New Job!

I'm very excited because I'm going back to school. I've been working the last three weeks as a temp for the Raleigh CDSA, a state agency that provides early intervention services for children aged birth to three years. Next week I begin my job as a 7th grade math teacher at Clayton Middle School. I'm really pumped about the opportunity to work at the number 1 ranked middle school in the Johnston County School system. Soon I hope to post some of the cool things that have already happened since getting the job. For now, just celebrate with me.

Rooting for the bad guy

The other day a friend and I were reminiscing about the good ol' days when we were younger and saw Star Wars for the first time. I'll never forget sitting on the first row of the theater as a third grader when "A long, long, time ago in a galaxy far, far away . . ." flashed across the screen. I remember that my friends and I all looked at each other and said, "Is this a true story?" I relived the same excitement and adrenaline rush when Lucas began to make the prequels of epsiodes 1, 2, and 3. When my wife and I went to see Star Wars: The Phantom Menace at a midweek matinee, I got chill bumps of excitement. I experienced the same excitement when I introduced my boys to this greatest set of movies ever made. But enough about my geekness.

As my friend and I relived our magical childhood, the subject of Darth Vader came up. Growing up, before we knew how Darth Vader became so evil, everyone hated him. No one wanted to be Darth Vader. You may have bought the Darth Vader figure and his tie fighter, but only so someone else could pretend to be him while you saved the day. That's not the case today. Kids like to be Darth Vader today all because they know he used to be Anakin Skywalker, who until he finally crossed the line to join the dark side, was a pretty good guy. I must admit, even I look differently at Darth Vader now, although I don't find myself necessarily liking him.

Is this a dangerous trend, excusing evil, even looking up to it, on the basis of the good that may have been done in the past or the knowledge that the evil doer will turn from his wicked ways? Or is it a lesson in grace, seeing the good in people? After all, Luke Skywalker says of his father repeatedly, "There's still good in him, I know." What do you think?

What is wrong with me?!!!

Pardon me while I engage in self-loathing and general American culture criticism, but we are so stupid! Because I have never smoked pot, drunk more than a sip or two of alcohol (only once voluntarily), or done anything other than prescription drugs, I do not have a very long resume of brain cell killing activities beyond normal childhood falls on the head. In order to meet the prerequisite quota of mind-numbing activities mandated by the Council of US Cultural Standards Enforcment Board, I watch television. Tonight I watched a few minutes of the Baby Borrowers and then the first sixty seconds of Celebrity Circus. When I stop to think that I have at least three blue million other similar options by which I can fulfill my duties, it makes me want to stand up and sing like Lee Greenwood, belting out "I'm Proud to Be an American." I'd probably change the next line to "where at least my brain is numb".

Thank you, and goodnight.

P.S. Despite looking like rather obvious product placement ads, none of the above links will net me any money.

Being Shaped in the Smithy

In case you're wondering, a smithy is another name for a forge or a blacksmith's shop. I made what many may think to be a mistake a few weeks ago. I gave my boys the idea that they could actually be blacksmiths. Now. In their back yard. It started out as an innocent experiment to see if we could heat some thin scrap metal up enough that we could shape it into arrowheads so that we could further engage in another dangerous activity, making and shooting our own homemade arrows. So, we arranged some concrete blocks to create a small forge, collected some firewood, and proceeded to experiment with our self-taught blacksmith skills.

It did not work quite as I had hoped. You can't really get hot enough coals with ordinary wood. Still, I received a pretty painful burn. Luckily I was the only one. That has not deterred my boys. Ever since that first attempt, I am constantly bombarded with requests to light up the old smithy again so they can play blacksmith. I have declined 95% of those requests on the basis of it's too hot to stand over a fire, it doesn't really work, I can't stand outside and just watch you for safety's sake right now, and at least one I don't feel like right now.

This past Saturday, I relented and gave them permission. I even took a chance and left them unsupervised with fire and hot metal implements. After a few minutes of watching their actions, I felt fairly confident they would not do anything foolish. Nevertheless, I prayed fervently for their safety before returning to the cooler interior portion of my house.

During those minutes of watching these two young blacksmiths at work in their forge, a profound lesson about parenting, coaching, and mentoring occurred to me. I had, foolishly I thought, made them believe they could actually be blacksmiths. And as far as they were concerned, they were actually succeeding. Isn't that part of what I am supposed to be doing as a father, instilling dreams in my children and helping them fulfill their dreams?

Likewise as a person on a Christian faith journey and as a pastor, part of what I am supposed to be doing is helping understand and strive for the dream of a better life that is marked by the grace of God as it is being reshaped into what he initially created it to be. It's not an impossible dream. I do not have to live a life marked by the effects of sin.

Saturday, I was one in the fire, being shaped and molded by my junior blacksmiths. And I'm glad I was.

Microwave Thoughts

We recently bought a gently and seldom used microwave to replace the one we had. Our old microwave just wasn't performing well. It cooked unevenly, if it cooked at all. You never knew what kind of noise it was going to make. Sometimes it would come on all by itself. Fearing for our safety, we consulted Craig's List to find a new one.

Because it's used, we don't have a manual. I need to search for one on the internet. One button has me really intrigued. As a male, I'm excited to see it in action. The caption on the button reads, "Inverter Turbo Defrost". I'm not exactly sure what type of high octane engine powers this function, but I can't wait to see it in action. It has to be WAY better than regular old defrost like on our old microwave.

This new microwave is a lot more powerful. Popcorn used to take forever and then a lot of kernels remained unpopped. This baby will pop a bag in less than two minutes and you can count on one hand the number of unpopped kernels. In fact, several times there were NO unpopped kernels. Which leads me to a second question - how do you get the smell of burnt popcorn out of the microwave? We left it open on the front porch overnight. That was a week ago. When we use it now, there is still the faint odor of Orville Redenbacher transforming into charcoal briquets. I would seriously like any suggestions on that one.

I don't like everything about this new microwave. Take the door. Our old microwave had a button you pushed to open the door. You have to manually open this one. Which isn't a big deal, but it doesn't openly easily. The kids have a hard time opening it. By the time I get it open sometimes, it has been dragged six feet across the counter.

The clock is hard to read on this one as well. Our old display was so much brighter, clearer, and easier to read. Certainly the engineers had enough wiggle room in their budget to put a nicer display on the unit.

Despite these two shortcomings, I really like the new microwave. My goal in life is to be as content with the rest of my life as I am with the microwave. It's so easy to find fault with everything and everyone around you. Even clouds with silver linings cast shadows. It all depends on what you choose to see, what you choose to emphasize.

Contentment can be very elusive when it comes to money. We live in a very materialistic society. And just because the bug of materialism may not have bitten you does not mean you necessarily live a life of contentment. Paul tells young Timothy that "godliness with contentment is great gain". That statement has caused me to wonder which comes first - the godliness or the contentment.

Contentment is easier for some than others. In God's infinite wisdom, he allows some of us (me) to struggle with it more than others. But I'm trying. And to think that a microwave is leading me there.

Family Size

An unusual thought crept into my mind early this morning (as if I have any other kind of thoughts). Growing up, I only knew two kids who were only children. One girl's parents had divorced when she was very young. She and her mom lived with her grandmother until we were in high school. The other girl was simply an only child, at least as far as the knowledge we had. That girl was always a little strange and thinking back, I probably assumed it was because of her only child status.

I can recall that this only child phenomenon was an unusual one to me. I am the oldest of five children, four surviving. It has never occurred to me to ponder what life would have been like if I had been an only child. My siblings have probably wondered whether their life would have been better in my nonexistence. Being an only child just always seemed to be an oddity to me. I had several friends who were sort of only children because they had older siblings that were much older than they. But they had siblings so they were not complete oddities.

In the days when our country was mostly rural, couples had lots of children because the farm needed workers and Mr. and Mrs. Jones were going to need someone to take care of them when they were older. I don't know what the motivation to have larger families (i.e. four or more children) was in more recent times. I know that today, most couples have two children, many times for the simple reason that the children will have playmates built into the family, freeing up the parents attention. As ludicrous as it sounds, examine your own thoughts about that . . .

Personally, my wife and I would love to have three or four children. . . ideally that is. For lots of reasons we've stopped at two. But just as I could not imagine life as an only child growing up, I cannot imagine life with only one child. That's not a judgment, it's just a statement on how I'm wired.

As a person of faith who is concerned about other people knowing about the God I serve, I cannot fathom being an only child of faith either. I don't want to serve this God alone - I want to do it in a faith community with others on the same faith journey. I'm not content with keeping my family size in its current state. I want to bring other people into this family also, people who are not yet part of a faith journey. It's one of those important things Jesus told us to do when he ascended back into heaven. It's also one of those things that we will naturally want to do aif we don't overthink it.

How big is your family?

You gotta see this . . .

Baseball is my favorite sport. I would actually watch all 162 games a season if I had the time (and cable!). A friend sent me this clip. Enjoy.

June Bug correction

The annoying pest I've been trying to eliminate is not the fun to chase June bug, but in fact the Japanese beetle. My wife bought a Japanese beetle trap today and within minutes of hanging, it had collected five beetles. The linked article quotes a University of Kentucky study that says traps do more harm than good because they attract more beetles. We'll see. Either way, my thoughts in the previous post remain true, regardless of what type of bug it is!

Chasing June Bugs

Chasing June bugs has not turned out to be as much fun as I had hoped it would. For the last two weeks I have been trying to save my garden from a constant attack of these leaf hungry varmints. For some reason, June bugs really like eggplant leaves. Their second favorite seem to be either cucumber or zucchini. But even then, they prefer the eggplant 10 to 1.

Where are they all coming from?! In one day, I easily picked fifty bugs off my plants. Each day I pick at least another twenty to twenty-five minimal. I've been saving each and every one. I'm collecting them to make June bug soup. I'll spray the solution on the plants and it is supposed to keep away any future June bugs. No one wants to hang around their dead counterparts.

This is all part of my ever increasing learning curve of trying to be self-sufficient in the gardening arena. One day I'd really like to have a small farm and grow as many vegetables as possible. As I was picking off all the little buggers, I tried to imagine what this would be like on a large scale. I'm sure that explains the need for a big tractor with all kinds of cool attachments that will plow, till, harvest, and even spray things like pesticides. It also makes it sound a lot like work instead of some idealistic dream of scratching your Green Acres itch.

I guess it's all part of the list of never-ending metaphors that come along to help us understand what life is supposed to be like, even life on a faith journey. There will be the normal bug infestations that must be dealt with. Real life, and real faith, requires work. But even though it's work does not mean it can't be enjoyable and fulfilling. Life on this side of death will never be absolutely perfect, though I believe it becomes closer to being so each day, as do we.

Maybe they aren't metaphors at all. Maybe we are seeing the real thing, real life itself. Maybe the utopian ideal is right before us if we will just live in contentment, dealing with each circumstance as it comes along and not perceiving everything as a hindrance or test. Maybe this IS what chasing June bugs is supposed to be like. Just a thought.

I (almost) did it!

Today I did the hardest thing I've ever done since becoming a pencil pushing desk jockey after graduating from college. I took the Physical Agility Test as part of the application process to become a firefighter for the city of Raleigh. I've been kinda training for this test over the last couple of months. I went in today not really believing I would pass. But, I almost did it. The obstacle course did me in. After the second lap, I was spent and had nothing left to give. Insufficient upper body strength left my arms a pair of wet noodles after exiting the tunnel on the second lap.

But I am not ashamed. Despite being disappointed at not passing the test, I know I gave my best and tried my hardest. Even though I was intimidated by all the former football players, younger men and women, and others in much better shape than I, I was greatly encouraged by everyone there. Everyone cheered for everyone else. One guy in particular was going around congratulating everyone. When I came out the tunnel and had to stop, he even offered to go thru the course with me to get me through one last time.

Honestly, I do not think I would have done as well as I did on the rest of the test if not for the feeling of instant community that was present. I met guys who were taking this test for the fifth time! Being a firefighter was a dream they were not ready to give up. And they provided some of the best encouragement. Each one told me to give it another shot in January.

This is what it should be like on a faith journey. It is one of perseverance. It should be one of community. It should be one of a persevering, encouraging community. So many times the faith community is guilty of shooting the wounded in the name of discipleship. Consequences are necessary but so are restoring functions. After the community has handed down the consequences, it should whatever possible to help that person be restored to whatever level he has fallen from. As I left the training center today, the Chief only spoke words of encouragement.

Despite "failing" I feel good. Despite being unemployed STILL, I feel good. On second thought, maybe I did do it.

Fish Envy

Saturday was our last day at the beach. I wanted to get one more day of fishing in, if at all possible, without taking away from spending time with the boys. So, I got up at 6:00 am and went on down to the pier. While buying my fishing pass, I decided to buy a couple of new rigs and try something different than plain ol' bottom fishing. I even bought a bucket of minnows.

Things started off great. On my second cast, I had hooked something. Just as I had him reeled above the surface of the water, he shook himself off. This isn't a "the one that got away" story, but it was a nice size bluefish that would have been good eating. I was encouraged. Today I would catch some fish.

I baited another minnow and threw out my line. As the guy standing five yards to my left landed another blue, I felt a tug on my line. I went to set the hook and could tell there was nothing. I waited for the fish to make a second try, and sure enough he did. The tug was harder, but the hook did not set. I waited some more. After waiting long enough to realize I better check my bait, I reeled in my hook to find nothing but the head of the minnow left. I'm guessing a hungry blue took the rest.

But I'm still encouraged. Baiting another minnow, I try again. Nothing. More nothing. I changed rigs and go to a more traditional setup, like the guy to my left. He's pulling in fish every few minutes. I use the same rig, the same bait, cast into basically the same spot. He's catching fish. I'm not. At 9:30 I call it quits to go body boarding with the boys and get some breakfast.

In the course of those few days I was on the pier, I watched several people, all using the same lure, pull in bluefish almost at will. At a minimum, I watched people cast out and retrieve this plug with a 25% success rate. In other words, every fourth cast yielded a fish. After my wife saw it in action, she gave me permission to go buy one from the pier tackle shop and give it try.

I excitedly attached the plug to my line. I anxiously cast out and began retrieving the lure. After about ten tries - nothing. Meanwhile, a guy down the pier using the exact same lure is landing a fish every fourth cast. I watched what he was doing to see what I could do differently. For starters, he was able to cast out about twice as far me. Secondly, he had perfected the little jerking motion you are supposed to use while retrieving the lure. I surmised the problem was I was not quite reaching the fish. When I asked him how he was able to cast so much farther than I, his answer was, "This is a $350 rod and reel. You probably aren't going to get it out that far."

I accepted that answer. I had inferior equipment. He then added that I was using too heavy a line. He recommended I not use more than 12 lb. line. I tried for about ten more minutes. I figured bluefish were not in my immediate future. I gathered up my stuff and called it a day.

Knowing Sunday was Fathers Day, I went back to the camper and dropped hints for a $350 rod and reel. However, as I analyzed this man's answer, it did not make sense, at least in terms of pricey reels. He was using a spinning reel, same style as me. The reel has nothing to do with the casting in that setup. Maybe he was just plain better and didn't know it. Maybe he liked to brag about his expensive equipment. Maybe he didn't really know and was giving his best guess. I'm guessing the experience and skills had more to do with it than anything. Luckily, I can develop those much quicker than I can buy a $350 rod and reel.

Besides crying about not catching any fish, why do I write this? We all encounter things in our lives that we enjoy doing, feel called to do, or just want to try. We don't always encounter success in those things. We watch the people around us doing the same things and they have lots of success. We are faced with a bunch of different options - quit, keep trying, get help or training, find satisfaction with our current performance, or live in a state of frustration.

You might call this a stretch, but I think the only option for someone on a faith journey is to keep trying and do it for the glory of God - even fishing. We are told to do everything we do for the glory of God. That's going to require a lot of prayer. You're going to want to quit. You're going to wonder if you should keep doing it. You're going to wonder if this is a real calling or just a pipe dream.

Of course not everything carries the same importance as catching a cooler full of bluefish, but those things that do should be continued. At some point, you are going to be called to do something and you will feel like you have no success. Just because it's a calling doesn't mean you will have great results. You will see friends, colleagues, and others doing the same thing with a lot better results. Success can only be measured by your faithfulness to the task. As long as you are faithful, you are successful. If you are using any other definition, you are using the wrong one. Everything else leads to fish envy.

Just a thought . . .

"I Fish, Therefore I Lie"

So said a bumper sticker I saw at the pier today. I'm in the middle of a long weekend at the beach with the family. Today while playing in the surf with the boys, I watched the people along the pier standing there, many just waving their rods up and down continuously, like the apprentice in a blacksmith's shop stoking the fire with the bellows. While on the pier, I watched these same fisherman just stand there, keeping their rods in motion, engaging in conversation and almost oblivious to their repetitive motion. I wonder if they do that in their sleep?

I thought of myself the day before. I had spent the day fishing on the pier, only to come back to the camper with an empty cooler. What makes a person stand there all day, holding onto a stick with a piece of string tied to the end and hanging it in the water? As I grew increasingly frustrated with the empty cooler and contemplated when I would call it quits for the day, something would keep me going. I would get a bite. I would reel in my line only to catch a croaker that was too small, a pinfish, a baby shark, or some other ugly thing that no one could identify. As long as I caught one of these with enough frequency, I would keep going, hoping the next one would be a keeper. Or maybe the guy next to me would reel in a keeper and encourage me to keep trying.

There are a lot of lessons we can draw from this fish story. I might go on to say that we do some pretty stupid things sometimes and think we're having great fun. Or we could talk about how if a thousand people do a stupid thing it's still a stupid thing. Perhaps this is a great time to talk about doing nothing that's work related and taking a regular sabbath.

I'm thinking it's a great opportunity to talk about the hope that keeps us going when nothing else can. It does not matter how bad things might seem or be, there is always hope for those of us on a faith journey with Jesus Christ as our Savior. In his letter to the Romans, Paul tells us a lot about hope and how it keeps us going in tough times. Later Paul tells us that not only does this hope not disappoint us and keep us going, but it's a hope that promises a better life where we share in the glory of God. In fact, God is a God of hope and wants to fill us with it on this journey.

No matter what's happening in your life, there is always hope. And that's no fish story.

Honor and Respect

It's Memorial Day. Many churches across the country most likely took the opportunity to honor those who had given their lives in service to our country. Perhaps surviving relatives in their congregations were honored. I'm sure that even living vets were somehow recognized in some services. Other churches may have taken a slightly different approach. They may have used the opportunity to denounce our current war and the taking of life in combat in general. That's part of what makes this country so wonderful - the freedom to do either one.

War, no matter how necessary, is never a good thing. NBC Dateline aired a story last night about PTSD in soldiers returning from the war in Iraq. It highlighted studies done ever since WWII that measure how many soldiers actually shoot to kill versus simply firing in the enemies general direction. One lietunant colonel, in talking about the current post war/returning home health survey mentioned that soldiers are asked if they were injured or ever in grave danger. He said one of the most important questions not asked is, "Did you kill anyone?"

War, no matter how necessary, is never a good thing. When Saving Private Ryan came out ten years ago, a vet back home who served in the D-Day invasion said the film's depiction of the blood, confusion, violence, pain, etc. was head-on accurate. My wife and I watched Dr. Zhivago last night. In one scene where the Russian army is advancing to toward the front to engage the Germans in WWI, you get a sense of the despair encountered in the cold, harsh, bleak environment, littered with barbed wire and sharpened posts ready to impale someone. You see the hopelessness on the faces of the soldiers. It reminded me that war, no matter how necessary, is never a good thing.

Contrary to how it might seem, this is not an anti-war post. I'm posting no opinions on our current conflict, at least not today. This is a reminder to stop today to honor those men and women who throughout history, have given their lives for our country and our freedom. Don't qualify the recognition you give by denouncing the current administration or the current war. Just show respect and honor to these fallen heroes. Unqualified and well deserved honor and respect.

The Curse of Knowledge

In Made to Stick, brothers Chip and Dan Heath describe what they call the Curse of Knowledge. It's the tendency for people to find it hard to imagine (or remember) what it was like to NOT know something once we know it. As the writers put it, ". . . it becomes difficult for us to share our knowledge with others, because we can't readily re-create our listener's state of mind." Try this example they use to illustrate this. Tap out the rhythm to a familiar song like The Star Spangled Banner. Have someone listen and try to guess the song. Chances are about 1 in 50 they will guess it. You will have a hard time believing they can't guess it because you can hear the tune in your head. Just to illustrate how hard it is, tap out Happy Birthday as well. You'll notice the taps are identical.


This concept of the Curse of Knowledge is very easily applied to our faith journeys. In pastoral circles, seminars, classes, and books that all deal with the idea of sharing your faith with others, one of the recurring themes is that the more recent your conversion, the more readily and enthusiastically you are to share your testimony or faith with others. Over the years, I have noticed that the more knowledge one has about God, the Bible, and faith in general, the harder it is to communicate that to someone who knows very little. It's the Curse of Knowledge.


The effects of the Curse of Knowledge then begin to multiply. The knowledgable person becomes frustrated with the unknowledgable. They begin to formulate reasons why others don't understand. Many times those reasons are extremely harsh . . . and unfounded. Soon, the knowledgable person gives up all attempts to communicate his or her faith. This intensifies a different kind of curse on those who have not heard (there's one less messenger) and on those who have the knowledge (neglect of the mission given to us).


In your own faith journey, examine how knowledgable you are. If you are pretty well seasoned and experienced, how easily can you communicate this to others? Or have you just stopped trying? If you are pretty young on your journey, do everything you can to remember what it's like to not know anything.


The Curse of Knowledge has one other effect that I have addressed here. It makes simple things overly complex. This is definitely a curse when it comes to the Gospel.

1st Time ever guest post

dlucks, a good friend of mine, shared with me this particularly insightful time he had over a grill. With his permission, I am posting his thoughts as today's guest blogger.

Vicki & I were invited to a cookout a couple weekends ago. There were 4 couples there. We have no kids...the other 3 couples have 2 kids each. They know I like to cook so they asked if I'd man the grill. I was happy too. The guy had a lot of food...even more than enough to feed 8 adults and 6 kids. There was enough food for 2 batches on the grill. I got a batch of dogs, burgers and chicken going but not being familiar with this guy's grill, I started 'em off on medium. One of the other guys was hanging out with me. We were just chit chatting about stuff, passing the time. I kept an eye on the food...it was going, but slowly, so I kept inching the temp up. There was no rush...the grill is at the top of the driveway on the side of the house...everybody else was in the backyard...adults on the deck...kids playing football and having a water gun fight in the backyard...it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Next thing I knew, the grill was turned all the way up to HIGH but the flame wasn't. The food was cooking, but slowly. Again, nobody was yelling for food yet and my one buddy (not the guy whose house we were at) was hanging with me. Everybody was coasting along. More about that in a minute.

My buddy noticed this line of Leland Cyprus trees that separated the yard we were in from the neighbor's. If you know about these trees, they are evergreens and make perfect landscape barriers. They grow about 3-4 feet a year and these were easily 20 feet tall. He contrasted those trees with one Japanese Red Maple he and his wife had planted in their own front yard 6 years ago when they moved into their house. He said that over those 6 years, that tree (although very beautiful and very meaningful to him) didn't appear to have grown more than a few additional feet in total. He said that a week or two before, as a lot of stuff had begun to bloom, he noticed that his tree hadn't greened up like some on his street. He went out to inspect the tree and when he grasped the trunk and gave it a shake, he said all of the ground at the base of the tree moved. He pulled on the trunk a bit and he said the whole tree came up out of the ground. He was standing there holding a dead tree that was so long in the making. He inspected the ground to find a huge nest of ants that had killed this tree by destroying its roots. Now, back to the grill...

It took about 30 minutes to cook that first batch and we brought them off just as it started to drizzle. The adults and kids in the back came inside and we made sure the kids had something to eat. We put the 2nd batch on as the rain picked up. The guy whose house we were at came out to ask us what we needed. I told him about the slow cooking issue. He went to his deck and pulled over his big deck umbrella for us. It was really raining now. He asked if I thought we should change out the tank. I said I didn't see how that would really make any difference. After-all, the food was cooking...just not quickly. He said we should try changing it anyway. So we did...and the 2nd batch cooked in about 8 minutes.

So what, right? I didn't think much about any of it either but a couple days later, God gave me 2 applications from those events which I shared this week at a huddle with the Small Group Leaders I coach:

• Grill - things may look ok on the surface...might be going slower than we'd like but it's ok...until stormy weather hits. Underneath the surface, we need to make sure we've got a proper and constant flow of GAS (God's Awesome Spirit).
  
• Tree - again, things may look ok at first glance...we may be fine to coast along for a season...but when we start assessing our growth, we may find that if we haven't been making sure our roots are established, protected and healthy, we are wasting our time.

We (me and the SG Leaders) spent some time talking about the "roots" that we (as leaders) should establish and protect in the groups we lead. It was a good discussion starter and the actual cookout experience was a real eye-opener for me.

First Impressions

Now that season 16 of Survivor has ended and American Idol finishes this year's run this week, I've been worried about my wife and I will do together. Tonight we may have found our answer - The Bachelorette. I always find it amazing how this matchmaking shows work. I cannot understand how anyone can go on one of these shows in order to find true love.

It's interesting and embarassing to watch when it's so many men vying for the attention of one woman. Tonight, 25 men were competing for 15 spots. And oh my, the testosterone filled antics they tried to get DeAnna's attention during this one evening. I cannot believe that some guys really think women dig some of the stuff they tried.

As we were watching tonight's episode, my wife asked me a question I could not answer immediately. She asked me what I would have done in that situation to get her attention. We've been married so long and The Bachelorette is so not like anything either of us would have done that I cannot fathom being on that show. I did eventually give her an answer and it did not involve showing off my abs, running about in a Speedo with her name stitched on it, or any of the other ridiculous antics witnessed tonight.

Pondering this question caused me to immediately think, "This would be a great blog post." How would I make a great first impression on God? Luckily, I don't have to make good first impressions. He knows I've got lots of problems and he loves me already anyway. The only thing he wants is an honest, genuine, sincere, devoted relationship with him. That's a lot easier than trying to earn roses, I can tell you. Unfortunately, we tend to treat our relationship with God more like being on The Bachelorette, trying to earn his favor.

Shapely Hamburgers - part deux

A couple of weeks ago, I shared the strange phenomenon of placing circular hamburger patties on the grill and coming back to find oval shaped patties. Following up on the suggestion of a friend, I tried cooking an oval shaped burger to see what would happen. After analyzing and eating the results, I am now ready to present my findings. On April 30, I placed 5 circular burgers and one oval burger on the grill. When the cooking was complete, I had 5 circular burgers and 1 oval burger.

I must admit, I was surprised that the circular burgers did not convert to the previously elliptical result. These results are basically meaningless in explaining the phenomenon of circle to oval conversion. Well, maybe not meaningless. But they do require more tests to prove any theories. I suspect that temperature is the culprit. The grill was probably not as a hot the second time around.

This experiment mirrors what happens in the real world all the time. We see some result that we like and we want to get the same thing. We fail to duplicate ALL the conditions. We only do the parts we see or like. We might try to be like Jared and eat nothing but Subway in order to lose weight. But if we eat all our sandwiches loaded with high carb dressings, etc. and we always eat a footlong sub, and we fail to exercise, chances are we will gain the weight that Jared lost instead of losing. We would have to duplicate every aspect of what Jared did in order to get Jared's results.

We make these same mistakes on our faith journeys all the time. We spend our lives copying the actions of others without knowing whether we are copying all of the them or even the right ones. We do not analyze our own situations. We do it under our own advisement. We might (usually) try it without the power of the Holy Spirit, which is usually the main ingredient anyway. Does any of this sound like something that has happened in your life?

For years, I have been trying to get a certain kind of results in an environment where it probably won't happen. It's been an interesting three months for me as some of this has come to head. Following what I am confident is a divine leading, I have decided to document the current stage of my faith journey online. I have created a blog where I hope to daily journal on the happenings and thoughts of my life in these regards. I invite you to watch and even participate in my faith journey at The Year of Living Faithfully.

Inclusion and Mother's Day

A belated Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. We spent yesterday with my wife's mother them both celebrate this special day. We went to church with her and experienced one of the best Mother's Day celebrations I've ever witness. Before I share my thoughts on that, let me take a moment to honor my own mom.

I'm the oldest of five kids, so I've witnessed my share of sacrifice on the part of my mom. I've seen household administration and organization done at its best. At an early age, I learned just how much work it takes to cook, clean, and care for a large family. Now that I have my own kids, I can look back and understand more fully the level of love, understanding, and occasional disappointment that goes into the job of parenting. As I watch the mother of my own children do a much better job than I at this gracious aspect, I appreciate more what my mother must have felt when I was growing up. Thanks for all you did and still do.

Back to yesterday. If you have ever attended church on Mother's Day, chances are pretty good that you have witnessed a service very similar to the one we were part of yesterday. The oldest mom, the youngest mom, and the mom with the most children present were given special recognition. Then, all the mothers were asked to stand. The ushers proceeded to give each woman a special token of appreciation. So far, nothing new, at least for me. Once all the mothers were seated again, the innovation came.

The pastor honored a few women who were not mothers in the biological or even the legal sense. One particular older woman was recognized for being like a mother to so many people in the church. Another childless woman was honored for her work as an OB/GYN nurse. Both of these women had wanted children, but through various circumstances had been unable to have any.

Being as sensitive to emotions as possible, the pastor then asked if there were any other women he had not included who wanted to be mothers and been unable to. Two women who had suffered numerous miscarriages came forward. It was all very moving, Through it all, I was very impressed by the way the church honored as many people as possible without offending anyone.

In my mind, I contrasted this with another Mother's Day celebration that did not go as well. In this church, the pastor did not want to offend any women, even those who had chosen to not have children. He changed the day to "Women's Day" and every woman was given a token of recognition. What happened is that more women were offended at this change then might possibly had been if the non-mothers had been excluded. The complaints I heard came from women who had children and those who did not. The complaint was the same, "This is supposed to be Mother's Day, NOT Women's Day."

All these thoughts began to be directed to the idea of inclusion in the church. In many churches, regardless of how progressive they might be, there are many exclusionary elements that make newcomers and non-church people feel out of place. The strange vocabulary we use is one of those. Unspoken habits and dress codes are another. It might be the style of music or elements of worship.

I think that church is supposed to be as inclusive as possible. I feel that way because I'm fairly certain that's the way God wants it too. I've been part of many churches that were not. When things were changed to make them a little more inclusive, people in the church responded much in the same way some of the women responded to Women's Day - negatively. I've been part of churches where people grasped the missional vision that God has for the church and dealt with it. They did not feel trampled on just because things were done to include the outsider.

In your faith journeys, where have you been excluded? Where have you felt included? How have you endeavored to include those around you that God wants to see journey with you?

BOGO

BOGO - an acronym in retail sales that stands for Buy One Get One. For example, "Buy One, Get One free" or "Buy One, Get One half price"

This past weekend I saw an advertisedment on the scrolling marquee outside a big box pharmacy that included the acronym BOGO. The marquee did not indicate whether the "get one" was free, half price, or any other price. It simply said, "BOGO widgets" and then scrolled to the next deal on hand cream or something.

I didn't think anything of it. I have seen BOGO used frequently enough that I know what it means. I wonder, however, what percentage of the rest of the population does? I first recall seeing BOGO used three or four years ago by national inexpensive retail shoe store chain. I don't know if they can take credit for making BOGO part of our everyday vernacular, but they are the ones who did for me.

New words get introduced into our language all the time, especially with technological advances. "Internet" is a pretty new word, despite it's widespread use. Words change their meanings over time. Keith Drury has written an interesting article here about that. The use of certain words can easily segregate us into groups. When I was a public school teacher, I was amazed at how many acronyms we had that were somewhat esoteric to our profession. All professions have their own core set of exclusive words.

Language can sometimes be a segregator when it comes to our faith journeys. For those of us who grew up in church, we know all the buzzwords. For someone who is new to faith and Christianity, it's easy to get lost in conversation, the sermon, or even in Bible study because there are so many words you don't understand. The saddest thing for me is when individuals get discouraged and never come back because of all these words they don't understand.

Without harping on the exclusivity issue too much, there are words that get introduced into our lives when we begin our faith journeys that bring positive results. Words like "grace", "hope", "forgiveness", and "love". We already know these words and their meanings, but when one begins a faith journey, they take on a whole new significance. They become more readily recognizable. BTW, BOGO has one other meaning. According to mybaby-name.com, it is a Slavic boy's name which means "receives God's glory", another thing which happens to us when we begin our faith journeys. That's a new word I'm definitely excited about introducing into my life.

Just a thought . . .

Whachis!

In case you've never seen the t-shirt, "Whachis" is defined as the last words said by a redneck before killed in some stupid stunt, i.e. "Watch This". We've probably all been guilty of this at least once, us guys anyway. While in the dentist's lobby today, I read an article in Sports Illustrated (Apr 21 edition) about the dangerous risks we take. The writer had signed up for a weekend bull riding school. He broke his collarbone. A fellow student was killed. This weekend my wife probably felt like I belonged somewhere in these categories.

Here's the story. If you are blood related to me, you were there when this happened. The other three people who read this were not, so bear with me as I share the details. We were gathered at my sister's house for my niece's birthday party. Her husband brought out his childhood go-cart for everyone's enjoyment. I got the second ride of the day, just to test the throttle and choke adjustments. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. On my last lap around the house, I turned the wheel sharply to pull into the "pit area". I turned a little too sharply. The go cart flipped. The upper frame landed on my forearm (I have a big knot near my elbow). This is a picture of the "road rash" I received as the cart and I slid for a few feet. My wife screamed. My oldest son, my brother-in-law, and the other fathers there for the party all laughed. Then all the wives sat around and talked about their juvenile husbands. The younger wives were warned by the older ones that it does not get any better.


This pic was taken the morning after. It doesn't do justice to how really cool the scrape looked when it first happened. When it first happened, I had red streaks all the way up to my wrist. The wound area was a bit wider. I was totally bummed the next morning when I saw how much it had healed. I was hoping to get a day or two of some really cool stories to tell about my great accident.

I have found that many of us treat our faith journeys with a "whachis" attitude or we glory in our accidents. We talk about how bad our lives were before we began our journeys. We do it for all kinds of reasons. We do it to remind ourselves how far we have come. Sometimes we do it to brag about how far we have come, forgetting the grace element. Perhaps we want to get some excitement back into our lives and we start walking down memory lane.

It becomes really dangerous when we say "whachis" with our faith journeys and allow ourselves to be put in risky situations where staying true to our faith can be difficult. It is true that God will always give us a way out of any temptation we may face. At the same time, it is our responsibility to avoid the temptation as much as possible, not go hunting it down.

Other times we want to hold onto our wounds. We may know that God can heal any wound in our lives. We know that it is through Jesus Christ that he does this. But the wound becomes such a major part of who we are, that we don't want to let it go. We are afraid of what life will be like if we don't have it in our lives. That fear is another one of those things God can deliver us from.

Which of these categories do you belong in? BTW, my son later turned over the minibike. We went window shopping for dirt bikes today.