Family Size

An unusual thought crept into my mind early this morning (as if I have any other kind of thoughts). Growing up, I only knew two kids who were only children. One girl's parents had divorced when she was very young. She and her mom lived with her grandmother until we were in high school. The other girl was simply an only child, at least as far as the knowledge we had. That girl was always a little strange and thinking back, I probably assumed it was because of her only child status.

I can recall that this only child phenomenon was an unusual one to me. I am the oldest of five children, four surviving. It has never occurred to me to ponder what life would have been like if I had been an only child. My siblings have probably wondered whether their life would have been better in my nonexistence. Being an only child just always seemed to be an oddity to me. I had several friends who were sort of only children because they had older siblings that were much older than they. But they had siblings so they were not complete oddities.

In the days when our country was mostly rural, couples had lots of children because the farm needed workers and Mr. and Mrs. Jones were going to need someone to take care of them when they were older. I don't know what the motivation to have larger families (i.e. four or more children) was in more recent times. I know that today, most couples have two children, many times for the simple reason that the children will have playmates built into the family, freeing up the parents attention. As ludicrous as it sounds, examine your own thoughts about that . . .

Personally, my wife and I would love to have three or four children. . . ideally that is. For lots of reasons we've stopped at two. But just as I could not imagine life as an only child growing up, I cannot imagine life with only one child. That's not a judgment, it's just a statement on how I'm wired.

As a person of faith who is concerned about other people knowing about the God I serve, I cannot fathom being an only child of faith either. I don't want to serve this God alone - I want to do it in a faith community with others on the same faith journey. I'm not content with keeping my family size in its current state. I want to bring other people into this family also, people who are not yet part of a faith journey. It's one of those important things Jesus told us to do when he ascended back into heaven. It's also one of those things that we will naturally want to do aif we don't overthink it.

How big is your family?

You gotta see this . . .

Baseball is my favorite sport. I would actually watch all 162 games a season if I had the time (and cable!). A friend sent me this clip. Enjoy.

June Bug correction

The annoying pest I've been trying to eliminate is not the fun to chase June bug, but in fact the Japanese beetle. My wife bought a Japanese beetle trap today and within minutes of hanging, it had collected five beetles. The linked article quotes a University of Kentucky study that says traps do more harm than good because they attract more beetles. We'll see. Either way, my thoughts in the previous post remain true, regardless of what type of bug it is!

Chasing June Bugs

Chasing June bugs has not turned out to be as much fun as I had hoped it would. For the last two weeks I have been trying to save my garden from a constant attack of these leaf hungry varmints. For some reason, June bugs really like eggplant leaves. Their second favorite seem to be either cucumber or zucchini. But even then, they prefer the eggplant 10 to 1.

Where are they all coming from?! In one day, I easily picked fifty bugs off my plants. Each day I pick at least another twenty to twenty-five minimal. I've been saving each and every one. I'm collecting them to make June bug soup. I'll spray the solution on the plants and it is supposed to keep away any future June bugs. No one wants to hang around their dead counterparts.

This is all part of my ever increasing learning curve of trying to be self-sufficient in the gardening arena. One day I'd really like to have a small farm and grow as many vegetables as possible. As I was picking off all the little buggers, I tried to imagine what this would be like on a large scale. I'm sure that explains the need for a big tractor with all kinds of cool attachments that will plow, till, harvest, and even spray things like pesticides. It also makes it sound a lot like work instead of some idealistic dream of scratching your Green Acres itch.

I guess it's all part of the list of never-ending metaphors that come along to help us understand what life is supposed to be like, even life on a faith journey. There will be the normal bug infestations that must be dealt with. Real life, and real faith, requires work. But even though it's work does not mean it can't be enjoyable and fulfilling. Life on this side of death will never be absolutely perfect, though I believe it becomes closer to being so each day, as do we.

Maybe they aren't metaphors at all. Maybe we are seeing the real thing, real life itself. Maybe the utopian ideal is right before us if we will just live in contentment, dealing with each circumstance as it comes along and not perceiving everything as a hindrance or test. Maybe this IS what chasing June bugs is supposed to be like. Just a thought.

I (almost) did it!

Today I did the hardest thing I've ever done since becoming a pencil pushing desk jockey after graduating from college. I took the Physical Agility Test as part of the application process to become a firefighter for the city of Raleigh. I've been kinda training for this test over the last couple of months. I went in today not really believing I would pass. But, I almost did it. The obstacle course did me in. After the second lap, I was spent and had nothing left to give. Insufficient upper body strength left my arms a pair of wet noodles after exiting the tunnel on the second lap.

But I am not ashamed. Despite being disappointed at not passing the test, I know I gave my best and tried my hardest. Even though I was intimidated by all the former football players, younger men and women, and others in much better shape than I, I was greatly encouraged by everyone there. Everyone cheered for everyone else. One guy in particular was going around congratulating everyone. When I came out the tunnel and had to stop, he even offered to go thru the course with me to get me through one last time.

Honestly, I do not think I would have done as well as I did on the rest of the test if not for the feeling of instant community that was present. I met guys who were taking this test for the fifth time! Being a firefighter was a dream they were not ready to give up. And they provided some of the best encouragement. Each one told me to give it another shot in January.

This is what it should be like on a faith journey. It is one of perseverance. It should be one of community. It should be one of a persevering, encouraging community. So many times the faith community is guilty of shooting the wounded in the name of discipleship. Consequences are necessary but so are restoring functions. After the community has handed down the consequences, it should whatever possible to help that person be restored to whatever level he has fallen from. As I left the training center today, the Chief only spoke words of encouragement.

Despite "failing" I feel good. Despite being unemployed STILL, I feel good. On second thought, maybe I did do it.

Fish Envy

Saturday was our last day at the beach. I wanted to get one more day of fishing in, if at all possible, without taking away from spending time with the boys. So, I got up at 6:00 am and went on down to the pier. While buying my fishing pass, I decided to buy a couple of new rigs and try something different than plain ol' bottom fishing. I even bought a bucket of minnows.

Things started off great. On my second cast, I had hooked something. Just as I had him reeled above the surface of the water, he shook himself off. This isn't a "the one that got away" story, but it was a nice size bluefish that would have been good eating. I was encouraged. Today I would catch some fish.

I baited another minnow and threw out my line. As the guy standing five yards to my left landed another blue, I felt a tug on my line. I went to set the hook and could tell there was nothing. I waited for the fish to make a second try, and sure enough he did. The tug was harder, but the hook did not set. I waited some more. After waiting long enough to realize I better check my bait, I reeled in my hook to find nothing but the head of the minnow left. I'm guessing a hungry blue took the rest.

But I'm still encouraged. Baiting another minnow, I try again. Nothing. More nothing. I changed rigs and go to a more traditional setup, like the guy to my left. He's pulling in fish every few minutes. I use the same rig, the same bait, cast into basically the same spot. He's catching fish. I'm not. At 9:30 I call it quits to go body boarding with the boys and get some breakfast.

In the course of those few days I was on the pier, I watched several people, all using the same lure, pull in bluefish almost at will. At a minimum, I watched people cast out and retrieve this plug with a 25% success rate. In other words, every fourth cast yielded a fish. After my wife saw it in action, she gave me permission to go buy one from the pier tackle shop and give it try.

I excitedly attached the plug to my line. I anxiously cast out and began retrieving the lure. After about ten tries - nothing. Meanwhile, a guy down the pier using the exact same lure is landing a fish every fourth cast. I watched what he was doing to see what I could do differently. For starters, he was able to cast out about twice as far me. Secondly, he had perfected the little jerking motion you are supposed to use while retrieving the lure. I surmised the problem was I was not quite reaching the fish. When I asked him how he was able to cast so much farther than I, his answer was, "This is a $350 rod and reel. You probably aren't going to get it out that far."

I accepted that answer. I had inferior equipment. He then added that I was using too heavy a line. He recommended I not use more than 12 lb. line. I tried for about ten more minutes. I figured bluefish were not in my immediate future. I gathered up my stuff and called it a day.

Knowing Sunday was Fathers Day, I went back to the camper and dropped hints for a $350 rod and reel. However, as I analyzed this man's answer, it did not make sense, at least in terms of pricey reels. He was using a spinning reel, same style as me. The reel has nothing to do with the casting in that setup. Maybe he was just plain better and didn't know it. Maybe he liked to brag about his expensive equipment. Maybe he didn't really know and was giving his best guess. I'm guessing the experience and skills had more to do with it than anything. Luckily, I can develop those much quicker than I can buy a $350 rod and reel.

Besides crying about not catching any fish, why do I write this? We all encounter things in our lives that we enjoy doing, feel called to do, or just want to try. We don't always encounter success in those things. We watch the people around us doing the same things and they have lots of success. We are faced with a bunch of different options - quit, keep trying, get help or training, find satisfaction with our current performance, or live in a state of frustration.

You might call this a stretch, but I think the only option for someone on a faith journey is to keep trying and do it for the glory of God - even fishing. We are told to do everything we do for the glory of God. That's going to require a lot of prayer. You're going to want to quit. You're going to wonder if you should keep doing it. You're going to wonder if this is a real calling or just a pipe dream.

Of course not everything carries the same importance as catching a cooler full of bluefish, but those things that do should be continued. At some point, you are going to be called to do something and you will feel like you have no success. Just because it's a calling doesn't mean you will have great results. You will see friends, colleagues, and others doing the same thing with a lot better results. Success can only be measured by your faithfulness to the task. As long as you are faithful, you are successful. If you are using any other definition, you are using the wrong one. Everything else leads to fish envy.

Just a thought . . .

"I Fish, Therefore I Lie"

So said a bumper sticker I saw at the pier today. I'm in the middle of a long weekend at the beach with the family. Today while playing in the surf with the boys, I watched the people along the pier standing there, many just waving their rods up and down continuously, like the apprentice in a blacksmith's shop stoking the fire with the bellows. While on the pier, I watched these same fisherman just stand there, keeping their rods in motion, engaging in conversation and almost oblivious to their repetitive motion. I wonder if they do that in their sleep?

I thought of myself the day before. I had spent the day fishing on the pier, only to come back to the camper with an empty cooler. What makes a person stand there all day, holding onto a stick with a piece of string tied to the end and hanging it in the water? As I grew increasingly frustrated with the empty cooler and contemplated when I would call it quits for the day, something would keep me going. I would get a bite. I would reel in my line only to catch a croaker that was too small, a pinfish, a baby shark, or some other ugly thing that no one could identify. As long as I caught one of these with enough frequency, I would keep going, hoping the next one would be a keeper. Or maybe the guy next to me would reel in a keeper and encourage me to keep trying.

There are a lot of lessons we can draw from this fish story. I might go on to say that we do some pretty stupid things sometimes and think we're having great fun. Or we could talk about how if a thousand people do a stupid thing it's still a stupid thing. Perhaps this is a great time to talk about doing nothing that's work related and taking a regular sabbath.

I'm thinking it's a great opportunity to talk about the hope that keeps us going when nothing else can. It does not matter how bad things might seem or be, there is always hope for those of us on a faith journey with Jesus Christ as our Savior. In his letter to the Romans, Paul tells us a lot about hope and how it keeps us going in tough times. Later Paul tells us that not only does this hope not disappoint us and keep us going, but it's a hope that promises a better life where we share in the glory of God. In fact, God is a God of hope and wants to fill us with it on this journey.

No matter what's happening in your life, there is always hope. And that's no fish story.