It’s back! American Idol returned last week. I admit it. I got hooked last year. I really wanted Bo to win. But I NEVER EVER voted. For the next few weeks, I will carve out a couple of hours a week to watch people with big dreams try to do something they should never attempt – sing in public. I’ve got friends and family who will stop watching as soon as the real contest begins and they no longer show the rejects from the tryouts. Admittedly, that’s what got me to watching. Seeing William Hung’s rendition of She Bangs convinced me I better not miss such “quality” entertainment.
Now, I don’t for a minute think that Simon, Paula, and Randy suffer in the slightest. But would you want to sit thru thousands of obviously untalented people who really thought they were the next American Idol? There are some who tryout and it’s clear by the stunts they pull that they are just trying to get on television. But I honestly think that most of the contestants believe they have a chance. Besides Simon acting like a jerk, why else would they come out so hurt emotionally?
I have never been accused of being an overly compassionate guy, but I also have to wonder why some of these people’s friends and family don’t stop them from making fools of themselves? It’s one thing to be supportive and I know that mothers never want to hurt their children. But come on! Don’t pump somebody up and encourage them to do something that they really can’t do.
I know it’s a hard row to hoe, but as a real friend or father I have to lovingly encourage people NOT to do certain things. It’s part of that tough love thing. There are times that I watch people on their faith journeys and I can see they are doing things they never should be doing. Or they are just heading in the wrong direction. It has to be done delicately in some cases, but it is far better to help someone make the corrections before they get too far. Maybe it’s the delicate part that steers most people away from helping their friends and families.
It REALLY bothers me in the church when a group of people on their faith journey together don’t step in to help a friend. If you see a friend heading in the wrong direction, shouldn’t you help turn them around? Why are we so afraid of being labeled judgmental? Is it better as a church family on a faith journey together to mourn with a person who is suffering the consequences of some bad choices because we didn’t step in? Or even worse, to mourn the absence of that friend from our family because they have abandoned the journey altogether? I don’t think either one is a viable option.
So what do we do about it? If you are on a faith journey, how and when do you want to be advised of how you are doing? I’d like to know your good AND bad experiences. What are your thoughts?
When is the right time?
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This past week I had coffee with the pastor of the church we're now
attending. I talked for about an hour straight, telling my story. All the
while he prov...
15 years ago
2 comments:
It's one thing to have a dream. It's one thing to suffer from a severe spinal cord injury, terrible childhood, be a 30-something has-been high school baseball coach and make it to the majors, or fill in the blank with your pick of impossible circumstances and overcome diversity. It's quite another to do something you CANNOT do. The difference between William Hung and the guy who comes out uttering expletives about the judges' heritage is that I really don't believe Hung thought he was the next AI. There has be a touch of reality in all these cases. "Honey I love you and I want to see all your dreams come true and I will help you every way I can. But you need to realize that this is a lot of work and not everybody is going to make it and you are probably going to have to work harder than everybody because the odds are heavily stacked against you. In fact, it's near impossible, but I will walk with you if you want to."
Yes, I seemingly contradicted myself with that last statement because we don't know what the parents and friends have said in private. But that's really not what this post is about. This post is about us keeping our mouths shut when our friends are making bad choices. Part of the problem is that we have made our faith journeys individual experiences. Yes, we each have to make our own individual decisions regarding how we are going to relate to God. But the journey was NEVER ment to be taken alone. If I am part of a group hiking the Appalachian Trail and I decide I want to follow some rabbit path while the rest stays on the main trail, I'm hoping they are going to try to keep me with them. And that's why a group is important, so that your never danced, never gone to a movie friend is not the ONLY voice of correction in your life.
Maybe it's wrong of me to comment since I "read over" all that was said. I'm trying to be a good steward of time and use my time wisely. However, just wanted to share a situation I was recently faced with. Last fall some friends and I found out that another friend's husband was moving out, was asked to leave. Long story short, he was not giving her the attention she felt she needed and she met someone else although she says she wasn't looking. Some friend and I were meeting for our bi-weekly prayer time and decided to go to her house to talk to her. She did not know we were coming. We were there for a good 3 hours. At first, I thought we were crazy b/c I've never done anything like that. Fast forward, the husband moved back and supposedly they were going to work on their marriage. I know it's a "he said she said" deal but I think he has been more willing than her. He has been to church more often, bringing their two daughters with him. He admits he did not give her the attention he should have. Well, on our 1st night of the new Bible study, she tells several of us afterwards that they are splitting up, that it's the best thing and they were going to do it right. She is still seeing this guy and the husband has found a house. I recently heard a radio broadcast of Pastor Greg Laurie which I thoroughly enjoy titled Strenthening your Marriage. He said that when infidelity is involved, it takes time to heal and the couple needs to talk to someone. I immediately thought of this couple. I orderd a copy last week and I was going to send it to her. I admit I wasn't sure if I should and was going to send it anonymous b/c of fear, I suppose, of what this friend will think. However, I want her to know that I do love her but I do not support what she has done or is doing and I don't think she gave the marriage a try b/c they didn't go to any type of counseling. So what you said hit home and I agree. We have to speak in Christian love but sometimes we need to be honest w/ these people. I'm not sure if it will save a marriage but I heard the broadcast for a reason and this couple came to mind for a reason.
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