proven helpful. In fact, someone who witnessed one of this events was impressed and commented on my "excellent leadership." I don't think I would take that assessment too far. I just practiced something real simple and in the end, something real loving.

This isn't a new leadership lesson from the Harvard School of Business gurus. The Book of Proverbs in the Bible, chapter 15 and verse 1, written between 2500 and 3000 years ago, says that a gentle answer turns away wrath. So besides just the interpersonal communication advice, there's another important lesson here. There are actually some important AND relevant things in the Bible. It's not just a book filled with fantastic stories. Of course, I personally believe all those stories are true and that even the most fantastic have relevance to my life. My faith journey is made possible in large part because of it.

So, while I continue to use my Bible to inform all things in my life, I will also try to speak a little softer. Just a Thought.

"Receiving" the Power of Forgiveness

I've written about forgiveness twice here already. Once about giving it and another about whether it's real. However, something hit me like a ton of bricks today. What about the power of RECEIVING forgiveness? On a real superficial level, a lot of us have experienced the relief of receiving only a warning ticket instead of a sure-fire insurance rate raising speeding ticket. Many of us have been caught in one or more lies and eventually forgiven.

I have offended friends, coworkers, family, . . . . . , in one form or another and caused sometimes very deep hurts. In those times where the offended party extended undeserved forgiveness, I remember the emotional release it created in me. I remember the freedom I felt to resume normal relations with that person. And I remember the awareness of grace that had been extended to me.

Today was one of those days for me. I was very graciously forgiven. I knew I would be eventually offered such, but not this soon. I gained a deeper appreciation of just how much that person cared about me. I witnessed and experienced firsthand the sacrifice of one's own feelings for the importance of relationship and the greater power of love. It was a divine thing.

Today's experience reawakened my appreciation for what has been done for me so I could be on a faith journey. My journey, like the journey of many people, is filled with events that moved me gradually in a specific direction. But it has a definite point in time when I said this is the journey I want to be on and I knew I couldn't start until I received forgiveness. I remember the rush of joy, sorrow, relief, and so many other emotions when I realized that I had been loved enough to be forgiven even though I did not deserve it. It was the moving of divine grace on my life.

As I bask in the warmth of this grace-filled day, I am filled with many thoughts. I'm thinking a lot about grace. I'm thinking about how I have received it. I'm thinking about the power it has given me. And I'm realizing how much power I hold in my hands to give to someone else the next time they need some.

Who you are when you don't think anyone's watching

Last week we took our annual summer vacation. We spent a week with Mickey Mouse. We had a blast. It was nice to forget about the real world and chase a few june bugs.

Something very cool happened on Wednesday. I woke up thinking, "Wouldn't it be cool to see someone we know?" I don't know the exact numbers but Disney World gets like a billion visitors a day, literally from all over the world. So the chances were pretty slim. But not slim enough apparently.

I was browsing some overpriced merchandise, trying to help my youngest child spend the money that was burning a hole in his pocket. A young boy, about ten years old came up to me and said, "Aren't you Pastor Matt from the Children's Camp?" I confirmed his suspicion and asked his name. I don't know all the faces but I know almost all the names. As soon as he told me his name, I quickly identified his church and told him to say hi to some adults he would know for me.

As soon as he left, I was reminded of another event from the previous day. While walking to some attraction in the park, someone inserted herself and her daughter into the middle of our group. My youngest was with me, so our pace was naturally slower. I yelled ahead to my wife to say don't let too many people get between us. The woman huffed, made some rude comment about being too slow, and rushed past my wife. I remember thinking, "What a great example!" as I also noticed the shirts representing what I presume to be her church that her entire family was wearing.

It's been said that who we are when no one's watching should be the same when everyone's watching. What about when you don't think anyone's watching? I'm pretty sure more people are watching than we realize at all times. Unless you live alone, someone is always watching. I'm glad that right before that kid came up to me that I was not engaging in some less than honorable behavior.

Two thoughts. We must be mindful how our actions affect the faith journeys of those around us. We've all heard the hypocrite stories. Second, if you are one those watchers who is contemplating a faith journey, don't let the missteps of others discourage you. Keep on the journey that you're being called to. Move on around them if they are going to slow or are temporarily blocking your way, but do so with grace.

Just a thought.

Forgiveness & Hollywood revisited

I'm glad I'm not Mel Gibson. If you were to write his bio right now, you might call it The Crucifixion. You could sell it as a special boxed set with his movie The Passion of the Christ. In fact, a friend of mine even said that Mel is getting raked over the coals because he made that movie.

I just find it interesting how fickle our society is. Two years ago, Barbara Walters couldn't say enough good things about Mel. Now that Mel made some inappropriate comments due to the high levels of alcohol in his system, she wants nothing to do with him. The rest of Hollywood has followed suit. The average guy and gal on the street stands up and cheers, saying, "Down with Mel."

I'm not trying to justify what Mel said or did. Nor is he a close personal friend of mine whom I'm sticking up for. But come on people! How many of us have not said something totally stupid that we knew after the fact was going to cause a lot of ripples? Some have argued that a person in his position and influence should be more careful. True. But Mel Gibson is an actor, not a world leader. Incidentally, where were all these people when Jesse Ventura made his bone-headed statement about people of faith being stupid? He was a governor at the time and he was sober.

I'm starting to rant now, so let me reel myself in and get to the point. At some point, after many stated apologies by both Mel and his spokespeople, the world will forgive him. They'll forget it ever happened until the next time he even thinks about saying something derogatory about anything. Will this be real forgiveness? Or will it be some cheap version that only ensures the cash flow of those involved? Do we even know what real forgiveness is? Just a thought.

settling in - part 2

I began week 5 in my new office yesterday. It looks the same as it did last week. I don't know when I'll get around to unpacking it. Last week I said it was getting to me, hindering my productivity. Now it's just annoying. My fear is that soon I will become immune to its presence and not do anything about it, except maybe in 12 months.

That's the dangerous part about settling in. Sometimes settling in means settling for something less than you desire. That perspective will many times cause you to move backwards away from any of your goals. I can think of times in my faith journey when there was something I needed to correct. I knew it was unhealthy, counter productive, even counter active to anything good about my life. If I put it off long enough, I got so accustomed to it being there that I no longer noticed it. Twelve months would go by and my faith journey would be seriously suffering. If I traced my path backwards, I could pinpoint that unaddressed issue as a marker in time that caused my journey to deviate from the desired and preferred path.

Whatdya do in a case like that? The best thing is to fix it right then. I blew up my car by not addressing the issue right then. $2500 later I'm wishing I had acted a little more quickly. We have to not be embarrassed to let others help us if necessary. I need to get settled in the right way instead of settling for less. My office needs to be unpacked too. Just a Thought.+

Settling in - Part 1

We've been in our new house for three weeks now. It's mostly unpacked. We are at the dreaded 90% point where the house is set up and very livable. There are even a few pics on the wall. But, here and there, in the corner or behind the couch, lie the ever present yet to be unpacked box, waiting for us to decide if the stuff in it is a keeper, and then whether we will actually use it or just store it for another millenium. My office is even worse. After three weeks, I am 30% set up at best. I'm embarrassed for people to come in. I usually meet them at the door and say, "Let's meet in the conference room. I'm not quite unpacked yet."

I have intentionally neglected the office because there are some other matters that I feel need the bulk of my energy and focus right now. Putting books on a shelf and organizing a desk aren't necessarily mission critical activities. But the clutter is getting to me. It's like the steady beat of the Tell Tale Heart, reminding me of my sinful act of neglect. I find it hard to focus appropriately on those activities which ARE mission critical.

Our faith journeys are filled with times of moving. Sometimes they actually involve a physical move, but it is usually a time of change, marked by important decisions. Depending upon the uncertainty of the future or amount of personal change involved, these decisions can often necessitate a lot of follow up decisions or actions to take.

I can think of many times where moves such as this came in my faith journey and I very quickly got to the 90% mark. The last 10% was not as fun and took longer to accomplish, but I did it. I can also testify to times where 30% would be guessing high. And unfortunately, I never got beyond that point. You might even characterize some of those times as moments where I began "repacking" boxes and moving backwards.

In all parts of our life, we have to decide what is important. What are the mission critical elements that merit our time and energy? Our faith journeys are no different. The trick is deciding what those elements are. What things are going to get us closer to our goal, perhaps even further away from where we were? Once we do, we can get to 90% very quickly. Making moves are sometimes hard, but with effort we can get settled in pretty easily.

Incidentally, I tell everyone who asks about our move that this has been by far the easiest move we have ever made. And that includes at least two moves that were simply across town. You wanna know the secret behind why this one has been so easy? It's something you've read before on this blog. We didn't do it alone. We had so many supportive friends, new and old, who helped make it happen. Getting to 90% is a lot easier once you identify the crucial elements AND you get the help of people around you. Just a thought.

Chase the June Bugs

Last week we processed a batch of mixed emotions. My wife's grandfather passed away. He was a retired pastor and a wonderful man. We were obviously grieving at our loss, but we were peaceful at the same time. His suffering was over. And we know that he has reached the end of his faith journey. All the aunts and uncles were with him the moment he somehow found the energy to raise his arms above his head in an act of adoration, breathe three more breaths, and die. At that moment, when his body breathed its last breath, his soul left the fleshly body and arrived at the finish line that he had been racing toward most of his life. Honestly, despite the grief, it's hard not to celebrate at times, knowing the joy that GrandDad now experiences.

On Friday, as we stood in front of the church waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, I watched my youngest son play in the grass. He was chasing june bugs. He did not have a care in the world. He knew the situation and circumstances around him, but it did not stop him from enjoying life. I watched and grew envious of him. How come I seem to be unable to stop and chase june bugs?

I have a tag line that goes out on the bottom of most of my emails. I even had it engraved on my iPod. It says "Give Hope, Love Life, Praise God". I do really well at #1 and #3. My job makes that really easy. But the loving life, at least enjoying it, seems to be a constant struggle. Saturday, I beat myself up for not being able to do so more easily. Less than 24 hours after watching my son chase june bugs, I was ranting and raving, impatiently hurrying the boys to eat something so we could get out the door and not be even more late for an engagement. The whole time I'm doing so, I telling myself, "chase the june bugs". But I couldn't. At least I didn't.

Back in December when I came up with that tag line, I wanted something that communicated my perspective on life. Again, giving hope and praising God were easy. But I also needed to include a growing edge, a point of accountability, something others who know me well could look at and say, "Lighten up" when I need to. It's also a constant reminder to me that I need to work on it. In the middle of giving everyone else hope and enjoying the presence of God while on my faith journey, I need to enjoy life.

A faith journey isn't only about the end. The journey itself is supposed to be fun too. So before I join GrandDad and a lot of family and friends, I need to chase a lot more june bugs. Just a thought.

Unknown Connections

I don't if this is exactly true, but I heard someone say that you can in a crowd ANYWHERE and not be more than 10 people away from a connection to ANY person there. To further explain, I randomly pick a person from a crowd. We begin to talk and share about people we know or are related to. Soon we discover that we have mutual friends/relatives/acquaintances and if we trace the connections between the two of us, there won't be more than 10 people between us. It's an interesting theory to test out if you have the time and patience. I saw it demonstrated once at the conference where I heard it. If I remember correctly, there were 6 connections between the speaker and the randomly chosen contestant.

Last I went to our annual denominational conference for our district of churches. It's filled with the usual boring business and sometimes seemingly purposeless rants. But it can also be an enjoyable to time reconnect with old friends and colleagues you don't get to see on a regular basis. It was at this year's conference that I became acutely aware of the value unknown connections hold for our faith journeys.

Several years ago my family moved to the 'hood to begin an inner city ministry. During our five years there we spent a considerable amount of time networking in the city and throughout our district churches. The basic scenario for our district churches is that we would be invited to come to a church and share about the work we were doing. I never counted heads, but two years after leaving that place of ministry, I am confident there were several hundred people who were regularly praying for us.

There was particular church that I will always remember. It was a small rural church, more than 2 hours drive away. I was invited to come one Sunday night. During that time I shared about our desire to take as many of our neighborhood kids to camp that summer. Most of those kids would not have the basic toiletry items necessary to take for a week. Immediately, a group of women from this church rallied and put together kits for at least twenty kids. These included hand sewn carrying bags, as well as towels and washcloths. To top it off, one of them personally drove these to my home, two hours away.

This church did not stop with a one time material donation. They stayed connected. They sent encouraging emails. They always asked how the people in our neighborhood were doing. And they were crushed two years ago to hear we had a reached a decision to close down our organization.

Last week at our annual conference, I ran into a group of women from that church. I was amazed they were still so interested in that ministry. They really wanted a detailed explanation as to what happened. So, I sat down and shared all the details that went into that difficult decision - the struggles, the hardships, etc. As I shared, I saw my own pain echoed back on their faces.

When I stood to walk away at end of our conversation, I had an "a-ha" moment. A little voice spoke to me and said, "Can you imagine how hard it would have been if those women and many others like them had not been praying for you because I connected them to you?" I began to realize that all of us have people who are part of our faith journeys and we don't realize it. You never really journey alone.

As you reflect on your own journey, no matter where you are on that journey, remember you have unseen guides helping you along. Keep your eyes open because you just might see one.

Making a return on your investments

I just finished up two weeks of camp with first through sixth graders. During week 2, I had a thought about the whole process of camp and everything that happens there. For the four or five of you who read this blog regularly, you know my big issue of the moment is never take a faith journey alone. I usually talk about it from the perspective of what we receive from other people on our journeys. Over a bowl of ice cream with some teens serving as junior counselors, I began to look at the group journey a little differently.

Every year we have adult volunteers who use their vacation time to come and assist a group of children in their faith journeys. Each morning and each evening I get to hear stories of how they have helped a child or a group of children further their relationship with God. These adults are here because they want to invest in the spiritual lives of these children.

My wife and I have been fortunate here lately to hear how we have influenced people. We are preparing for a move to another church. Now that we are leaving, those whom we have influenced are kind enough to let us know how. Last week we had the privilege of expanding our influence. It was not in these exact words, but the basic message given to us by one individual was that we were the role models she hoped she and her future, yet still unknown, husband to be like one day. I cherish each moment like that. It's one of the reasons I exist. Because of my role as camp director, I was given even more opportunities to shape young leaders in training as I attempted to help them realize how God had created them and how they could in turn use their own influence in a postive way.

We all have a different sphere of influence. The people that my wife and I have influenced are different than the people another person might influence. I could never influence the people that the guy down the street can. And we each have a different way of positively impacting people. The important thing is that we wield that influence.

People with money say that in order to make money, you have to spend money. The same can be said for our faith journeys. In order to move along or grow, we must help others move along or grow. Journeying together means helping others, not just getting helped. Just a thought.

Calling Home

Last month I wrote about my father on Mother's Day. I promised to do the same on father's day and write about my mother. Well, I'm gonna keep my promise. The problem is my mother is still living. Well, her being alive is not a problem. That's actually very nice ;-) But I have to be careful what I say because she's still here to react to it ;-)

On this Father's Day, like the last four or five, I woke up at camp. The church camp where we take our kids every summer always begins on Father's Day it seems. While I was lying in the bed for those last few minutes before forcing myself to get up, I thought about all the kids who will be here this week. Some will get homesick. Many more Mom's will get "kid sick". They will worry about their child. They will call. They want their children to call. They want to come out and check on them. Dads don't do that. Only Moms.

I actually began to understand the phenomenon a little better when I thought about my relationship with my wife. There is a bond there that is not easiily broken because we have become one. We are part of each other's flesh. When a child comes into this world, it has to literally separate its flesh from the flesh of its mother. Yet despite being two totally autonomous beings, there is a bond there that is not easily broken.

I remember going on a trip to Washington DC with my class in middle school. Before getting on the bus, my dad told me to call home. I did not want to. I insisted I would be okay and would not need to call home. He looked at me very seriously and said, "Your mother needs you to." I've never forgotten that. Yet I don't much better at calling home enough. Sorry Mom.

So, what about our faith journeys? There is something inside of us that calls out to somebody. Something that leads us to begin or continue our journey. There is someething inside of us that yearns to call home to somebody. It's an urging that is not instinctual nor programmed. It's not a psychological need. It's a reality of having been connected to someone greater than ourselves and now wanting to reconnect.

On this Father's Day, think about the connection you have to your mother. Then give a thought to the connection to the Father on your faith journey. Give him a call. And Mom, I'll try to call this week.

Just a thought

The Long Haul

One of the four people who read my blog reminded me this weekend that I went almost a month without posting. In fact, he just quit checking and assumed I had stopped. I've done the same with a blog that I used to check regularly. I got tired of finding nothing new, so I stopped checking.

Life is like that. At least we live it like that. If something doesn't have some new upgrade or feature often enough, we abandon it. Our children are growing up believing that everything happens in 3-5 minute multimedia segments.

Last night my family played Monopoly. Because our boys are young, we set a time limit. We may have played for an hour. And the game ended up the same way it always does. I came in last because I spent all my money on property. And they were the good properties too. I had all these properties lined up but my oldest son had twice as much net worth in the end because he never spent his money. We talked about the outcome of the game and how my strategy would probably pay off if we played a longer game and I had the chance to enjoy the fruits of my purchases - collecting rent. But my son won because we played the short and sweet version. The strategy needed to be make as much money as you can in as short a time possible.

In my relatively short life, I have noticed that if I just sit back and let things play out, they usually turn out better in the end. Sometimes I am too quick to intervene with plan B. Things in the business world are the same. Think about the fast food resturants out there. Which ones are doing the best? Are they the ones that have stuck to one or two things or the ones who are constantly changing? A few of these resturants change their marketing campaigns every 3-6 months. And when I drive by their establishments, the parking lots are fairly empty. Their competitors right next door who stick with something have a full lot. Hmmm . . .

And yes, you guessed it. Our faith journeys fall into this same trap. We love our journeys in the beginning when it is exciting and new. But then things settle down and it's just enjoy the ride for a while. We wonder if God really is out there somewhere. When no new gadgets or upgrades come along, we begin searching for another way or checking out plan B. We need to look at our faith journeys as investments that need the long haul to mature. There will be short quick turnarounds, but by and large, the long haul is where the money is. And staying on your faith journey will bring the biggest payoff possible. Just a Thought.

Changing my reality?

Well, I've been very disappointed with my reality lately. At least my reality tv. First, Chris Daughtry got voted off American Idol and Taylor Hicks won. Then, Terry Dietz did not win Survivor. IMHO, these guys were the best and should have won.

My "real" reality hasn't been all that great lately either. I was struck by an extended period of introspection while watching the Survivor finale a few weeks back. Everybody who has ever been on that show talks about how they have been changed forever. They will never take things for granted again. They will really appreciate life.

I listened to all these comments and wondered if I would say the same things and if I would really stick to it. I thought about it in the context of my family. I would LOVE to give Survivor a try, but honestly, 40 days away from my family is not appealing to me, especially since there are at least 15 other people who could win the $1 million. If I came home empty-handed in that way, I would be extremely disappointed.

So as I listened, I thought to myself, why do I have to wait until I've been stranded away from civilization for over a month to change my life? Why don't I enjoy life more now? Why don't I focus all the energy on my family like I would like now? Why isn't permanent change possible (if it's possible) without going thru such a crisis?

My life is definitely too busy. I've not posted in almost a month because of it. Four years ago I was crippled emotionally because of job-related stress and burnout. It took several months to recover. I never want to go back there again. About three weeks ago, I recognized the signs of the same thing coming around the corner pretty soon unless I did something about it right then. I took a day off for the first time in months. I knew I needed to change my sleeping, eating, and exercise habits. They haven't. Life just got busier. So whatdya do?

Yes, I typically make spiritual applications to our faith journeys in all my posts. And there certainly are plenty to make with this one. But I'll leave that up to you. Right now I'm going to try to survive my reality so I can hopefully change some of it after the storm has passed.

Just like my Father

Yes, I know, tomorrow is Mother's Day. So why am I writing about my father? Because I like to be non-conformist sometimes. I'm a closet revolutionary. I don't like doing stuff just becuase everyone else does. But that's not why I'm posting.

I'm sitting here in my office burning CD's I promised some kids. As I was writing the title on each one with a Sharpie from my hidden stash, I stopped and thought to myself, "I recognize that handwriting." Before you begin wondering about my mental soundness let me get to the point. It's my dad's handwriting. Frequently when I jot something down, I realize that our handwriting samples would almost be indistinguishable. Especially when I sign my name. What I find so hilarious is that growing up he used to give me so much grief about the neatness (or lack thereof) of my penmanship. Then one day I made him compare the two. He stopped.

How did this happen? To my recollection, there was never a time in my life when my father sat down with me and said, "Here's how you should write . . ." Yet our handwriting is almost the same. It must be some weird genetic thing. I wonder if some biotech company out there could isolate which gene caused this.

There's a bunch of other things in me that I hope are like my father. And I hope I pass them to my boys. I hope that one day there are sitting somewhere and say, "OMIGOSH! I'm just like Dad" and without them realizing they are really like their Poppy. One of them already is in some ways. I'm hoping to break him of that ;-)

In my faith journey, there are people who have influenced me and I hope some of their traits show up in my life. I pray that I can in turn pass those along to others as well. That's why it is so important to never journey alone.

Sorry Mom, but these are my thoughts for tonight. I promise to give you top billing on Father's Day. Just a thought.

The Good Ol' Days

Things have been so hectic lately. I'm at one of those points again where I think the Unabomber might have been right. Forget technology. Forget the fast paced life. Remove yourself from society and live in the woods all alone. Live off the land as best you can and trade with other people only as needed. I'll even give up my iPod.

Of course that's a little extreme. But we have all had days where we wish the phone had never been invented. Nine months ago we decided to turn off our mobile phone. We really didn't need it. We've saved money each month and with the exception of those times when one of us is Wal-Mart and we can't find an item on our list or someone at home wants to add one more thing to the list, we have survived quite well without it.

If you talk to the "old timers", many of them will quickly tell you that the good ol' days weren't always so good. They like having a wash machine instead of a washboard and tub. They like indoor plumbing and electrical lighting. Almost any non-white older person will quickly tell you the good ol' days definitely were not good.

Sometimes I miss the good ol' days when my faith journey was just beginning. I remember the excitement of my new relationship with God. I remember the unexplainable hunger I suddenly developed to read the Bible. I remember the strong "feelings" orientation of my journey in its early days.

Some days I just miss being simple and green in my faith and my responsibility and accountability were relatively low. There are times when I don't want to live up to the expectations of a person in my position and at this point in the journey. Since I'm a guy, I'll use a sports analogy. Did you ever wonder if Michael Jordan ever came home wishing he could go 1 for 26 from the field without it making the headlines the next morning? Not that I consider myself the Michael Jordan of spiritual matters, but I think you get my point.

Despite wanting to go 0 for 12 from the line and not catch any flack, I don't really have a desire to go back to the good ol' days of my faith journey, just like I don't want to go back the first year of my marriage. I am very comfortable in my relationship with my wife. There is an understanding, trust level, and intimacy that only exists because we have been married twelve years. There are many experiences that I would miss on my spiritual journey if not for the intimacy, knowledge, and yes, even responsibility that I have developed over the last twenty years. I think the old timers are right. Just a thought.

Rainy days & Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, etc. get me down

What a dreary day outside. It has been raining since some time last night. It was much needed as our year-to-date totals are way behind and we have been in an official drought since last summer. But isn't there some other way to relieve the drought without the gloomy sky and having to be shut in with 120+ screaming kids?

A woman was in my office today who just recently and unexpectedly lost her mother. The last couple of days have been hard for her. She had been doing fine until she turned the corner at the grocery store and came across a display for Mother's Day cards. I sat and listened so she could process. Just talking helped her bring about her own "relief".

As I drove through the rain a little while ago, my mind ran through its own set of overwhelming thoughts. I too have many things, TOO many things, happening in my life. The very thoughts I wanted to share with the woman above kept coming back to me. If I was not able to handle this time, I would not be going through it. I firmly believe that. I do not think that our circumstances are random nor beyond the governance of any outside force.

I know that three months from now when 95% of the issues and deadlines I know face have passed that I will be stronger and wiser. I know that during this "storm" of activity I will be okay and will get through it. However, just because I know the boat will get to the shore safely does not mean I have to necessarily enjoy the ride. Riding across stormy seas in a little boat is not fun. I've done it enough - both literally and figuratively. Do the journeys that always teach us the most always have to be so trying?

Amazingly, I don't mind. If I could choose, I would turn the wave generator off in this great big pool. But because I know a shore awaits and that I will somehow be better, I'm okay with it. Perhaps it is in the listening to the Navigator that makes the journey bearable and enjoyable. Rainy days and Thursdays don't have to get me down.

Going home

Saturday was a weird day for me. That feeling that hits me every time I go home struck again. We took a few vacation days to spend at my mom's down on the coast. She sold the ol' homestead where we grew up last fall, so things are a lot different now when we visit. At least they were until Saturday.

We drove over to the beach. We didn't do the sand, sun, and surf thing like we usually do. We did the tourist thing and checked out a local historical site, Ft. Macon. The fort is located on the end of the beach and you can see, hear, and smell the surf as it breaks. To get there, I had to drive past all the familiar surf breaks. As we left the fort and drove over the bridge back to the mainland, I looked at my wife and said, "Coming home is always hard. I wish we could live here."

It's odd how that works. There is nothing particularly attractive about the area that draws my soul here. Except for family or access to the ocean and a slower pace of life for people looking to retire or vacation, the usual relocation factors just don't exist here. I was fine until I got a good whiff of that salt air and heard the surf crashing. Like my profile says, my soul yearns for the salt water. I was born and raised in it. It's a huge part of who I am.

My wife knows how big a deal this is for me. We're getting ready to move to a new town and a new church. She saw the struggle on my face as we left the beach Saturday and asked in a very serious tone, "Do you think you've settled for something less?" referring to the move. My reply was no. I know we are heading exactly where we are supposed to be. The physical aspects of my faith journey are leading me to this new town and there are no doubts about it. But I do wonder why my heart aches as it does. It's interesting how the soil (or surf) your roots were originally anchored in still affects you, even if you have planted them elsewhere.

I think our faith journeys operate that way. I am convinced that we embark on faith journeys because there is some sort of homesickness that draws us to our roots. Our faith journeys are really journeys back to our spiritual roots. Like the salmon who instinctively swims back upstream to spawn, we go looking for our spiritual origins. And that leads us to our Creator. I have said it here before and will continue to say that there is something in us that draws us to God.

Not everyone will agree with me. Some would say it is a search for meaning. An atheist would certainly describe his life that way since faith is not a concern for him. While visiting the fort on Saturday, I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said, "May the god of your choosing bless you". That's how some people look at it. Others will say that there is only one god and that any religion you choose will eventually lead you to him. I think we are all on a faith journey, even those who deny the existence of anything beyond this life. I think the search for meaning or even the emptiness that makes you search for something to fill it with is homesickness. It is a beacon calling you home.

Sometimes I dread going home because I know I will want to stay. I like my faith journey most of the time, but I'm looking forward to my end desitination. Just a thought.

Starting Points - The End?

The DaVinci Code (again), the Gospel of Judas, and a bunch of other things have been hitting the headlines lately. For many people, especially those who have grown up in the church, these things have made them a little uneasy. Others who are searching for everything they can learn about matters of faith are fascinated by them. Some of these same folks are resentful that the church has "tried to hide them" from the rest of world because they might cast doubt on the established system of beliefs. One of the blogs I regularly read addresses these issues far more eloquently and completely than I. You can find a link to that post at the end of this one.

I'm not going to try and regurgitate anything in the post mentioned above. I'd like to address what the whole issue has to do with starting points and reaching an end. For Christians, the Bible is supposed to be the starting point of all things faith related. At some point, interpretation is necessary. There are some issues that the Bible does not explicitly address. In order to reach an end, you have to bring in other resources to reach your decision. And voila, you naturally end up with 3,453,618,912 different interpretations, opinions, churches, and denominations.

As people begin to sort out their faith journeys and come across the noncanonical gospels (the ones not included in the Bible), how you interpret those other sources depends upon your starting point. If you are naturally skeptical, you may come to the conclusion that it is a conspiracy to protect a system of power already in place. Or you may see it as another point in the "this is all make-believe" column. Some react to this additional information in another way. They start out with confidence in the system. They believe that these books were excluded for a good reason. These folks may even read the writings themselves. They consult scholars and historians. In the end, they do not change their faith position.

There are a few important streams that should always feed into our faith journeys. You can call them all starting points if you like. Starting out in multiple places at once fits nicely into the way we view the world nowadays anyway. In matters of faith, I think you have to start with the Bible. Along the journey, tradition needs to have some influence. What has been the historical perspective? Not just anecdotal events or blips on the radar, but the general accepted perspective over the course of time. Your personal experience will certainly shape the course of your journey. Along the way, it's not a bad idea to get some help from others. Getting perspectives from the experiences of other people is a good thing. It's always good to walk with others. Tradition, personal experience, and community are the streams that I use to help my journey with the Bible being my starting point.

Regardless of how long you have been journeying, don't get sidetracked by the circus that often surrounds new or different info. Take a good thoughtful look at it. Honestly, the starting point is not as important as the ending point. That's where the prize is. Just a thought.

Here's that link I told you about. It also has a multitude of links that will give you the texts of many of the noncanonical gospels. There's a bunch of other stuff for people who have either already made their mind up or are on the pastoral end of things.

Starting Points - part 3 Miracles

Are miracles for real? It all depends on your starting point. Last week a study by a University of Florida professor states that Jesus walked on ice, not water. His research has not been favorably received by all. I read somewhere that he receives hate email on average every three minutes. Some people of faith applaud studies like this because they say it shows the realistic possibilities of the miracles in the Bible. Others say that such work takes faith out of the equation; you just need to believe. If you could prove it scientifically then it has no faith value.

A former professor of mine explained miracles in this manner one morning. He was referring to the Ten Plagues the Egyptians suffered when Pharaoh refused to let the Israelites go. There have been numerous natural explanations of how that whole sequence of events could have, and probably did, happen. He said there is a difference between a natural event and a miracle. If suddenly, the ground split open and lava and ashes spewed out, covering a set of administrative buildings for some organization, it would be called a natural disaster. However, if the week before, someone publicly stated that these buildings would be destroyed the following week if the administration of that organization did not change some aspect of their behavior, it would be a miracle. That may not be helpful in looking at events from 4000 years ago because we cannot say positively the order of those events. Which came first, the natural disaster or the public condemnation?

Advances in medical science make it hard to believe in miracles. I know of several incidents from Peru that I would constitute as miracles. These involve people with whom I have close personal connections. Some could argue misdiagnosis or equipment failure. The medical personnel involved argue otherwise. What about calling down judgement on some organization? With today's technology, we can come close to predicting such volcanic events like the one above. Remember the Mount St. Helens Watch last year?

I was asked one time to prove to someone that God existed. She said she really wanted to believe in God, but just couldn't. She was brought up in a home where God was vehemently denied. Her starting point of assumptions just would not let her believe, no matter how hard she said she wanted to. We could never get past the starting point. If you want proof of a supernatural being who can do unexplainable things (which she did), at some point you have to accept the inability to explain some of those things. Otherwise you set up a self-contradicting proposition that is impossible to resolve.

So, back to miracles. Are they real or aren't they? What are the starting points that allow us to believe they are? Are they miracles only if we believe them to be or does our belief even matter?

Starting Points - part 2 Matters of Faith

Where you end up many times depends on where you start. You can change directions, turn around, start over, etc., along the way, but that starting point always has an impact. Last week we looked at hot topics of debate and "proofs" that all depended on starting points. At some point in any debate, we are almost always forced to choose between what may be two diametrically opposed outcomes. Of course, whether the two options are really so opposite is another matter of debate for some.

For example, a two of the hot button issues in the world of faith are creationism vs. evolution and anti-abortion vs. pro abortion. I have close friends, distant acquaintances, and just people I know who fall on both sides of each debate. I'm not talking about people that are considered to be from very different theological camps either. I'm talking about people who are very much alike theologically. My wife and I sometimes end up on opposite sides of the table. Even though their theological perspectives may be the same, some folks are anti-abortion and some are pro-abortion. Some believe in a literal six days of creation and others in a billions of years scientific explanation.

How can this be? If all these people start out at the same place, at least theologically, how do they end up at different endpoionts? At some point along the debate, they had to make a decision. To which particular subset of beliefs that was pertinent to the debate would they give more weight? Even though all people involved may believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, when faced with conflicting arguments they had to choose which way to go. Is it or isn't it literal? Are the scientists mistaken or wrong? The Bible does not explicitly say, "Thou shall not perform abortions," so how do we decide and interpret what it does say that can be applied to this debate?

These are just two of many divisive issues. I'm not trying to argue one over the other. Something that might be worthy of thought is which ones of these are crucial to our faith journeys and which ones are fringe issues.

I'm just trying to state the process by which both sides come to their conclusions. Sometimes the stated starting point doesn't matter. It's the unstated starting point that does. We all have a set of subconscious assumptions about how the world works that gives meaning to how we interpret the events in our lives. Next week I'll introduce miracles into the melee. For now, what are your thoughts? What subconscious assumptions are you aware of? Have any of these ever changed? How important is it to know what they are?

Starting Points - part 1

There are a lot of interesting debates out there. The most interesting and volatile are the ones which involve politics and/or religion. You know the old saying - don't talk about either if you want to avoid an argument. My dear old dad, God rest his soul, had some very strong opinions and avoided debate about them. Equally explosive are the ones which involve religion and science. Hmmm . . . Maybe religion is the actual powder keg in this whole mess. Pick an issue and find a way to incorporate religion into it and one of two things will happen. It will either explode or the other person will totally dismiss you. Sometimes both things happen.

For a person on a faith journey, this sometimes explosive nature of religion causes a problem. You don't know how to handle it. You don't even know if you SHOULD handle. Depending on where you are in your journey, you might find yourself debating abandoning the journey instead of the issue itself. All because you find yourself trying to reconcile two or more different starting points. Sometimes you have to choose one and accept the end result.

I'll never forget being in a college math class and the professor "proved" some things that were totally contrary to all my assumptions about how the world worked geometrically. But the proofs were completely valid. Despite their apparent illogical nature, their validity was an outcome of their starting points. In our "normal" flat world, we accept without question that you can draw one and only one straight line through any two points. However, pull a globe out and take a look at what our world really looks like. If you put one finger on the North Pole and one finger on the South Pole (two points), you can trace an infinite number of straight lines of longitude that connect these two. Suddenly, everything has changed!

So, back to the real purpose of this blog. Everybody's faith journey has a starting point. In fact it has multiple types of starting points. It has a starting point in time. You might not be able to identify that point, but at some point in your life, you began a conscious journey to explore matters of faith. Your journey has a philosophical starting point. That's the fun one because it can change. As you journey, you find yourself changing routes because your current road leads you to a dead end. Or you take a fork in the road somewhere that connects you to a set of ideas that are totally brand new and you realize that they are part of some other system and you are not even sure how you got there. You might even find yourself in one of those hot topic debates with seemingly irreconcilable positions and you have to choose a starting point so you can decide on one or the other positions.

There's a lot more to be said about starting points that I'll say later. I'd love to hear about the starting points of others - whether they be starting points in time or ideas. What are the starting points of your faith journey?