Not what you thought

I saw something the other day I never thought I would see. As I was pulling into the parking lot of a video rental store, I could hear the music blaring from one of the only two other vehicles in the parking lot. It was hard core gangsta rap. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the source. It was coming from the pick up truck beside me. The surprise began when I saw that the only person in the truck was an approximately fifty year old white male. I dropped my videos in the return slot, got in my car to drive away and the surprises kept coming. On the back window of the pickup truck were all the usual adornments - a rebel flag and several NASCAR related decals. I can't remember what they were now, but I know there was a third category of decals of the type usually found on a pick up truck in the rural South.

I'm still trying to reconcile all these conflicting images. I live in an area that is rapidly growing. Most of the economy is driven by the information technology and biomedical fields. People are moving here in droves from all around the country. Several years ago, one of the cities in this area was jokingly (and accurately) referred to as a containment area for relocated yankees. Despite all this, many of the people who live here state with pride their redneck heritage (their words, not mine). Our rap-listening friend fits the bill for this latter group, with the exception of his music of course.

I have enjoyed my own moments of not fitting into someone else's preconceived notions. On more than one occasion, people have been shocked to learn I'm a pastor. It's usually because of my appearance. I don't wear a suit, or even a tie, except on very special occassions. Once I was getting a haircut and all the stylists freaked out about half way through my cut when it became known I was a pastor. "You don't look like a pastor" was their response. "Good" was my response. I then pointed out how differently they treated and talked to me because of this new knowledge. I actually preferred it the other way.

There a lot of preconceived notions about people on a faith journey. They usually don't involve rap of any kind ;-) They do involve a list of do's and don'ts. Or they involve a list of things that will start happening and another list of things that will stop happening. Then the surprise moment comes when we realize that 2/3 of either list turns out to be bogus or yet to be fulfilled. It rocks our world. We don't know how to reconcile the situation. Was all we believed wrong?

Probably. Usually it's wrong because we were focused on the wrong stuff. A faith journey is basically about following God. We tend to add a lot of requirements or expectations of blessings to that. The trick is knowing exactly what it means to follow God. I'd like to hear what you think that means. Think about it and post your thoughts while I go look for that young African-American man driving the pimped out ride while listening to Hank Williams Jr.

Peanut Butter and Salmonella

I've always said that George Washington Carver is my favorite scientist of all times. Besides seeking God's wisdom for everything he did, he is generally given credit for inventing the absolute best food in the world - peanut butter. (Actually George Bayle is recoginized as first person to sell the stuff )I love peanut butter so much that I will sit down with a jar and spoon and eat to my heart's content. I'm pretty picky about my peanut butter though. There is only one brand that I will eat like that - Peter Pan Reduced Fat Crunchy. For those of you wondering, I have received no compensation for this endorsement.

Imagine my dismay last week whenI read about the salmonella contamination in my favorite brand of peanut butter. I quickly emailed the story to my wife who checked all our peanut butter jars. Every jar we had, including the off brand, came from the infected lot. Interesting thing is that we have eaten out of every jar and no one has gotten sick. Since we have consumed a fair amount of the creamy crunchy nectar of heaven already, we are assuming that we have a safe batch to eat. We're going to finish it off anyway.

You are probably wondering how I'm going to relate peanut butter to our faith journeys. First, I do not recommend that any of you go out and buy peanut butter that MAY be infected with salmonella just because I did not seem to be affected. In fact, it may have been reckless and inappropriate for me to even tell you I'm okay doing it. If you have any misgivings about eating potentially lethal peanut butter, you should continue to avoid doing so.

Many times, we set standards of behavior on our lives once we begin a faith journey. Some behaviors are clear, others are not. What is permissible for one person on a faith journey will not be permissible for another. Back in the days of the Apostle Paul, the hot topic of debate was whether to eat meat that had been sacrificed to idols.

These are waters that should be entered into very carefully. If there is something that you are hesitant to do because you don't think it is appropriate, then don't do it. If you think it is appropriate and have a clear conscience that it will not lead you away from God or down a path that eventually takes you to places clearly inappropriate, then go ahead. Either way, people must be careful about their decisions and how they judge people who disagree.

I'm one of those people who believes if it is questionable and causes more controversey than good things, I'm not doing it. But that's me. You have to decide how you want to handle your faith journey. Just remember that the decision is not one you should make alone and on your own counsel. You need to pray, search Scripture, and even ask the others around you on a faith journey.

While you search for those answers, enjoy some peanut butter. That's what I do.

Body Rhythms

My leg is doing some really weird stuff. For no apparent reason, it will go numb. Or, I will get a very warm, almost hot sensation on the outer part of my leg and I can feel it move down my leg and into my foot. I don't mean my whole leg gets warm. I mean I can feel this spot about one inch in diameter of warmness move around. When it gets to my foot, it stops and the bottom of foot just gets hot. The really really weird part is it has been doing this for about three years, but only in late January and February.

When it first began in 2004, I freaked out. I thought I had some sort of blood clot. So did the doctors. Bloodwork was done and appointments with various specialists were scheduled. After an ultrasound ruled out any circulatory problems, they sent me to a neurologist. After sending electrical impulses all through my leg and taking pictures of all sorts, the diagnosis was "Nothing's wrong with you." By the end of March, the weirdness stopped. My physician had no good answer. It was ruled out as stress. Especially since it had stopped.

The stressor that shouldered the blame was the death of my father. He passed away on Feb 27, 2004, only seven weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. Calling those seven weeks stressful is an understatement. It also coincided with drastic change in our ministry appointment. There were many other minor factors involved. When all these things were added together, they equalled one big honkin' ball of stress.

I was satisfied with that answer. Until January 2005. The weirdness in my leg began again. I did not revisit the doctor for more tests. I felt pretty sure my body was reacting to memories and emotional anniversaries. As before, it was gone by March. January 2006 came and so did the weirdness. This past Christmas I wondered aloud to my wife if January 2007 would be a repeat. A few weeks ago it became official. I had my first bout of weirdness. (Well, my first bout of weird leg sensations. Weirdness isn't really new to me.)

I told my wife about it last week. Her first words were, "Is this about your father's death?" I wish I knew. By now I'm fascinated with the process. How does my body and mind work together to create this cycle? Twenty years from now, will I be able to predict the onset of weird leg sensations? Seventy-five years from now, will there be some sort of local tradition that springs up to commemorate this annual occurence, complete with weather predicting myths and the like?

As long as I can be assured there is no real health problem, I'm not worried. I'm assuming it's some type of pyschosomatic response triggered by the emotions of the anniversary of my father's passing. In my faith journey, there are probably similar cycles of high and low times. If I analyze it, I'm sure I can map out the cycle and identify the triggers. If I'm smart enough, I can emotionally manipulate events to avoid the low triggers and maximize the high triggers. Or, it may be hopeless. I may be a prisoner to the cycle. Trying to avoid the low triggers may be like telling someone not to think about hot fudge sundaes. That's ALL they will think about.

Plus, faith journeys are more than emotional events. There is a spiritual element that can act outside of our emotional states. Many times our spiritual response is actually contrary to the norm for the current circumstance. For example, joy in the midst of suffering, love in the face of persecution, etc. But there are things we CAN control and should control. Are there things we know will trigger a downward or reverse trend in our journey? Avoid them. Some cycles should be broken.

I have to also be careful to not write off those low moments as "just part of the cycle." There may be a real spiritual health concern present that I should address. Nor should I take for granted the high moments either. So take the time to assess your rhythm. Meanwhile, I need to walk around and wake up my leg.

The Road to Here

I don't know if your team won tonight or not, but the Soul Bowl - I mean the Super Bowl - is over. It's been called the Soul Bowl by some because there was finally a black head coach on the sidelines of the Super Bowl. Not just one, but two. Tony Dungy coached the Indianapolis Colts (the winners BTW) and Lovie Smith coached the Chicago Bears. It was historic for those reasons and several commercials even made note of it.

During the game, several of us were talking about this particular situation. The subject of Doug Williams came up. Williams was the starting quarterback for the Washington Redskins. In 1988 he became the first black quarterback to win the Super Bowl. I shared my particular memories of that event as a white person. I was a college sophomore and I remember thinking it was no big deal. Williams was a great player and he deserved to win and to be awarded the MVP trophy. I also remember how important it was for my roommate and other suitemates, all of whom were young black men. It was a memorable event for many different reasons.

Nineteen years ago, I was just young enough to have missed the struggles that many of our brothers and sisters of color endured. I did not know of a time when an otherwise gifted person was denied a position solely based on skin color. College sophomores today of all colors struggle to know what the big deal is about the Soul Bowl because for a majority of them, the struggle for civil rights is history. And I think that is mostly a good thing though we cannot forget how we got Here.

I have been part of several online and offline discussions lately about matters of Christian theology, faith journeys, and the stance on particular issues by particular churches. There are some changes that need to be made because we are now Here, not Back There. However, some of these changes and the supporters of these changes almost appear to want to demolish the road behind them. They want to forget how we got to where we are.

Faith in general is like that. So much of what we believe and say about our faith journey is the product of 2000 years of Christian history, thinking, and sharing. Before that you have another 2500+ years of Jewish history, thinking, and sharing. The things we believe as Christians were not all formulated during a two week retreat and then posted for the world to see. They took years to develop. Most of us have no idea that for 300 to 400 years, there were constant debates about who Jesus really was and how he worked, etc. Some things got Here a long time ago and so we forget the development of those ideas. We then neglect to give ourselves to develop some of these ideas or fine tune some of what we believe today.

Faith really is a journey. Wherever you are on your journey, celebrate the Here where you are without forgetting the There where you used to be. Look forward to the place you will be in the future. Yet rejoice that you might be able to forget that you weren't always like this. Just a though.