Feeling the Heat

This week promises to be a scorcher. Temps are forecasted to break 100 in my neck of the woods. All last week they hovered around the triple digit mark. We've been carefully planning our daily activities to avoid the heat of the day whenever possible. Overall the summer hasn't been that bad. I've seen a lot worse. The humidity rose substantially a few weeks ago, but again, this has been a pretty cool summer, no pun intended.

All this heat reminded me of a saying I heard a while back. "It's hot, but Hell's hotter. Don't go there." It was said in jest and yet it was also obvious to anyone listening that the person saying this was giving a half-hearted suggestion to whomever might be listening that eternal damnation in the lake of fire was something to be avoided. I believe this person spoke with all sincerity in his concern for someone's soul. Many of us have been exposed to the sincere efforts of someone (whether a "professionsal" evangelist or just a friend) to scare us into Heaven.

I believe in a literal Hell that fits all the descriptions you would expect a preacher to believe in. However, I'm not sure how effective or even appropriate such an approach is to helping someone see the need to be on a faith journey. There is a time and place where the reality of Hell needs to be discussed. I just don't believe it's at the beginning of the journey.

Lots of people interpret such tactics as intimidation. I've heard countless stories from people very dear to me who feel bitter resentment at such an approach being used on them. They sincerely believed all that was being said to them but something in the approach and forcefulness of the speaker left a bitter taste in their mouths that caused them to turn back later. Some people have galvanized their resistance to Christianity because of it.

Some of the people reading this aren't going to like it. I'm going to be accused of watering down the Gospel. My faith is going to be questioned. That's ok. If you visit here frequently and read the comments of others, you'll know I get hit from both sides of the fence. So for those of you who disagree, be kind and comment appropriately. For all of you, I'd like to hear about your experiences with someone trying to tell you about the need for a faith journey. Was it positive or negative and why? If you said "Yes", why? If you said "No", why? I'll be here looking for a cool spot while I wait.

Relationships anyone?

No, this is not an indication that I am now running an online dating service. But it will give you an idea of where this post is heading. It all started last Wednesday night (cue strumming harps and wavy pictures as we enter memory mode) . . .

The family and I went to see the Durham Bulls play Wednesday night. They're the triple-A affiliate of the major league baseball Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Minor league ball games are always great places to take the family because they really cater to families, providing lots of wholesome, family friendly entertainment. The level of play, at least in Durham, is usually pretty good and the park is just the right size so that there are no bad seats in the place. unless you're in the outfield. I don't care how small the park, if you're in the outfield, it's never a good seat. But I digress.

As the game was beginning, five women and a toddler came and sat two rows ahead of us. My wife and I waited a few minutes, looking for the men to show up. This was afterall a sporting event. Not that women can't enjoy sports, but usually when given a night out, women don't choose the ball park. No men ever showed up. It became clear it was just these ladies, enjoying a night out, even if they had one kid in tow.

At the end of the second inning, another peculiar thing happened. All five got up together and left. Lest you think I'm being chauvinistic or at least stereotypical in my judgments, my wife was the first to say, "I guess they've had enough." I joked and said maybe they had to go to the bathroom. I guess the same rule applies to the concession stand because within minutes, they returned, each with food and drink.

During the slow parts of the game, I watched the women interact. They appeared to be enjoying the game but they appeared to be enjoying one another's company more. Throughout the game, they would switch seats with one another in order to be able to converse with a different person. Guys don't do that. We stay where we are and just shout over the five people between us when we want to speak to the guy on the end. That works for us, so it's ok. Don't judge us ;-)

It's widely talked about that women are better at relationships than men. I'm not ready to agree 100% with the notion that men stink at relationships. We just do it differently. What these women did illustrate and remind me of though was the importance of healthy relationships, however you maintain them. (Healthy is the key word there) When you are on a faith journey it is important to maintain healthy relationships with other people also on a faith journey. That does not mean to restrict those relationship building times to church, Bible study, or some other "spiritual" thing. Going to a ball game, fishing, playing ball, seeing a movie, scrapbooking, sharing a meal. . . anything that gets you doing life together is important and will have immeasurable benefits.

So, anyone up for some relationships?

This stuff is harder than it looks

Last week I was lucky enough to take a few days vacation at the beach with the family. I was also unlucky enough to have leave in the middle due to a conference I had to attend while they stayed for the whole week. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. As a whole, though, the week was pretty restful and I certainly needed that.

On Tuesday the boys and I decided to try our hand at fishing off the pier. They seemed excited about it and it would give me a chance to hone my Marlboro Man skills. We rented a couple of rods, bought some bait, and headed to end of the pier with dreams of bringing home supper that night. My youngest son aspired to catching a killer whale. After about fifteen minutes of sitting there waiting for a bite, the boys started to get bored. I tried to explain that sometimes the biggest part of fishing is waiting. Within twenty minutues, one of them was ready to call it quits. And he did. After forty-five minutes, the other one threw in the towel. They went back to the camper with their mom and I stayed for another hour or so with two rods all to myself.

I came home empty handed. As I looked around me, nobody else was catching any fish either. Well, almost nobody. Two guys behind me kept catching fish. They did not always catch a keeper - one time it was a sting ray. Another time it was a toad fish. Another time it was a ribbon fish (this was kept for bait). But at least they were catching something. I looked at their rods. I looked at their tackle. I looked at the water they were casting into. For the most part, they were not doing anything any different than the other fifty or so people on the pier, yet they were the only ones reeling in fish.

Now, I have to ask the obvious question - Why? Is it because they were indeed smoking Marlboro's? Other people were smoking - maybe they had the wrong brand. That's probably not it. Was there something subtle they knew that the rest of us did not? My brother-in-law works for Hendrick Motorsports. He gave me a tour of the engine department. He explained that cameras are forbidden there because a trained mechanic could look at a casual photo and examine it to discover some trade secrets. All I saw was a bunch of metal being bored, ground, and molded into engine parts. Maybe all this is harder than it looks.

Here comes the real question that I know you are just waiting for. What if our faith journeys are the same? Is a faith journey harder than it looks? Yes and No. When we begin a faith journey, God helps us all along the way to stay on that journey and live for him. At the same time, it's not as simple as baiting a hook and throwing it overboard. There are skills and techniques that we must learn and develop along the way. Things like prayer and Bible reading are the most basic and probably most important. Sometimes they are really easy. Sometimes we have to work at it.

Now I pose a question for you. What part of your faith journey has been harder than it looked? Think about it. For now, I'm going to go see if I can improve my luck with some worms. I hope changing bait will work because I don't want to take up smoking. Just a thought.

Why am I awake?

It's 1:00 am and I'm not asleep. WHY?! I was really tired when I went to bed over 2 hours ago. I even fell asleep pretty quickly. My wife came to bed about an hour later and I woke up enough to roll over. And lie there awake. And roll back over and lie there awake. And then roll back over and lie there awake.

After 20 minutes of this, I decided to get up, check my email and check on some items I have up for sale on ebay (some vintage gen 1 Transformers that have been in storage for 20 years). Lest you think I am violating the principles of last week's post, let me explain. I got up because I know how this works. Unless I am completely exhausted, twenty to forty minutes of sleep will make my body feel likes its completely rested and ready to go. Such is the case tonight. As I type this, my mind is tired, my eyes are itchy & burning, and I hope to sleep soon if the rest of my body will cooperate.

Somewhere in this is a spiritual lesson. Like a lot of things, we want the quickest, shortest, easiest route. Those aren't always the best. I may be able to go on spurts of 30 minute naps, but eventually I will pay the price. OR the lesson may be that I am too impatient and needed to give it more than twenty minutes before giving up. There's truth in that also. OR just maybe there's no lesson at all. I could just be a guy who can't sleep and is filling his time with ramblings about his sleep patterns that nobody else cares about. Maybe there are some things in life where there are no spiritual applications. Those are my random thoughts at 1:12 am in the morning. What are yours?

I'm Back!

It's good to be home. I spent the last two weeks directing camp for 1st thru 6th graders. Click here to see some of the pics. It was a great two weeks being part of the faith journeys of 331 kids, but like I said, it's good to be home. It's good to get some rest.

Rest is an important part of our faith journeys. God didn't take a day off because he ran out of things to do. He modeled something important for us. If we don't rest, we eventually fall apart. I know a college professor at a Christian college who routinely tells his students to go get some sleep when they come to him with spiritual problems. It's amazing how a lack of rest adversely affects our decision making, even in spiritual matters.

On at least two occasions in my life, a lack of rest became a serious issue. In the fall of 2001 I hit the brick wall of burnout from not managing the many items on my plate in a healthy manner. It took several months for me to recover emotionally and spiritually from that time. Two weeks ago, as the first week of camp begin, I was teetering on the brink of going to a similar place. I had been averaging about 4 hours sleep per night over the last six months. What made this time end differently was the presence of friends who cared about me and were willing to take the reins. I gave them the director's hat and left camp for a day. I checked into a hotel and slept til almost noon the following day.

We underestimate the value of rest in anything we do. God wants us at our best, not our worn out, barely hanging on selves. As you journey, take a look at your struggles. Do you need some rest? Who can take the reins for you so you can? Just a thought.

Not Alone part 2

A friend of mine who knows I'm preparing to run a half marathon is working hard to make sure I'm prepared. He's the only person who asks me regularly how my running is going. He keeps volunteering to run with me because he plans to run as well. Problem is this guy is like a machine. He works out all the time. He lies down on the floor while the kids from church all jump up and down on his stomach and he never flinches. He even offered to run at my pace. When he told me what his "slow days" were, I 'bout had a heart attack. If I want to survive to run in November, I need to get in better shape before running with this guy.

Running is one of those things I've always done alone, except when I coached high school cross country. Then I would run with my team. Most of them had no idea how hard I struggled to keep up with the best. Luckily I had the excuse of having to hold back to keep the rear half moving. I really do want to run with my friend because I know that I will get in shape a lot faster with him pushing me. I just worry about surviving the pushing!

My faith journey has always benefitted when I "ran" with someone who was much better than I. I could watch their lives and see how they handle things. I could learn to "do" things like them. I can look back and see how I grew.

There have been times where someone wanted to "run" with me so they could grow in their faithi journeys. It was an honor and privilege to be part of their spiritual growth. I had to be careful not to push them too hard beyond what they were capable of. That is not always easy to determine as a coach. Many times those of us with more experience forget that we had to work ourselves into spiritual shape.

How is your running going? Who do you need to begin training with, either for your benefit or theirs? Just a thought.

I'm Not Alone

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with some people about one of my favorite things in the whole world - peanut butter. I was lamenting the continued absence of my brand of choice - Peter Pan reduced fat crunchy. In fact, there is no Peter Pan to be found of any type. I know I've ranted about this before, but this has got to stop. I need my peanut butter. I haven't found any other brand that I like.

An interesting thing happened. In the small group of about twenty that I was speaking to, several heads began to nod in sympathy, no make that empathy. We all shared our frustration with the long wait we are enduring for the creamy crunchy nectar of heaven made by Peter Pan to return to the shelves. They too had tried other brands and the other brands had come up short. I learned I was not alone. The five or six of us continued to talk off to the side about our woes with regards to our forced abstinence from one of our favorite foods.

It is good to discover you are not alone in your suffering, especially in more serious matters. After suffering through occupational burnout and a near nervous breakdown, I was surprised and relieved to discover just how many of my colleagues had gone through similar experiences. Even though I was well into my recovery at the time, it was encouraging to learn that my experience was somewhat normal. It is always amazing to watch the look on someone's face when they are sharing their troubles and someone else comes along and says, "Me too!"

I've said this before, but it's worth saying a thousand more times, this is one of the reasons you should never journey alone. We need to find others that will journey along the path of faith with us. They will be able to say, "Me too!" when times get hard and their experiences can become learning tools and support for us. We can "pay it forward" by doing the same for someone else down the road. Everyone benefits when they do it together. Just a thought.

Yard Work revisited

This morning I mowed most of my yard. I only mowed most of it because my oldest son is at the age where he wants to start mowing the lawn. Right now it only appears to be cool. I'm sure it won't be long before the coolness wears off this chore. I saved him a small patch on the corner for him to begin practicing his skills with the push mower. Tonight, after supper, he will make his lawn mowing debut. It may even turn out to be the beginning of every boy's first paying job - mowing the neighborhood lawns.

But my son's debut is not what prompted this thought. The last time I mowed, I noticed something about how I felt. I've posted before how I felt about doing yard work - here and then again here and finally here. In that last post I really lamented the lawn mowing chore at our previous house. I don't have those feelings of dread when I mow my current lawn. And I have approximately twice as much lawn now.

The difference is in the equipment. Before, all I had a was 22 inch push mower. Now I am using a big ol' John Deere 48 inch self propelled mower. This is a real man's mower. I bet the Marlboro man uses one of these when he mows his lawn around the campsite. Someone who used to have a lawn maintenance business was kind enough to let me borrow this machine he no longer uses until I can get my own. It's amazing what having the right equipment will do to change your attitude toward a task.

Lots of us are stuck in jobs or situations we hate because we feel ill-equipped for the task at hand. Or we feel like we are expected to do something without the proper tools. Living a faith journey can sometimes be like that. We get intimidated by the perfect ideal set of expectations that seem impossible to fulfill. The good news is that God equips us for the journey. He doesn't want us to hate the yard work. He wants us to enjoy the manly pleasure of a huge piece of yard machinery. Well, maybe not that, but he does want us to enjoy and be successful along the journey. That why he gives us his Holy Spirit.

I'm glad he equips us. I've found myself in situations far bigger than me on lots of occasions. Without his equipment, I don't know what I would have done. Now, if my son can become fully equipped and capable soon . . . .

Can you hear me now?

For the past several weeks, I feel like I've been bombarded with the same message from God. Actually two different messages. I'm one of those people who actually believes I've heard the voice of God. I don't mean in the whisper of the wind or the beauty of a sunset. On a few occasions I'm 99.9999% sure that the audible voice spoken for me alone to hear was God's voice. On the other 3,439,923,653,459 times it was through other means like something I read (the Bible or some other book), a song I heard, the counsel of a friend, the criticism of a detractor, or that deep down feeling in my gut.

The last few weeks the messages have come through the more ordinary means listed above. As a result of the constant bombardment of one message, we have reached a decision as a family to begin actively pursuing the fostering to adopt process. We feel like we are being led to expand our family by welcoming in a child that needs a caring home. The other message is more of a personal message for me alone. I'm still trying to process what action, if any, I'm supposed to take. I'm trying to determine if he is pointing out something that needs correcting and by what means he wants me to take that action.

Listening to God's voice through his many communication channels is one of the most exciting, confusing, and scary activities I know. I am constantly asked how one knows what God wants them to do. I usually fall into my standard spiel that begins with paragraph 1 above. My own experience and the testimonies of many other people confirm that God will actually speak to you and you will recognize his voice through these means.

Sometimes you will hear people sort of jokingly say, "I wish God would speak to me in a burning bush so I'll know for sure." I've wished the same thing. In fact, I was sharing with a friend the other night a decision I've made and I'm 99% sure it's one I should make. Before I sign off on it as 100% sure, I'm waiting for God to tell me it's not. And my words were, "Unless God speaks to me in a burning bush and tells me otherwise, here's what I'm going to do . . ." I feel certain in a few weeks I'll know whether he has been silent or not on the matter.

Along our faith journeys, God guides us and leads us. He talks to us through all the ways listed above and more. There are times when he is speaking and we don't recognize his voice. There are other times when we mistake the voice of ourselves as the voice of God. How have you learned to recognize his voice? How has God been speaking to you? What kinds of things has been telling you?

Tales from Venus & Mars

A series of incidents have raised the subject of gender differences on my radar screen this week. The cover story of Newsweek deals with people who are transgender and the many definitions of that word. I received a comment on my post about The Disappearing Man that at least brought up male-female power interactions. I also finished Fusion Fire, the second book in The Firebird Trilogy by sci-fi wwriter Kathy Tyers. It was the book that created the most thoughts for me.

What spurred so many thoughts is the style of Fusion Fire. I'm sure that I will come under fire for this comment, but it is obvious (at least to me!) that this book was written by a woman. I'm certain that I have read sci-fi written by women before. Yet this is the first time that it was so obvious to me. One thing that gave it away was the romance. Other books have included romance and love affairs. This one had a distinctively different flavor from those other books authored by men.

Actually, this is the second time I've noticed it. A few weeks ago I read Arena by Karen Hancock. The romance was not as strong, but the main character was a woman. The point of view of book was written from a woman character's point of view. Again, it had that "flavor". It did not feel like a man author struggling to pretend to be a woman as he crafted the character. Honestly, it was hard for me to get into Arena or Firebird initially because the point of view felt so distinctly feminine and utterly different from what I usually find in sci-fi. I think when I recognized this, the barriers were finally shattered. I really enjoyed both books.

For those of you who think I'm full of it, I know at least one other person shares my assessment that you can tell the difference between a man's and a woman's writing. Go back and read the article in Newsweek. Read the related article about journalist Christine Daniels. She used to be Mike Penner. In the story you'll read about how he had to learn to do things the way a boy/man would do them because he said it did not come natural. That included writing. He (or she?) claims that just by reading a article he/she can tell you the gender of the author because of his thorough study.

And guess what? I think that men and women do things differently on their faith journeys. In my Disappearing Man post, I hinted at the idea that modern Christianity has somehow been feminized to the point that many men don't feel comfortable in church. Some of it is because church has become touchy-feely. There has been discussion among lots of people smarter than I that even the type of songs we sing in church are a turn off to men. Some have referred to these two factors and a few more as the combined "Jesus is my boyfriend" effect. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how such an atmosphere would turn away many men.

I think it's great that we have been made differently. That's one of the things that makes marriage so wonderful. Hopefully the husband and wife complement each other. I noticed even tonight as we tried to get the boys to bed. The evening had ended kind of rough and the boys were obviously feeling a little hurt emotionally. I could sense that they needed to connect emotionally with us before going to bed. But part of me, either the hurt little boy of my youth still inside of me or the hard nosed man image of society inside of me, wanted to say "Suck it up and go to bed. Tomorrow's a new day and we can all start fresh. Let this memory remind you of what's expected of you." At the same time, I could see my wife, without consciously doing anything, moving more into a nurturing role. Before someone accuses me of withholding love from my children, all emotional connections were made. The point is that at first glance, my wife and I naturally gravitated towards two very different responses.

Back to our faith journeys. There are more than gender differences that play into our faith journeys. Personality differences also dictate our lives. Gender differences are easier to focus on because it lowers the number of groups to just two - male & female. Faith communities need to help BOTH genders journey in the way that is most appropriate to them. Neither set of preferences should be lifted as the ideal or best.

I've got some specific thoughts that deal primarily with men. Since I'm not a woman, I can only speculate on how woman have felt. I'd like to hear from you. What gender differences have you experienced that either helped or hindered your faith journey?

Becoming the Marlboro Man - instant version

Last week the family and I took a few days off to go camping in the mountains of NC. We camped at Grandfather Campground, located at the base of Grandfather Mountain. It was another step in becoming the Marlboro Man. I've got photos to prove I'm getting closer to my goal. The boys each caught a 3 pound trout and that night we cooked a portion of it over an open fire.

Of course, there are a few questions as to whether I am actually any closer to my goal. First, my sons are the ones who actually caught the fish. Second, they caught them at a stocked pond. I estimate the baited hooks were in the water less than 30 seconds before a fish grabbed them. In all seriousness, I don't really think I'm instantly Mr. Outdoorsman.

We live in a society where we are accustomed to things happening instantly. We want it and we want it now. We want plug and play computer and home entertainment devices. We want quick dissolve, fast acting medicines. We want to cook all our meals in a microwave and we don't even want to program them. Make sure they have popcorn, baked potato, bread & roll, and instant defrost buttons.

We even want instant progress on our faith journeys. We to avoid any struggle that might benefit us. We want to avoid any of the hard work that faith requires. We want a walk in a rose garden. Yet we grow the most when we have to struggle. It's when you wrestle with those hard questions that your faith journey benefits the most. When I look back at those times when I struggled the most, I see the times of most growth in my life.

I may not have become the Marlboro Man instantly last week, but I did learn a few things. That's important to remember too. You may not be as close to the goal as you would like, but you are probably closer than you were when you started. There are also other benefits. Fresh trout cooked over an open fire sure is good.

Disappearing Peanut Butter

Remember all the recalled peanut butter due to the salmonella scare back in February? Well, I'm waiting for the peanut butter to come back! The shelves (at least here in NC) have been disappointingly and deplorably void of my favorite substance. When will it be safe to eat again? When will they return the product to the stores? It made me think about all the pet food that has recently been recalled. Will pet owners go months without food for their dogs and cats?

What is taking so long to restock the shelves? Is it the supply pipeline? Is it the cleaning process of the affected equipment? Is it the cooking process? Whatever it is, I never knew that keeping the nation supplied with peanut butter was such a huge venture.

This lack of peanut butter is becoming a real problem for me. When I want a snack, I can't just go to the pantry, grab a jar and eat a couple of tasty spoonfuls. It's forcing me to look for alternatives, not all of which (or ANY of which for that matter) are all that healthy.

In my spiritual journey, I have made similar mistakes. There have been times where I have negelected that which would be healthy for my journey. Things like Bible study, times of prayer, and time together with others on a faith journey. I substituted less healthy things like time together with people not on a faith journey or perhaps even antagonistic towards such an idea. I tried to live on my reserves of healthy eating before without replenishing. It worked for a while, but they eventually gave out.

When I realized my error, I began the turn around. I began to do those things which fostered my faith journey again. What about you? What were the symptoms or signs you needed to get back to healthier ways? How did you turn it around? Of course, it did take a while, just like the peanut butter. It would have been better if it hadn't happen at all. The good news is I returned. Now if only the peanut butter would.

Look Out!

I hit a mailbox Saturday. It really hurt too. I wasn't in a car - I was out jogging. Once you stop laughing, read on to see why. . . .

Here's how it happened. Earlier in the week I discovered when jogging up hill, it helps to not look at the top of the hill. When you focus on the top, it feels like you never get there. It seemed to be more tiring, more discouraging. So, one morning I decided to keep my eyes on the road just ahead of my feet. After conquering the hills with ease this way, I decided this would become standard operation for me, especially as I look ahead to running a half-marathon through the hilly parts of Raleigh this November.

So, Saturday afternoon, I'm out jogging. I didn't really stretch well before heading out. I was already a little tired and hungry before leaving. I'm not sure I'm up for this last hill. But I have my new trusty method to get me over the hump, literally. I've got my head down and I'm powering up the hill. That's when it hit me, or more appropriately, I hit it. I ran right into a mailbox. Apparently, this particular mailbox was a lot closer to the road than all the others because its edge hung over the white line. I made it home with a minor abrasion on my left arm.

Now I'm rethinking this whole strategy. Or I'm at least modifying it some. And you know me, I began to have a few thoughts about how this might be applied to my faith journey. I can think of some leadership applications like balancing the long term and short term perspective. I know somewhere there has to be a faith journey application. I think part of it is you have to look where you are going, or something's going to hit you and try to derail your journey.

I began to think some more and wondered to my self if it was possible to have a long term perspective on my faith journey. Besides heaven, what would that even be? What are the hills and crests we need to be mindful of? What is the short and long term balance of our faith journeys? When do I focus on my feet and when do I focus on the road ahead? What are the unexpecrted obstacles like misplaced mailboxes we need to look out for? What do you think?

I Did It! (again!)

As I was running this morning, slowly and gradually getting my body ready for my half-marathon this November, several thoughts crossed my mind. "Why am I doing this? I'd really rather be in bed." "How far can I go today? How difficult will that last hill be today?" "I have to learn to relax my arms more" "Discipline is a good thing."

The thought about discipline is the important one. Discipline has been on my radar a lot lately. I have a few friends who frequently take stock trading classes. They do a lot of "practice trading" with no money to hone their skills. Their goal is to be able to retire three to five years once they start doing it with real money. One guy commented that it was important he practice because it developed discipline within him that transferred to other areas of his life - even spiritually. He reads his Bible more. He takes his faith journey more seriously.

Another friend one time spoke about the negative aspects of discipline transfer. When he was in high school, his youth pastor was really into weightlifting. The youth pastor used physical fitness as a metaphor for spiritual fitness. It was a good idea. Eventually, it became a legalistic pursuit. "If you are really following God, you will take care of your body and be in peak physical condition" became the underlying message. My friend drifted away from his faith journey for a while. You must learn to avoid those kinds of traps, not mistaking the means for the ends.

The good thing about discipline is it allows you to say "I did it!" Accountability helps with that. Accountability helps you accomplish good things, not just avoid bad things. Everyone likes a feeling of accomplishment, whether it be a clean house, losing 20 pounds, running a marathon, or even reading your Bible.

What are the things you want to accomplish on your faith journey? What type of discipline would help you? How can you implement that discipline? Do you need help in any of these areas? What traps do you need to be wary of? Do you want to be able to say, "I did it!"?

I Did It!

This morning I have a lot of thoughts. Why is it taking so long for Peter Pan peanut butter to return to the shelves? When will the warm spring weather return to stay? Has the onslaught of pollen ended for the season? On a more somber note, I wonder how the students, staff, and parents of Virginia Tech are coping this morning. Some friends and I watched the footage over a lunch meeting yesterday and it certainly changed the tone of our time together. At the risk of sounding generic, my prayers are certainly with them.

But that's not what I want to post. I am one step closer to reaching a personal goal. This morning I registered for the City of Oaks Marathon. Actually, I registered for the half marathon, but I have the option to upgrade at any point between now and Nov 3. Now my goal is to tell everyone I know, not because I want to say, "Hey, look at me - I'm going to run a half-marathon." I'm telling everyone because now if I don't do it, everyone will say, "Hey, I thought you were going to run a half-marathon!" Accountability is everything.

Some people shy away from accountability because they view it as somebody trying to catch them doing something wrong. It certainly has that feel in the public sphere of politics, corporate finances, government, etc. I prefer to see accountability as a means of helping me achieve my goals. That's one of the things that have made programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Weight Watchers so successful - they have accountability built into their systems.

Accountability helps my faith journey. At times in my life when I have experienced particular struggles, I have benefitted from accountability relationships. I had good friends who were there to love and support me. They let me know when I messed up and did not blow it off as
"Okay". They also prayed for me, helped me come up with ways to avoid or overcome my struggle. And I did the same for them. My journey has always been the most exciting and strongest when I have been in an accountability relationship.

How do you feel about accountability? Does it scare you or do you welcome it? Do you have people you could trust to keep you accountable? How do you see it strengthening your faith?

Shifting to Neutral

I'm a little later posting this week than usual. That's partly because I've taken some time off and gone on a mini-vacation with the family. It's also because I haven't had any thoughts. We've been at my mom's for a couple of days. Two or three times I've logged on and stared at the screen. I told my wife I need to post something but I can't. My mind has shifted into neutral and I have none.

That's the good thing about vacation for me. I am very successful at forgetting I have real world adult responsibilities, except of the parenting and husband-ing type. My mind shuts down. So, a-la Jerry Seinfeld, I'm writing about nothing.

I've been trying to relate this thought (or lack of thoughts) to my faith journey. What happens if my faith journey shifts into neutral? Is that even an appropriate description? Because my mind is in neutral, I can't even come up with any more questions, much less answers.

So, I need your help. What do you think? Can we shift our faith journeys into neutral? What are the effects & circumstances surrounding such a shift?

Christ is Risen!

The grave is empty. There are no bones, nor were there ever. Jesus is alive because he did rise from the dead. On this Easter morning, I hope you experience the life-changing power of the resurrection we celebrate today.

The Disappearing Man

SPOILER WARNING! Some of the female readers may be offended by what I'm about to say. Before you read any further, let me say that I am in no way trying to diminish the efforts of the women who have worked so hard with our children, boys AND girls. However, I am continually disturbed by the absence of good men in the lives of our young boys. At this point, you have been warned. Continue reading at your own risk.
************************************************

Over the weekend I attended a Cub Scout Camporee with my oldest son. There were over 700 Cub Scouts and 1600 people total at this weekend event. This particular weekend was special because it was also the moment when the oldest group of boys "crossed" over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. It was a very cool and yet solemn occasion. Each scout was greeted by his Cubmaster and the "Chief" of the Order of the Arrow on one side of the bridge. The scout then crossed a bridge where on the other side he was greeted by the Scoutmaster of his new Boy Scout troop. There, the scout was given the insignias and colors of his new standing.

As I watched this ceremony take place I was bothered by what I consider to be a stark inconsistency. I was shocked by how many women hold positions of leadership in an organization whose purpose is to train and empower boys to become capable men. Some of the roles and duties performed by women this weekend appeared to be largely administrative or organizational in nature. From that perspective, one might write this off as affinity differences in genders. Some might say that the women were doing the jobs that the men did not want to do. The guys rather be out in the woods - hunting, camping, starting fires, etc. True, given the chance, most men rather be out acting on their primal urges - myself included.

But that does not explain the number of women who were den leaders - the adults who week in and week out lead the smaller groups of boys, guiding, directing, planning all the activities, and ultimately, modeling "manhood". How are young boys going to understand what it means to be a man if a woman models it? We have several women den leaders in our pack. I'm thankful for their willingness to serve. But I am more disappointed that there are not men to fill those positions.

Church is no different. In many churches, especially smaller churches, there is a desparate need for male leadership. A friend once remarked to me that a single mom began attending his church, hoping to find some stable males who could model what it means to be a man. She had tried Cub Scouts, but all the leaders were women! Problem is, most churches have few men who are willing to work with children. (I'm thankful that in my church, we have good strong men working with ALL our age groups in our children's department. As a father of two sons, I am so thankful for them.)

Veering from the societal implications and problems that the growing percentage of women leadership in Boy Scouts presents, I think we have a bigger problem in the absence of good strong male leadership in the church. We have done something to the notion of what it means to be on a Christian faith journey that has overly feminized it. Is there something about being on a faith journey that naturally has feminine undertones? Is there something about being on a faith journey that naturally repels men but attracts women?

Someone asked me the other day if many people left comments on my blog. I told him that the type of things I write usually generate introspective thoughts, but not necessarily discussion. Please, I'd like to know your thoughts. I'd like to see some discussion on this. Am I barking up the wrong tree or am I getting close to the target? Is this a real problem, and if it is, what do we do about it?

What exactly is a faith journey?

For the last week or so, a reader by the name of Zora has been asking what I mean by "faith journey". Unfortunately, I don't think I've done a good job of answering her questions. I had hoped some others would join the confusion and clear up the mess I was making. Here's a link to the original discussion.

I've decided to answer her last set of questions here in a separate post.

1. What exactly is a faith journey? People who are more familiar with church and church terms would call this "being a Christian". Read the post I've linked to above for some of my particular nuances on the phrase, but here are the important details of what "being a Christian" means from a "faith journey" perspective. When we are born, we are automatically on a journey that takes us away from God. This is a result of original sin - the sin that Adam and Eve committed in the Garden of Eden. We will continue on this journey until we do some about it. We may do good things, be good people, etc. but the reality is that we are moving away from God. The Bible calls it "being dead in our trangsressions". At some point in our lives, we will hopefully realize we are going in the wrong direction and desire to move towards God. We have to acknowledge that the sin that was taking us in the wrong direction can only be counteracted by and removed by the death of Jesus on a cross. The church term for this is "repentance". At this point, our journeys change directions. We are now on a new path, heading towards God.
2. What do you do to stay on this faith journey? After we "repent" and begin our new journey, the Holy Spirit does a few important things. He cleans away the sins from our pasts that happened along the journey that was taking us away from God. He makes us new people who now live for him. There are things I do to help keep me on the journey and to strengthen my faith. They are things like Bible study, prayer, and being part of a community that shares my faith. That means being involved in a church on a macro level. It also means joining some smaller group within that church (like a Sunday School or a small group) on a micro level. The micro level enables you build relationships of mutual encouragement. There are many other spiritual disciplines that can and should be practiced to help us stay on the journey also. Here's a couple of good books on that matter: The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster and With Unveiled Faces by Keith Drury.
3. What do you have faith in? As noted above, it begins with a belief that the only way to have this faith journey is by having faith that the death Jesus died on a cross is the only way to get off a path towards death and onto a path towards life. I have faith that there is a God who relates to us as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I have faith that he really cares about all the little things in my life and provides for my every need - whether it be my material needs or my spiritual needs. I have faith that he will answer my prayers and it will be for my good, even if I don't like or understand it initially.
4. How does prayer help on your faith journey? Prayer is conversation with God. That means I talk AND I listen. If I listen, I will "hear" him speak and know what to do if I'm seeking guidance. But it's like learning to talk to anyone. You don't always understand everything they say in the beginning of the relationship. There are nonverbals, mannerisms, even dialectical issues you have to learn. If you really work on praying regularly and incorporate listening, you will learn to recognize his voice.
5. What types of things do you pray for? Everything! I pray for myself - that I will be a better father, husband, pastor, friend, and yes, even a better Christian. I pray for others in all the same ways. I pray for people to be healed. I pray for wisdom in important decisions. I pray for peace and comfort in times of difficulty. I pray that people who are not on a faith journey will begin one. Sometimes I just spend time praising and thanking God for who he is and what he has done. Other times I just sit and enjoy being in his presence. This is the mystical part that is perhaps the hardest to understand. Here's another book that can help in that area - Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ. It is written by Madame Jeanne Guyon, who was a 17th century Christian mystic. (Christian being the operative term!)

I think this addresses all of Zora's questions and I'm sure will generate more. As always, I would love for some of you to join the discussion.

Have a great day!

Retreating

I've got a couple of thoughts I'd like to share this morning, but I'm refraining so I can get away ASAP. I'm going on a prayer retreat for a couple of days. It's my first chance to use my new backpack as I begin the process of becoming a real man. But the best part will be a couple of days with no distractions so I can just pray. I'll let you know all about when I return.

In the meantime, I encourage you again to take part in this discussion on one of my other posts.

C-ya