Just one more bite

WARNING: This post contains references to my obsession with peanut butter.

Tonight as I kept sneaking back to the pantry for another spoonful (yes, I doubled dipped, but it's also my own personal jar), I reminded myself that I'm supposed to be losing weight. Peanut butter is allowed on the program, but not a cup a day. It also reminded me that much of the weight loss struggle for anyone is controlling the appetite. Read the diet books, join one of the diet programs (Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, etc.) and one thing they work into their systems is keeping you from going hungry. This enables you to partially control the eating. Your goal then becomes to not give into impulse eating.

Here's where people well versed in the Bible will immediately recognize a reference. Some will scoff at how I'm using it though. With each successive spoonful of peanut butter I ate tonight, one thing and one thing alone was happening. I was thoroughly enjoying myself. The taste and texture was incredible. It was a true pleasure of the flesh. It was pure sensual enjoyment. I know some of the people who will be reading this and I already know the less than pure thoughts going through your minds. Don't leave them on my comment board!

Eating peanut butter (or your own favorite food), getting a buzz whether it be from nicotine, alcohol, or something harder, and yes even sexual pleasures are all things that require our self-discipline to control. I wanted more peanut butter. I can safely say that for about five minutes, I was consumed by peanut butter instead of me consuming it. Before you label me as demented, how many times have you done that with a bag of potato chips? You know can't eat just one!

As I ate that last spoonful tonight, I contemplated how I just wanted more. I evaluated my self-discipline. I also thought about the Holy Spirit and my relationship with God. Do I view the experiential aspect of my relationship with God the same way? Do I seek, do I crave more of the presence I feel in worship? Do I desire to know him more when I experience the breadth, height, and depth of his love? Or is that the area where I choose to exercise self-control and limit myself to how much of that I can have? Just a thought.