Inclusion and Mother's Day

A belated Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. We spent yesterday with my wife's mother them both celebrate this special day. We went to church with her and experienced one of the best Mother's Day celebrations I've ever witness. Before I share my thoughts on that, let me take a moment to honor my own mom.

I'm the oldest of five kids, so I've witnessed my share of sacrifice on the part of my mom. I've seen household administration and organization done at its best. At an early age, I learned just how much work it takes to cook, clean, and care for a large family. Now that I have my own kids, I can look back and understand more fully the level of love, understanding, and occasional disappointment that goes into the job of parenting. As I watch the mother of my own children do a much better job than I at this gracious aspect, I appreciate more what my mother must have felt when I was growing up. Thanks for all you did and still do.

Back to yesterday. If you have ever attended church on Mother's Day, chances are pretty good that you have witnessed a service very similar to the one we were part of yesterday. The oldest mom, the youngest mom, and the mom with the most children present were given special recognition. Then, all the mothers were asked to stand. The ushers proceeded to give each woman a special token of appreciation. So far, nothing new, at least for me. Once all the mothers were seated again, the innovation came.

The pastor honored a few women who were not mothers in the biological or even the legal sense. One particular older woman was recognized for being like a mother to so many people in the church. Another childless woman was honored for her work as an OB/GYN nurse. Both of these women had wanted children, but through various circumstances had been unable to have any.

Being as sensitive to emotions as possible, the pastor then asked if there were any other women he had not included who wanted to be mothers and been unable to. Two women who had suffered numerous miscarriages came forward. It was all very moving, Through it all, I was very impressed by the way the church honored as many people as possible without offending anyone.

In my mind, I contrasted this with another Mother's Day celebration that did not go as well. In this church, the pastor did not want to offend any women, even those who had chosen to not have children. He changed the day to "Women's Day" and every woman was given a token of recognition. What happened is that more women were offended at this change then might possibly had been if the non-mothers had been excluded. The complaints I heard came from women who had children and those who did not. The complaint was the same, "This is supposed to be Mother's Day, NOT Women's Day."

All these thoughts began to be directed to the idea of inclusion in the church. In many churches, regardless of how progressive they might be, there are many exclusionary elements that make newcomers and non-church people feel out of place. The strange vocabulary we use is one of those. Unspoken habits and dress codes are another. It might be the style of music or elements of worship.

I think that church is supposed to be as inclusive as possible. I feel that way because I'm fairly certain that's the way God wants it too. I've been part of many churches that were not. When things were changed to make them a little more inclusive, people in the church responded much in the same way some of the women responded to Women's Day - negatively. I've been part of churches where people grasped the missional vision that God has for the church and dealt with it. They did not feel trampled on just because things were done to include the outsider.

In your faith journeys, where have you been excluded? Where have you felt included? How have you endeavored to include those around you that God wants to see journey with you?