Christmas Reflections '09

It's December 26, the day after Christmas (Boxing Day for those of you who maintain roots with England) and a strange one it has been. As I drove my youngest son to the mall to buy a Lego set with some Christmas money he received, today's date shockingly dawned upon me. It shocked me so because except for the fact it took over 30 minutes to travel less than half a mile from the interstate to a parking place and the Christmas decor still adorning the mall, it certainly did not feel like Christmas.

Before I go any further, let me say that one steps onto shaky ground when talking about whether or not it "feels" like something. Christmas is not a feeling. It's either a secular holiday with sacred undertones or a sacred observance with secular trappings, depending on who you are and where you start. The strange thing for me this year is I felt like I had no starting place. It just came and went. All the sacred and all the secular meanings were clearly present, but none of them rang very loudly for me.

Perhaps the economy killed the secular for me. We had managed to save a substantial chuck of change in order to make this a really big Christmas in terms of gifts. But car repairs, medical bills, and rising gas and grocery prices put the kibosh on that. We did manage to salvage a portion of that savings. With the help of Craigslist, we were able to surprise the boys with a Wii.

That actually turned out to be the best part of Christmas - the surprise on the boys faces. It wasn't the best because we got them some huge expensive present. It was the look of satisfaction on the faces before opening the Wii. They knew our financial situation and the very small number of presents under the tree did not faze them. They were very content with the few small things they had received until opening that one big box labeled for both of them. It was a moment I will cherish forever.

Perhaps my return to teaching killed the sacred for me. I have been out of the pulpit for about a year and half now. I turned in my credentials, feeling 100% confident that God has led me away from pastoral ministry. My ministry to students and fellow teachers had resumed after a fifteen year hiatus. Ironically, something about being on the front line as opposed to directing the troop movement from the church office made it seem less so.

Christmas carols have always been my favorite part of Christmas. On the Sunday before Christmas, we sang What Child is This. This line stood out - "Good Christian, fear for sinners here, The silent Word is pleading." It hit me like a ton of bricks - that is what Christmas is all about. That is the mission of Christmas and every Christ follower.

As I reflect on Christmas 2009, though it did not "feel" like Christmas, I must say it has been one of the best ever. Maybe it was more like "Christmas" than I realized.